The sun is shining
my bike tire is fixed
I’ve figured out how to delegate some of the work that was stressing me out
and we don’t have to replace the furnace.
My perspective is much improved today.
Ironically, it was this universal truth that I found strangely comforting last night.
I will disappoint you.
It’s true.
I will let you down.
If you are my employee
and you always expect me to be fair
and never to be selfish or forgetful
I will let you down.
If you are my friend
and you expect me to remember your birthday
and always think of calling you when you’re sad
I will disappoint.
If you are my daughter
and you think that mommies should never get angry
and always have time to listen
I will fail you.
If you are a busy volunteer
and you think that I should phone you regularly
encourage you and show appreciation for your efforts
I will fall short of your expectations.
If you are a blog reader
and you visit expecting to be entertained each and every time
by elegant prose and witty anecdotes
I will miss the mark again and again.
If you are my mother, husband, sister, team member, neighbour, brother, or just a person I see on the bus once in awhile,
I will most certainly let you down.
It’s not that I intend to.
In fact, I try hard not to,
and there may be long stretches of time when I live up to all of your expectations.
But somewhere, somehow
I will disappoint each and every one of you.
That is the way of human relationships.
There is disappointment sometimes.
Because, like you,
I am wonderfully and awkwardly human.
And flawed.
But that’s not the end of the story.
These three simple words in a Martyn Joseph song
made the universal truth bearable last night.
“Waiting for grace”
I am waiting for grace.
It is grace that lets me get up this morning
and try again.
It is grace that lets you forgive me when I fail.
It is grace that gives you understanding and compassion for my flaws.
It is grace that makes something beautiful out of the mistakes.
It is grace that makes love grow even in the face of disappointment.
This morning
I am waiting for grace.