by Heather Plett | Sep 24, 2010 | Uncategorized
“He’s gone.” Just those two little words on my cell phone screen. A message that seemed too big, too permanent for the fleeting impermanence of digital text. The end of a life marked by nothing more than a series of dots. Followed so soon after the message that said “He’s almost gone,” and the one headed the other direction saying “I’m coming home.”
Even worse, I was in a hotel room bathroom when the cell phone vibrated in my pocket to notify me that life has changed and I no longer have a father-in-law. It doesn’t seem like the kind of message you should get when you’re about to pull your pants down.
Death. It doesn’t wait for convenient, meaningful, or spiritual times to make its appearance. It shows up in the middle of the mundane, the ordinary, the every-day. While you’re at a management retreat. While you’re at 7-11 buying Slurpees.
Suddenly, in the time it takes for a heart to beat its last beat, for a text message to vibrate in a pocket, for a phone call to come from the hospital, life is no longer ordinary.
And now, forever after, September will be the month in which we lost both a son and a father.
by Heather Plett | Sep 22, 2010 | Uncategorized
Networking gives me hives.
I hate it. Seriously. I have been known to run screaming from the room after only 15 minutes at a wine and cheese networking party at a big fundraising conference in Dallas. (Okay, so maybe it wasn’t an audible scream, but it sure FELT like a scream.) Surrounded by so many pleasant, business-card-in-hand professionals, I felt like a complete loser.
It’s that forced, artificial, cheesy-smiled “must give ten people my business card at this conference or I’m a failure” kind of networking that I’m talking about. Ugh. I HATE small talk and lame conversation-starters (don’t even get me started about how much I dislike the “what do you do for a living?” question) and I almost always forget my business cards at home. Fail.
I am especially aware of my failings because I work for a boss who is a master at it and we have been at way too many public events together. There’s always a major glint in his eyes when he walks into a conference lobby – you can almost smell his brain working as he checks out the crowd and makes a mental checklist of all the people he needs to rub shoulders with. After the conference, he takes great delight in reporting all of the important people he met and is forever reminding us (his management team) that the most valuable thing about a conference is the coffee breaks and networking opportunities.
Ugh. Fail. (For me, that is, not for him – in truth, I have great admiration for his abilities and don’t mean to diss him.)
You can imagine that building a business brings with it some measure of fear and trepidation when I think about having to network with the right people to sell myself. Makes me want to hide away in my tiny basement studio, or maybe just get a job counting widgets.
But… as I’m reminded again and again, sometimes you just have to change your definition of success.
A recent conversation with my wise friend Desiree Adaway, helped me shift my paradigm on this. She’s launching a consulting career too, and she has a much better perspective on networking than I do. She reminded me of how easy it can be to connect with like-minded, authentic people, and how it’s really THOSE people (and not the cheesy-smiled business suits at a wine and cheese party) who should be part of my network tribe.
It’s true. When you put yourself out there in an authentic, passionate way that is true to who you are, you will attract like-minded people wherever you go. THOSE are the people who matter.
Case in point – Desiree and I bonded in 140 characters or less on Twitter when we both discovered we were leaving nonprofit jobs to launch consulting businesses. I’m not exactly sure what drew us to each other, but we were like moths to a flame. In a relatively short time, we’ve developed a really lovely friendship and mutual support system.
Desiree is not the only one. I’ve found a myriad of beautiful, like-minded people on social networking sites. Several of them have become phone/Skype friends, and some I have met in person.
In fact, when I look back at the last six months in particular, I can’t help but marvel at how many incredible people I’ve met and bonded with. One really good example of a successful tribe-building experience was my time at ALIA in Halifax in June. I met several really incredible people from all over the world and many of them have since become Facebook/Twitter/blog friends. Some of them are coming together in ongoing support circles, and at least one of them is becoming a client! (Let me tell you, it is just SO easy to bond with people at an event that has drawn people who think like you and was organized by people who understand how important a good “container” is, as opposed to a forced networking event.)
So you won’t see me at too many wine and cheese events, and I’m going to throw away that fake smile I never got very good at using. But if you bump into me (in person or online) and want to engage in a meaningful, authentic (or even meaningless and light-hearted, but PLEASE not fake and cheesy!) conversation, I’m all ears!
by Heather Plett | Sep 21, 2010 | Uncategorized
On Saturday I facilitated a workshop on Leadership and Personality for a diverse group of emerging leaders. The essence of it was my deep belief that by letting our unique personalities shine, we will be stronger and more effective leaders. I spent too many years of my leadership career trying to fit into a box that wasn’t my size, so now I’m trying to help other people bust out of those boxes into new ways of being.
I started the session with a series of questions.
- What are the stories you’ve been lead to believe about your personality? What did/do your parents/siblings/teachers/friends tell you – verbally or non-verbally – about who you are and who you are supposed to be?
- Setting aside the stories others have told you, what do YOU believe to be true about your personality and your place in the world?
- Which story are you allowing to shape who you are today? And what do you do with the disconnect?
After that introduction, all of the participants in the workshop spent some time exploring their personalities through a True Colors analysis. In True Colors, aspects of your personality are revealed through a rainbow of colours, some of which are stronger than others. (Side note: I am not a strong believer that personality type tests tell the WHOLE story or that we should read them as gospel truth, but I do believe they help us understand ourselves better, especially if we’re early on the journey to self-discovery.)
An aboriginal woman in the group identified herself as most strongly Orange, the colour that represents spontaneity, action, and a love of adventure.
“I see it as the fire in me,” she said. “An orange fire. A fire that others tried to put out. When I was growing up in residential schools, they were always trying to stamp out my energy, my creativity, and my spontaneity. They wanted me to conform to their model of what a ‘good girl’ was. But they couldn’t put the fire out. It will always burn in me and now that I’m grown, I’m learning to trust it and let it shine brighter and brighter.”
Her words were so powerful. I know I will remember them for a long, long time.
Most of us haven’t gone through the hell of residential schools, nor do we know the deep injuries that have been done to our Aboriginal people in the name of “making them more like us”. But almost all of us have stories of how people – most of them well-meaning but wrong-headed – tried to stamp out our fire.
What is it in you that is trying to emerge despite the stories you’ve been lead to believe about yourself?
Maybe it’s burning brightly, or maybe it’s just a tiny spark that needs some air to help it burst into a roaring flame.
I welcome you to answer the questions above to help you rekindle your flame.
by Heather Plett | Sep 19, 2010 | Uncategorized
My father-in-law, in better days
He’s going away
one breath
one touch
one aching whisper
at a time.
He lies there in that hospital bed
aged a dozen years
in only one.
We don’t know him anymore
this weathered shell
this frailness
this lost look in his eyes.
This man
whose strong hands
once reached for grandchildren
snuggled them close
carried them out the door to ride
on his John Deere tractors.
This home-spun inventor
who crafted one-of-a-kind tools
to make his gardening work
a little easier.
He’s going away
and nobody knows how
to say good-bye.
by Heather Plett | Sep 16, 2010 | Uncategorized
Well hello there! Long time no talk! I didn’t expect to be silent so long, but I’ve been on this whirlwind farewell tour to Toronto and I’ve barely had a chance to catch my breath, let alone blog.
On the work side of it, I’ve had a great time zooming all over the Greater Toronto Area meeting with a bunch of associates and wrapping up my work relationship with them and introducing them to one of my key staff members. Many of these associates have become friends, so it feels like a nice bonus to get to hang out with them on the edge of this transition.
But then there’s been the really fun, non-work stuff. I’ve spent a lot of time in Toronto over the past 6 years, so it’s become like a second home. Plus I have a lot of friends here. So I’ve been saying “see you later” to the city in my own way, and I’ve packed as many friend connections in as possible. So far, I’ve:
- enjoyed a lovely home-cooked meal with my dear forever-friend Laurel, whom I’ve known since we were both in diapers. (She’s the one pictured above.)
- had lunch and an amazing heart-to-heart conversation with my friend Barb.
- enjoyed some quiet me-time, wandering on the boardwalk at The Beaches.
- made a quick pit-stop at The Distillery for some of my favourite milk chocolate, chai flavoured cashews.
- went to see a TIFF film with my dear friend Stephanie (where we got to see Ed Harris, Jennifer Connelly, Amy Madigan, and a bunch of other Hollywood types in person) and enjoyed drinks and snacks afterward.
- did a little wandering in my favourite neighbourhood.
I’ve got more meetings today, and then I get to hang out with the amazing Jamie Ridler (who many of you know and love). Tomorrow, a few more meetings, and then a flight home.
It’s been surprisingly good. I’m trying not to feel guilty about getting so much fun out of a business trip, especially since my dear husband is not having as much fun at home with his father getting closer and closer to the end of his life. Last weekend, when he got called to the hospital in the middle of the night, I didn’t think I’d be making this trip after all. But things seem to have stabelized (at least temporarily), so I’m making the best of it and hoping my family at home forgives me.
Gotta run! Talk to you soon.
