Sovereignty is a Relational Concept
(Listen to me read the post) A few years ago, I had a pretty big a-ha moment when I realized that the concept of holding space (which I’ve spent the last seven years exploring in a deep way as I developed programs and wrote a book about it) is, at its core, about...
Expectations, Trauma, and Over-Functioning
A few weeks ago, when I was teetering on the edge of crawl-under-the-covers-and-don’t-come-out-until-2022 burnout, I was on Zoom with a couple of wise friends. We were checking in about how our lives were going, and I had just unloaded a long list of stressors,...
Confessions of an Imperfect Mother
I turned off the radio this morning, on the way home from driving my daughter to work. It was making me feel a little rage-y and I didn’t want to be in a bad mood. In the lead-up to Mother’s Day, the radio station was holding a contest where people could phone...
Tales of an Invisible Woman
image credit: Steiner Engeland, Unsplash Once there was an Invisible Woman. She wasn’t born that way – in the beginning she was just like every other child, expressing herself freely and wanting to be seen and accepted and loved for who she was. Sadly, though,...
On becoming a Velveteen Mother
with two of my daughters, after my second birth Listen: “Try not to react when you see her. She doesn’t look good.” That’s what my former husband was telling family members outside of my hospital room before they entered. He was right – I was in rough shape....
Pandemic: This nebulous landscape
Listen to me read: Nebulous [ neb-yuh-luhs ] adjective hazy, vague, indistinct, or confusedcloudy or cloudlikeof or resembling a nebula or nebulae in deep space; nebular When the lockdown is over, I will go back to the float spa. When I climb into that white pod,...
The self-help industry needs to grow up
image credit: Andy Holmes, Unsplash On New Year’s Eve, I was contacted by a local radio station to do an interview on how to prepare for the new year. I didn’t get back to them soon enough, so they found someone else. Later that day, on my way to the grocery store, I...
There are many ways of knowing (and science is just one of them)
photo credit: Greg Rakozy, Unsplash “Is there empirical evidence that backs up your holding space concepts?” I’ve heard some version of this question a few times in recent months. Sometimes it comes from people who are simply curious, sometimes they want to include my...
When we search for meaning, sometimes there’s a shadow lurking underneath
"Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose." – Viktor E. Frankl Before my trip to Ethiopia in 2007, my friend and colleague Sam (who lived there and was traveling with us into some of the poorest parts of the country)...
On trauma, abuse, and the justification that helps us cope with cognitive dissonance
image credit: Jonatan Pie, Unsplash I was driving home this morning (bringing home donuts, if you really must know), when a half-ton truck pulled up within inches of my rear bumper, impatient to pass me and trying to find an opening in the next lane to speed by me. I...
Winnipeg • Manitoba • Canada
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