Recently, I finished the first draft of my book. It’s a book I’ve resisted writing for ten years because there are parts of it that are just so darn scary, I was much more comfortable shoving those memories and ideas into a closet than bringing them into the light of day. And yet, that book just kept insisting it wanted to be written. And now that it’s written (at least the first draft), it won’t leave me alone until I share it. Pesky book.
After I finished it though, it felt like a great big boulder had been lifted off me. A boulder of fear and resistance that was keeping me from growing into the next phase of my life.
Shortly after closing the file, something told me I should go back and watch the video I created two years ago. In 2009, I chose “fearless” as my word for the year, and in honour of that choice, I created this video…
After watching it, I sat back in stunned amazement. In just over two years, I’ve done almost all of the things I committed to in that video!
– I’ve taken not just one, but THREE art classes. I have fallen in love with painting AND I’m even teaching an art journal workshop at 21 Secrets! How cool is that?!
– I wrote the book that was scaring the pants off me, rather than the book that seemed like the safe choice (and a publisher was interested in).
– I got breast reduction surgery and consequently stopped wearing ill-fitting clothing.
– I’ve dared to reach out and be vulnerable and have developed some truly amazing friendships.
– I’ve taken chances with my writing and shared a lot of personal stories on my blog. I dropped my “fumbling for words” blog because it was time to step into a more confident writer voice.
– I took up yoga and loved it. And then I took up running and loved it even more.
– I quit my job without a master plan or security blanket. I jumped into the abyss not knowing where the ground would be.
– I started Sophia Leadership and have connected with a lot of amazing people through what has emerged here.
– I started teaching a writing course at the university. I fell in love with teaching. And I dream of the next courses I want to teach.
– I released my first e-book. I took a risk and asked a lot of smart people to contribute, and they DID! Over 500 copies were downloaded in just two weeks.
– I followed my heart to a few world-changing events and met some truly amazing world-changing people.
– I put out a proposal to ALIA to do some promotional work for their Summer Institute, and they took me up on it.
As soon as I realized that I’d done all of those things I’d dreamed of having enough fearlessness to do, I knew it was time to make a new video. If one little video can have so much impact, perhaps I need to do a new one every couple of years.
tree of hope
AND this time I decided it was time to make a truly bold commitment, and paint my intentions on the wall. In the video, you’ll see the creation of the dream-filled artwork that now greets me when I walk into my little basement studio (alongside the one by my daughter Maddy).
While we were painting, Maddy joked that if all of those swirls represented my daughters (as they have in other paintings, when I’ve painted only three), I must want to have a LOT of children. I told her that this time, they represent my dreams. Her response? “If you have that many dreams, you’d better get busy and make them happen, because your life is half over!”
Ah yes… out of the mouths of babes!