What I’ve been thinking about lately
The Wounded Parent: Raising kids while we do our own healing work
Listen to me read this post: Our vacation didn’t start well. We’d barely arrived at our AirBnB apartment when my daughter and I got into an argument. Only one of us could have a bedroom to herself for the week we were there. My daughter had done the research on...
read morePower saws and wild women
Listen to me read this post... “Can you believe my mom built an ACTUAL couch?!” Those words made me chuckle when my daughter said them to her friend. Every mom secretly covets a Daughter Brag, especially from a teenager. Yes, I built a couch. And...
read moreConfidence: not enough, too much, or just the right amount
At the Winnipeg Folk Festival, where you can find me in attendance every year, there’s a lovely tradition where multiple artists share a stage and take turns performing songs that are loosely connected to a predetermined theme. (Rarely have these artists met...
read moreHow to hold space (some new tips, four years after the viral blog post)
In the long shadows of early morning, on a recent trip to the Netherlands, I stood at the edge of a pond watching the light and breeze play with the surface of the water. Near where I stood, tall, straight reeds were reflected on the rippling water. It occurred to me,...
read moreThe humanity behind the harm: Extending grace to ourselves and others
I am a good person. At least that’s what I tell myself on a regular basis. I make a few mistakes now and then, but on the whole, I’m a good person. I pay my taxes, I never litter, I’m polite to baristas and sales clerks, I don’t yell at...
read moreThe beauty of having space held for you
Listen to this post... I have a confession to make. I’m not very good at letting people hold space for me. It’s true. I’ve built my work around what it means to hold space, and I understand how valuable it is, and yet… I often bump up against resistance around...
read moreWhat if I’m not a “nice girl” anymore?
I have been well trained to be a nice girl. So well trained, in fact, that, decades after that training took place, my body still goes into spasms whenever I even slightly deviate from the “nice girl” rule book. Let me tell you… when you’re...
read moreDaring to peer into the shadows: What to do when your own darkness is revealed
Listen to a recording of this post: There’s a labyrinth on Whidbey Island that is encircled by tall trees that cast shadows across the path. As you walk the labyrinth, you step from light into shadow and back again. It's a great metaphor for life. A few weeks...
read moreThis is toxic masculinity. And we are tired of absorbing it.
I was on my way to the dentist, feeling anxious because I had a broken tooth and was sure the repair would be expensive and painful and that it must somehow be my fault and I’d be shamed for not flossing, eating hard candy, or clenching my teeth when I sleep. I was...
read moreWhat if there is no happy ending?
“Of all the losses experienced in personal relationships, ambiguous loss is the most devastating because it remains unclear, indeterminate.” - Pauline Boss When I teach about holding space, I almost always start by teaching about liminal space. It helps participants...
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