What I’ve been thinking about lately

So you care about white supremacy? Do something.

Everyone is talking about what happened in Charlottesville last weekend, but the problem with much of the response to this event is that it gives us a clear "them" to vilify. "Those horrible neo-nazis and white supremacists. Can you BELIEVE what they're doing and...

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How to Hold Space for Children

I swore I’d never write a parenting blog. Parenting feels like a lifelong experiment where the variables, subjects, and researchers keep changing so that there’s never any way to prove your hypotheses. Just when you’ve figured out that “Action A applied to Subject B...

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What to do when your bowl is full

When I spoke in Florida last month, I recounted a story of a time when I was getting too many requests from people who wanted me to hold space for them when I was personally depleted and had to start saying to people “I’m at capacity - you’ll have to find someone else...

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This body, without the triumphant narrative

I am fat. Let’s get that out of the way first. At least 60-70 pounds over what would be considered my “ideal weight”. Probably more, but I don’t own a scale.  I don’t love this about myself, but it’s part of my story. It has been, to varying degrees, all of my adult...

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Hold your tongue and offer your heart instead

When my mom was dying of cancer, I occasionally got messages from well-meaning people who wanted to offer what they thought was valuable information about how mom could cure her cancer. Eat raw food, take more vitamin C, stop drinking milk - all of those suggestions...

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Forgiveness and the death of my son

If it hadn’t been for doctors’ errors, I would have a sixteen-year-old son. Halfway through my third pregnancy, I could sense that something was wrong. My body didn’t feel right. “I feel like I have to re-adjust my hips every time I stand up to avoid the baby dropping...

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