by Heather Plett | Aug 5, 2010 | journey
So there’s a big secret I’ve been keeping from you. It’s been hard to keep it because I love to share things with you, my beloved readers, but I had to keep it quiet until a few important people knew about it. And now that they know, I can share it…
I AM QUITTING MY JOB!
It’s true! I gave my notice a couple of weeks ago, and now that all of my staff have been informed, I can share it with the big wide world. I’ll be finished here at the end of September.
It’s one of the scariest things I’ve ever done. Even scarier than skydiving. I am leaping and hoping that the net will appear.
I’m going to be self employed. (“Joyfully jobless” as one of my favourite Twitter friends says.) I’m going to follow that dream that has been niggling at the back of my heart for so long. I’m going to create my own version of a consulting company and do the things I love to do – write, teach, provide communications/public relations advice and expertise, facilitate workshops, do public speaking, and maybe produce a few videos of interesting international development projects, if that kind of work comes along. I expect that some of it will take the shape of “Sophia Leadership” which I talked about last month.
The day that I came home from work and told Marcel that I really felt like the timing was right to quit (even though he hasn’t found full time work yet, and we’d always said that would be when I’d make the leap), he agreed and we both felt quite peaceful about the decision. Minutes after we talked about it, I opened my email and there was an email from the University wondering if I’d be interested in teaching a “Writing for Public Relations” course! My first contract and I get to TEACH! (A contract, by the way, that came about partly through a referral and partly because of this blog!) That little email felt like just the kind of encouragement I needed to believe this is the right decision.
Today – the day after I made the announcement to staff and some of my network of colleagues – I am feeling a mix of nostalgia, excitement, fear, and relief. I’m getting flooded with friendly emails, phone calls, and visits from colleagues and associates who have become friends, and it’s so nice to hear from the people whose lives I have touch and who have touched my life. I will miss this place and all of the wonderful things it has brought to my life.
I would be lying if I didn’t admit that this job has burnt me out somewhat (managing up to 17 people and a million dollar budget can be really, really hard some days), but I have had so many wonderful opportunities here and learned so very much about the world, about myself, and about what it takes to be a leader.
None-the-less, even though I’m walking away from what has been one of the most perfect jobs I could imagine, I feel at peace about this decision. There is something new waiting to be born in my life and I am ready to see what that is.
The chrysallis is emerging from the cocoon and the butterfly is ready to try her new wings.
by Heather Plett | Aug 4, 2010 | Uncategorized
On the canoe trip this past weekend, my friend Jayne remarked that in the nine years she’s known me, she never knew how much I enjoy solitude. This comment came after I woke up early in the morning to sit for an hour alone gazing out over the magical foggy lake, and after I’d wandered off into the woods in the middle of the afternoon for a bit of quiet meditation on a moss-covered rock.
It’s true – solitude and I are old familiar friends. I can barely function without a little solitude in my life, whether it’s my bike ride to and from work, a wander through a bookstore in the middle of a busy weekend, or a business trip that offers me a few evenings with nothing to do but wander alone through a new city.
It’s not that I’m extremely introverted – I’m not. That’s why it surprised my friend Jayne. She’s mostly seen me as an outgoing leader/communicator who’s always willing to contribute to group discussions, host parties, facilitate workshops, etc. In the 4 or 5 times I’ve taken a Myers-Briggs survey, in fact, I’ve fallen just over the line into the extrovert category (though I tend to be a fence-sitter on that one).
But solitude… oh how I love it! It has to be in balance with the outgoing communicator stuff – I’d go a little crazy with nothing but solitude – but without it, I think I’d be a stressed out zombie much of the time.
I didn’t always embrace solitude. Back in my twenties, in fact, I thought solitude was something to be avoided. I was pretty sure if I spent too much time alone I would look pathetic and anti-social. So I did everything I could to make sure I was seen to be an active member of the social scene.
But then things changed around the time I turned thirty. Partly it was marriage and motherhood that changed me. Having people always present in my home made me realize that sometimes – though I loved these people dearly – I just needed some quiet time alone. Thankfully, my introverted husband understood, and started figuring out that if he’d occasionally send me out of the house for some alone time, I’d come back a much happier woman.
Embracing solitude can be a little scary at first. The first time you eat alone in a restaurant, for example, you worry that you might be the person everyone is staring at and feeling sorry for. But once you’ve done it a few times, you begin to sink into it and learn to appreciate the opportunity to quietly enjoy your food and do all the people-watching your heart desires. I used to take a book or magazine along to help fill the space between ordering and receiving my food, but I don’t always need that anymore.
I think that the more comfortable we are with ourselves – all of the good stuff AND the bad stuff – the more confident we can be in our solitude. We start to care less about what other people think and start to feel more relaxed just having our own thoughts for company. When we’re feeling insecure, it’s hard to sit still with our own thoughts. Mostly we want to keep busy and keep a little noise in our lives to drown out the sound of our own voice.
When I was in the woods on the weekend, the idea came to me that I should challenge myself one of these days to see just how much solitude I can handle – just how comfortable I am with my own thoughts. Perhaps I’ll do a vision quest – find a place in the woods where it’s just me, my thoughts, nature, and God. Will I embrace it, or will I run back to civilization when things get too quiet? I don’t know, but I think I’ll try – even though it feels a little scary. I’ve done lots of solo trips, but there’s a big difference between sitting alone in the woods and sitting alone in a hotel room.
This little video has been floating around the internet and I’m sure many of you have seen it by now. It’s a good little reminder of the beauty of being alone.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs]
by Heather Plett | Aug 2, 2010 | Uncategorized
I have been away. Venturing out into the wilderness with six other adventurous women. We did a canoe trip that included 4 lakes; 4 portages; 2 campsites; approximately 7 campfires; a dozen or so scratches and bruises; loads of great conversation; a few refreshing swims (not all of which included bathing suits – hey we were miles from civilization :-)); a whole lot of laughs; no disagreements; a few wild blueberry patches; lots of loons, ducks, and other birds; one thunderstorm in which we huddled cozily under a tarp; lots of good food; and no contact with the outside world.
The most memorable part of the adventure came right near the end, on our way home. It was a nearly impossible portage up the Devil’s Staircase in the mud – from one lake to the next. The only people who’d been there before were almost completely convinced we couldn’t make it through that portage without strong and agile men to carry our canoes up the treacherous path (imagine rock climbing up a nearly vertical cliff with a canoe on your back), but we were running out of time and couldn’t find the alternate portage. So we proved our own strength and determination by conquering it. And we did it together, all of us pitching in and proving that women working together can prevail against almost insurmountable odds. It was a beautiful moment that we celebrated by diving into the water and cleansing our exhausted, muddy bodies.
It was so very, very good to spend time in nature with supportive women, reminding ourselves of our connection to each other, to the earth, and to our Creator.
Here are just a few of the pictures from the trip. I meant to put together a more thorough video that included video clips and other things, but the technology isn’t cooperating tonight, so this is what I have to offer. Enjoy.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68NHXAcFSAg]
by Heather Plett | Jul 28, 2010 | Beauty, body, journey, women
Me, on a rickety old boat in India, in one of my favourite skirts
Recently, a friend (who likes to shop more than I do) gave me three large bags full of great, almost new, hand-me-down clothes. It felt like Christmas, especially since many of them look better on me than a lot of the clothes I already owned.
Because I’m a bit of a pack-rat, I didn’t have alot of room in my closet or dresser for this windfall. So last night was purge time. As best I could, I tried to be ruthless and let go of anything that a.) I hadn’t worn for awhile, or b.) didn’t really enjoy wearing even if it was recent.
The clothes I packed up for goodwill fit into three categories:
- Clothes that are too baggy because my body has changed OR because I’d convinced myself that an overweight woman like me shouldn’t wear fitted clothes.
- Clothes that used to fit me a size or two ago, that I still really like, and that I hope to fit into again some day.
- Clothes that I never really liked the look or feel of (once I had them home from the store and on my body), or that didn’t really suit my personality, but that I felt guilty about getting rid of because I’d invested money in them.
That list says a lot about the things that I hang onto:
- Old ideas about myself and how I should or shouldn’t dress or I should or shouldn’t look.
- Unrealistic ideals about what I want to look like “some day”, coupled with dissatisfaction over how I look RIGHT NOW.
- Guilt and unhelpful attachment to choices I shouldn’t have made.
- Shame over being the size I am right now and always a longing to be something different.
- Feeling that it’s wrong to want to look my very best, and that some days I should just be satisfied with boring, poorly fitted clothes.
- The sense that if I hang onto worn out, baggy, or not-quite-right clothes, I am fitting into the image I’ve painted of myself as a frugal/earthy person who doesn’t want to use up too much of the earth’s resources for her own consumption.
- The idea that I’m supposed to dress a certain way (professional/practical/conservative/not-too-loud/not-too-sexy) to fit certain roles I have in my life and to ensure I don’t offend anyone or rock the boat.
That’s a lot of baggage I’m trying to pack away in those goodwill bags. No, I’m not idealistic enough to believe that a one-time purge will allow me to shake all of those old ideas, but I have to start somewhere.
Here are some of the new ideas I’m trying to replace them with:
- It’s okay to look great, feel great, (and maybe even a little sexy!) and enjoy what I’m wearing.
- My style is somewhere in the range of eclectic/colourful/global/bohemian/wanderer/artist – and THAT’S THE WAY I DRESS!
- I am a good steward of the earth’s and my own resources AND I appreciate and value the beauty and comfort in what the earth has provided for me.
- I look good and feel good the way my body is RIGHT NOW, even if it’s far from society’s ideals.
- It’s okay to be who I am and let that shine through the clothes I put on my body.
- Old choices are in the past and I can let them go without guilt.
by Heather Plett | Jul 27, 2010 | journey
in my rearview mirror
It occured to me yesterday that my bike ride home is a pretty good metaphor for the journey we all take in our lives.
I can choose the fast track that zooms along one of the busiest streets in the city, where I have to dodge cars driven by impatient commuters trying to rush home to cook supper for their kids, cross a busy freeway where I usually have to compete with a city bus or two (full of more impatient commuters), and risk getting squeezed to the curb on a couple of bridges that are too narrow to accomodate both cars and bikes (and we all know who wins THAT tussle).
I can choose the slow zone where I meander along an out-of-the-way river pathway, cut through a park with a fountain and lots of curious squirrels, weave through various side streets that lead me on an indirect path with lots of stop signs, and duck under the freeway on a small shadowy graffiti-covered bike tunnel.
Or I can choose the mixed bag which takes me halfway home along the busy thoroughfare, and then – just when I’ve had enough of the crushing, rushing traffic – juts off into the residential area, past a golf course, and through the tunnel to my own suburban neighbourhood.
Last summer, feeling tender and vulnerable and in need of the healing energy of the river, trees, and silence, I mostly chose the slow zone.
Only occasionally, when I am feeling particularly “don’t-mess-with-me” powerful (sometimes after I’ve kicked some proverbial butt at work) do I take the fast track all the way home. When I do, I arrive home with an adrenalin rush that’s exciting but a little unsettling.
This summer, with a healthy mix of tender and strong going on, I’ve mostly been choosing the mixed bag. I enjoy the rush and challenge of the fast moving traffic that pushes me to be alert, strong and fast, but then I usually need the quiet and the trees to help me wind down and feel more relaxed when I get home to my family.
Which lane are you in these days?
