What will it say in your obituary?
where I'll be in retreat next week “She was always selfless, sacrificing everything for other people.” How often have you heard something like that said at a funeral? I know I’ve heard some version of it at the funerals of many people in my lineage – aunts, uncles,...
The Wisdom of 2022: life lessons from a year in transition
wandering in Nice at twilight It’s been a year. I don’t quite know which adjective to put in front, so I’ll just say that – it’s been a year. A year in which the last of my daughters moved away from home, quickly following her two sisters. A year in which I sold my...
Joy in the Liminal Season
“Can the liminal space also be joyful?” Someone asked me that recently, at the end of a talk I gave to facilitators of Deep Democracy in Belgium. “Yes, definitely!” I said. “I’m in such a liminal space right now!” If you’ve read my book or taken my courses, you know...
Punishment, Performance, and Perfectionism – all rooted in systems of trauma
The more I understand trauma, the less I am okay with the dismissal and/or glorification of where it originated. I toured a medieval castle this morning. As I walked from room to room, in this massive stone structure that has stood for 900 years, I listened to the...
What do I mean when I talk about Liberation and Tenderness?
morning journal-writing time in Chartres I’m on my Liberation and Tenderness Tour. After selling my house and putting my personal things in storage, I set off on what is likely to be a 5-6 month adventure, starting in Europe. (You can follow along on social media -...
On Cultivating a Lifestyle of Joy
“We create most of our suffering, so it should be logical that we also have the ability to create more joy. It simply depends on the attitudes, the perspectives, and the reactions we bring to situations and to our relationships with other people. When it comes to...
The lessons I’m learning about holding space and letting go in the middle of a big life change
I’m at the airport, ready to fly from the west coast of Canada to the east coast (where I’ll spend time with some dear friends), and then, next week, I’m heading to Europe for a few months, followed by some time in Costa Rica. I drove to the west coast from my home in...
I am leaping into liminal space
I am leaping into liminal space. I have sold my house and this month I’ll be selling my furniture, packing my personal belongings into storage and heading off to Europe for a few months. After that, I plan to spend some time in Costa Rica, and then… I don’t know. I...
What I wish I knew in my twenties (and what I’m still working on in my fifties)
image credit: Helena Lopes, Unsplash A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of spending time in the company of a group of twenty-somethings. At the Winnipeg Folk Festival, for four evenings in a row, my daughters and their friends gathered on our tarp for the mainstage...
What’s the value of a home? What’s the value of a body?
It all starts when a real estate agent sees me naked. It’s 8:30 a.m. and I am emerging from my bathroom, where I’d been blow-drying my hair, into my bedroom where I am about to get dressed. He is standing there, in my hallway, looking completely flummoxed. My real...

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