by Heather Plett | May 14, 2007 | parenting
Forget Hallmark greeting cards, forget roses or expensive chocolates, forget all those things the marketers tell you you HAVE to buy for your mother. Just give me three big smiles, a lovingly prepared breakfast in bed (that is eagerly shared), three hand-made cards, a lovingly made chocolate rose, a pair of home-made earrings, a hand-painted jewellery box, and the odd “I love you, Mom”, and I’m a happy, happy mom.
Because Robin over at
Pensieve wanted to see my morning look anyway, I allowed a camera into the bedroom this morning to capture the mother’s day festivities. Here I am in all my morning glory…
by Heather Plett | May 12, 2007 | parenting
A few weeks ago, a three year old child was killed in the town where Marcel grew up. In a freak accident, she was run over by her own mother. While her mom was in the store, the little girl crawled out of her car seat and climbed out of the car. Her mom got back in the car, assumed her daughter was still where she belonged, and backed up – right over her daughter. A simple mistake. She’ll have to live with the consequences of that mistake for the rest of her life.
Today I read about another little three year old girl who went missing from a resort in Portugal. Her parents were dining in a restaurant about 100 yards from the room where they’d left their children sleeping and unattended. They checked on them every half hour, but the last time they checked, the door was open and their three year old was gone. A mistake, the parents say – they made a simple mistake.
In both cases, people have commented about the bad decisions the parents made. Shouldn’t they have been more careful? Couldn’t they have avoided it?
Last night, I made one of those mistakes. We’d parked the car on the side of the road at the soccer field. While I put my purse in the trunk and Marcel retrieved his lawn chair, Maddie asked if she could run to the playground. I said “Sure. Go for it.” I assumed she meant the soccer field, which was on the same side of the street as us. She didn’t. She meant the play structure on the other side of the street. As she darted into the street in front of the oncoming van, I realized my mistake, spun around, shouted, and grabbed her. The van slowed. Nobody got hurt. We were all just a little shaken. A simple mistake.
The difference is, I don’t have to live with the consequences of my mistake. I get to play the “oops – messed up – try again” card. Other than reminding myself to pay a little more attention next time, I get to forget anything ever happened.
I hope the parents of those other two children will find grace in their lives. I hope there will be plenty of other parents around them who will admit that they make mistakes too. I hope that, over time, they will learn how to forgive themselves.
by Heather Plett | Apr 3, 2007 | parenting, rain
Like I’ve said before, few things feed my self-doubt like parenting. In most other things I’m involved in, I’m reasonably sure of myself and believe that I can do the job just as well as anyone else. Parenting though – oy veh. I doubt almost every decision I have to make, and as every parent knows, there are LOTS of decisions. Is it okay to give them snacks before supper once in awhile? Should I get them involved in as many activities as their friends are involved in? Are they doing enough chores around the house? If I say they can’t play soccer during the winter because we can’t afford the exhorbitant rates of indoor leagues, will it damage their chances of progressing next year? Should I let them quit piano or should I push them a little harder? If they have a fight with one of their friends, what’s the best way to respond? Oh the pressure!
Every once in awhile, though, the light shines through, and I know I’ve given them some small intangible gift that makes up for some of the poor decisions I might have made.
Last week, Craig Kielburger was talking about an experience he’d had somewhere in Africa. He’d been visiting a village where they’d helped dig a well, and when the rain started to pour down, the visitors had all run for cover while the local people had run out into the downpour. One of the villagers had come to him and dragged him outside saying “It’s raining! We have to dance! Rain is good! We need rain for our crops to grow!”
While he spoke, I smiled – remembering that just the week before, Maddie had tried to drag me outside. “Mom! It’s raining! Let’s go outside!” I was busy at the time and didn’t really want to get wet, so I stayed inside, but she went and played in the front yard and came inside soaked to the bone and grinning.
Suddenly, as I listened to Craig’s story, the memory of that moment made my eyes fill with tears. Of COURSE she wanted me to go outside – she still believes that that’s what you do when it rains! Last year, when it finally rained after a dry spell, the girls and I all ran outside to dance with the raindrops. (You can find pictures here – check out Maddie’s face!) We followed our dance with a walk around the block where splashing through puddles was mandatory.
The moment of realization was a tiny affirmation that I’m doing alright as a mom. I might mess up now and then, but at least I’m raising a child who believes that when it rains, you really should dance.
by Heather Plett | Mar 13, 2007 | parenting
Tonight Marcel and I went for a walk – JUST BECAUSE WE CAN! After eleven years of parenting, we have reached a new milestone. We can leave our children at home for short periods of time without a babysitter. Wow!
There were so many days in those eleven years when we felt like we would NEVER reach that magical day when the kids would be capable of staying home without us. All those nights when we dreamed of just going for a short walk together after a long day, and those weekends when we knew the best thing for our relationship would be date night but we hadn’t thought ahead to book a babysitter – well, they’re fading away and now it feels like barely any time at all has passed in between.
Just as we’d begun our walk, we passed the house of our neighbours M&J. Their drapes were open and we could see J trying on a new snuggli. M&J just gave birth to their first baby a few weeks ago. Marcel and I smiled as we walked past. Even though some days it felt like our kids would be dependent FOREVER and we’d never go for a walk alone again, other days it feels like just yesterday when we were in their shoes – trying on snugglis and rocking our new baby to sleep.
In the blink of an eye, it all changes and we enter a new stage in our lives. I love this stage just like I loved all the others. I don’t want to go back to where M&J are, nor do I want to rush ahead to where Linda is. I will enjoy this moment while it lasts.
P.S. Speaking of our firstborn, if anyone feels so inclined, you could wander on over to her blog (yes, she’s finally posted) and leave her a friendly comment – she’s feeling pretty disappointed about not making the developmental soccer league. She’s a pretty good soccer player, and (trying to be unbiased) I was a little surprised she didn’t make it too. Even her old coach was sure she should have made it.
