What I’ve been thinking about lately
The humanity behind the harm: Extending grace to ourselves and others
I am a good person. At least that’s what I tell myself on a regular basis. I make a few mistakes now and then, but on the whole, I’m a good person. I pay my taxes, I never litter, I’m polite to baristas and sales clerks, I don’t yell at...
read moreThe beauty of having space held for you
Listen to this post... I have a confession to make. I’m not very good at letting people hold space for me. It’s true. I’ve built my work around what it means to hold space, and I understand how valuable it is, and yet… I often bump up against resistance around...
read moreWhat if I’m not a “nice girl” anymore?
I have been well trained to be a nice girl. So well trained, in fact, that, decades after that training took place, my body still goes into spasms whenever I even slightly deviate from the “nice girl” rule book. Let me tell you… when you’re...
read moreDaring to peer into the shadows: What to do when your own darkness is revealed
Listen to a recording of this post: There’s a labyrinth on Whidbey Island that is encircled by tall trees that cast shadows across the path. As you walk the labyrinth, you step from light into shadow and back again. It's a great metaphor for life. A few weeks...
read moreThis is toxic masculinity. And we are tired of absorbing it.
I was on my way to the dentist, feeling anxious because I had a broken tooth and was sure the repair would be expensive and painful and that it must somehow be my fault and I’d be shamed for not flossing, eating hard candy, or clenching my teeth when I sleep. I was...
read moreWhat if there is no happy ending?
“Of all the losses experienced in personal relationships, ambiguous loss is the most devastating because it remains unclear, indeterminate.” - Pauline Boss When I teach about holding space, I almost always start by teaching about liminal space. It helps participants...
read moreReflections from a place of joy (my thoughts as 2018 draws to a close)
I can’t remember if I picked a word at the beginning of 2018. I used to choose one faithfully, but that practice hasn’t had as much of a draw for me in the last two years as it once did. In the early years (starting with the year I chose fearless), my word helped pull...
read moreSometimes, it’s okay to let them see you sweat (a reflection on vulnerability and camel shit)
Sometimes it's okay to "let them see you sweat." I sweat. A LOT. And my face turns beet red when I exert myself, so if you’re ever present when I exercise (which, sadly, isn’t often enough) you won’t be able to miss the evidence of my efforts. But this post isn’t...
read moreMy visit to Laker Memorial School, Kitgum District, Uganda
What can I tell you about my experience in Kitgum District of Uganda? I've tried about half a dozen times to write this article and to reflect on what the experience meant to me, but so far every attempt falls short. I was going to tell you about how it felt to be the...
read moreLeadership for times like these
“I don’t think of myself as a leader.” I hear that statement often from my clients and I understand it - I used to say the same thing myself. It wasn’t until a special mentor/boss took me aside and told me that she saw leadership ability in me and then offered me my...
read more
