In this house, all of your emotions are welcome, and none are banished to the basement. Tenderness teaches you to hold space for each emotion as it comes (even the ornery ones), and then she helps you release that emotion without getting attached to it. Tenderness also helps you welcome the exiled parts of yourself – the parts you might have abandoned because they brought up too much pain or shame or because they weren’t nurtured by your family of origin or culture. Tenderness helps you reclaim these parts and shower them with love.  

Last summer, while on a break from my work, recuperating from an intense and stressful year, I adopted a practice of Tenderness, using my journal to help me hold space for the emotions that were surfacing. I was back in therapy during that time, working through some old trauma that had surfaced, and Tenderness helped guide me in how to hold the memories and “re-mother” the wounded parts of me.

As I felt myself more and more healed and nurtured, I began to imagine what it would be like to live in a House That Tenderness Built. Several years ago, after my divorce, I spent a year reclaiming my house as a sanctuary for healing and growth for my daughters and for me, so I already felt like I’d done the groundwork for such a house – this was just taking it a step further. New pieces started to emerge in my journal in which I had conversations with Tenderness in the house that she built.

This new practice has been so meaningful for me that I decided to share it with you. I’ve gathered a collection of pieces (some are poems, some are dialogues with Tenderness, and some are prose) into this free e-book. After each piece, I’ve added a few Reflections – invitations for you to journal, make messy art, use your body, etc., to develop your own Tenderness practice. 

I’ve also created audio recordings of all of the pieces. Some have said that my recorded voice is soothing to them, so I thought that you might like to use these pieces as a form of guided meditation to invite you into the House That Tenderness Built especially for YOU.

I hope that this is just what you need right now! I hope it supports and nourishes you!

One last thing… If you think of Tenderness as meek and mild, you might be surprised at the version of Tenderness that shows up in some of these pages. A truly radical practice of Tenderness nudges you to examine the systems of oppression that have taught you not to be tender with yourself (and others) in the past. Trust me… the Tenderness in this book is no pushover!

P.S. Cover art for the e-book was graciously provided by one of my favourite artists, Andrea Pratt.  

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