by Heather Plett | May 31, 2010 | journey, travel
Recently, Jamie Ridler expressed a desire to become a more confident traveler. And my little brain went “Bing! Now THERE’S some advice I can offer!”
I’ve been on an average of 6 business trips per year for the last dozen years – some short and some long. On business, I’ve been all over Canada, into the US a few times, to Kenya, Tanzania, Ethiopia, India, Bangladesh, and Rome. Plus I’ve backpacked around Europe, traveled to Mexico, and did lots of road trips with the family all over North America. I’ve taken planes, trains, automobiles, boats, rickshaws, bicycles – you name it – all over the world. When I traveled to Ethiopia, India, and Bangladesh, I was responsible for all of the (complicated) logistics and management of a film crew. So I guess you could say I’ve learned a thing or two about travel.
- To increase your confidence, before you leave, prepare a little travel notebook (or file folder) where you keep all of the phone numbers, addresses, back-up phone numbers, etc. of all of the people you need to meet, all of the places you’ll be staying, the airlines, etc. You never know when you’ll need to reach someone in a panic and you’ll be glad you have it all in one place. Plus if you have it in a notebook, you can add any new information you need as you travel, like – for example – the phone number of the nice cab driver who delivered you to your hotel.
- Do the research you need ahead of time to increase your confidence. Now that the internet makes it so easy, I’ve become fairly masterful at taking public transit in strange cities. Print out transit maps, find out where the nearest subway stop is to where you’re staying, find phone numbers for taxis, etc. Some airports and/or transit systems even tell you how to get from your gate to where you need to be to get transportation to your hotel. Remember: information is power – the more you know ahead of time, the less you’ll have to worry when you get there. (It’s also good to find out ahead of time what you can take onboard the plane. Your airline will have that information on its website. With security changing so often these days, you have to stay on top of the new rules.)
- Speaking of transportation, I highly recommend learning how to use public transit in the place where you’re going. It’s cheaper, often more efficient, more interesting, and you get a much better flavour for the city you’re staying in. When I was in Dallas, I found out there was a vintage trolley car that would take me to the conference centre every day for free (or next to it). It was so much fun and I met the most fascinating trolley car enthusiasts who were volunteer drivers and conductors.
- When it comes to things you feel uncomfortable with, though, take baby steps. Like public transit, for example. For the first trip, take a taxi almost everywhere, but make up your mind to take at least one subway ride. You don’t have to figure it all out at once and nobody will fault you for taking the easiest way.
- One of my favourite pieces of advice – skip the ‘big box hotels’! You know what I’m talking about – the ones lined up in a strip by the airport with about as much character as a MacDonald’s Happy Meal. Check out http://www.bedandbreakfast.com/. I have stayed in some of the most amazing apartments, old inns, character homes, etc. through bedandbreakfast.com. If you’re not thrilled about sharing a bathroom (and truthfully, it’s really not a big deal – people who tend to stay in B&B’s are usually pretty respectful, polite & clean), a lot of them have private washrooms, so don’t let that stop you. Be sure to check the comments and ratings because I’ve found them to be very accurate. The only time I was disappointed with my stay was the one time I ignored the negative comments and took a chance.
- Find people who genuinely know their city/neighbourhood and ask their advice about great restaurants, where it’s safe to walk, how to catch public transit in the area, etc. One of the best things about booking through bedandbreakfast.com is that most of these places are owned by people who truly care about their homes and about hosting people. Over breakfast, ask them about their favourite local haunts – the hole-in-the-wall restaurant no tourist would set foot in – and you will find the BEST local culture. (Twitter has also become a good resource for this – when I was headed to Chicago, I asked people about what things I shouldn’t miss in the city.)
- Bring a little comfort with you. I always travel with a portable candle (in a tin cup with a lid) and lighter in my toiletries bag. Sometimes it’s the best way to relax in the evening after a harried trip. Plus I usually travel with a light weight silk shawl that’s wonderful to wrap around my shoulders when I get a little cool and/or sleepy on the plane. And when you’re dealing with jet lag, one of your best friends may be your mp3 player – at least if you’re lying in a bed in Bangladesh in the middle of the night trying to sleep while geckos are having a conversation on your wall.
- Pack light. I made a few mistakes early on and packed way more than I needed, but now I just bring the bare essentials. You never know when your flight might be delayed and you have to run from one gate to the next. When you’ve got nothing more than a small roller bag and a backpack, you’ll be thanking me for the advice. Plus it’s a lot easier to take public transit when you’re not overloaded. I spent three weeks in Africa with a suitcase that was small enough to be a carry-on bag and I didn’t miss anything – trust me, it can be done.
- Trust people. This is a biggy. I’m not saying you should be naive and let some strange man take you home in his car (you still have to use your discretion about who’s trustworthy and who’s not), but almost every single time I decided to trust the person who was willing to take me under his/her wing and help me navigate their city turned out to be a good thing. I have only once gotten scammed by a person (and really, it was pretty harmless – he just got a little more money out of me than I should have parted with for helping me get to the market in Addis Ababa, but I was never in any danger), and on the flip side, have had some truly exceptional experiences when I’ve chosen to trust. One of my favourite travel moments was when a family in Ethiopia felt sorry for me dining alone and invited me to eat at their table. They ended up taking me out on the town to see some great Ethiopian performers.
- But even when you don’t find friendly local families, you can still have a great time alone. When I first started solo business travel, I’d order room service instead of eating alone in a restaurant. That got old pretty quickly, and I really wanted to experience more interesting food and surroundings. The first few times felt a little awkward, but now I take great pleasure in savouring a good meal alone in an interesting restaurant. If you’re uncomfortable at first, bring along a magazine, a book, or your journal to fill the time while you wait for your food, but don’t miss the opportunity to people watch and listen in on a few conversations.
- No matter how well you plan, now and then, things will fall apart. The best you can do is learn to roll with it. Sometimes the best surprises come when your plans fall apart. I flew to the other side of the world with a film crew minus a videographer (he’d jammed out at the last minute), and without a film permit or visas for India. I had to hire local videographers in both India and Bangladesh AND hope that the Indian consulate in Bangladesh would treat me better than the one in Canada had. In the end, I hired the most amazing videographers (who are both now my Facebook friends) with all kinds of local knowledge I wouldn’t have had otherwise, and my hosts helped us navigate the consulate and everything fell into place beautifully.
- To make your travel more interesting, be open to new experiences and new people. Chat with cab drivers – I’ve heard some of the most fascinating stories from them. Go for walks around the neighbourhood you’re staying in. Be an explorer! Some of the best treasures I have found have just been discovered by wandering aimlessly through a city.
Is there anything I missed that you’re dying to know? Or other tips you’d like to share?
by Heather Plett | May 27, 2010 | journey
It may sound boring, but sometimes “contentment” is the most powerful feeling in the world. Today I had the happy realization that I am content.
- I’m not restless about the future as I so often am.
- I’m pretty relaxed about letting life unfold the way it should instead of rushing into the “next big thing”.
- Considering what we’ve been through this Spring, my family is all happy and (mostly) healthy.
- After some rough spots on the path, Marcel and I have a stronger marriage than ever. We’ve both worked through some issues with a happy result.
- I have some very good relationships with my staff at work and a little investment is making them even better.
- For those times when the relationships are not-so-good, I have more courage to confront what I need to confront, and that feels good.
- I’m feeling much better about my body than I have in a long time.
- I’m loving my bike rides to and from work – they’re like a combination exercise/meditation practice at the beginning and end of my work day.
- I have an amazing week of learning, inspiration, meditation, and meeting cool people coming up at ALIA.
- I get to go sea kayaking in Nova Scotia soon. SO excited!
- There are also holidays and camping trips and beach days and barbecues to look forward to.
- I feel that I am in the space I am meant to be at the moment, and when it’s time to change, I have a sense that I will be ready for it.
I just finished reading Broken Open by Elizabeth Lesser and I can’t imagine a better book to have shown up in my life at this time. It’s about how difficult times in our lives can help us grow if we allow them to. She talks alot about the “Phoenix Process”, where we have to submit ourselves to the flame in order to eventually rise out of it a transformed being. I think I’ve been through the Phoenix Process in the last year and the flame has finally subsided.
It feels so good to be able to say “Life is Good!”
Now for the part where I rise – colourful, triumpant, and transformed – from the flame… wait for it… ’cause it’s gonna be good!
by Heather Plett | May 25, 2010 | body, journey
I am falling in love with the curvy botticelli beauty I see when I look in the mirror.
This has been a surprise for me. As I mentioned in this interview with the amazing Christine of Blisschick, I’ve never really liked mirrors. Mostly I’ve regarded them as necessary evils that help me make sure I don’t embarrass myself too much in public. I’ve never been able to celebrate what they reveal to me.
But things are changing. This morning after my refreshing post-bike-ride shower, I stood in front of the full length mirror and realized there’d been a significant shift in the way I respond to that image. I like what I see. I’m fond of my curves, my flaws, and my jiggly bits. Sure they’re not perfect, but they’re me and they’re beautiful in their own way.
The last couple of months have been quite remarkable in what they’ve revealed to me. This post was about some of that learning – how I’ve begun to recognize how separated my mind/body/soul are.
As I was processing the answers to Christine’s questions, I realized that there was still some old baggage I was carrying around – stuff that was contributing to the disconnect.
Twenty-two years ago (exactly half my life, incidentally), I was in the best shape I’ve ever been. I was training for a triathlon, in which I would do the cycling (56 miles, I believe) and other teammates would do the running and swimming. I was tanned and muscular.
Unfortunately, two days before the race, an intruder broke into my apartment during the night and raped me. It was one of the most horrible moments of my life, and I’m just now realizing what long term impact it had on me. I was determined to still participate in the triathlon, and even drove out to the town where it was held. But my neck hurt too much (from the intruder’s attempt to choke me to death) and so I had to give it up.
I did a lot of healing after that, and I was pretty sure I did all the right things to process it. I wrote like a mad woman, talked to alot of people, and even wrote a play which was produced in my university’s theatre about the experience.
But what I’m realizing now is that most of the healing I did was in my MIND and not my BODY. I didn’t really give my body sufficient space to process the hurt that she received at the hands of the rapist.
The year after the rape, I didn’t bike as much, and each year it became less and less of a priority. I immersed myself in my studies, my career, and (eventually) my life as a wife and mother. I spent a lot of energy trying to convince people I was smart and capable. I took on more and more leadership roles, and let my mind play centre stage in my life. I didn’t realize that to live fully, I’d need to give my body space once again. I buried the body hurt beneath layers of food and fat and avoidance.
About seven years ago, I started biking on a regular basis again, and was reminded of how good it feels to pedal, with the sun on my face and the wind in my hair. It was good – but it still wasn’t everything I needed to do to reclaim the body I’d left behind 22 years ago.
This Spring, new things have been surfacing, and as I mentioned in this post, I’ve read some books that have opened doors in me that I didn’t realize I’d slammed shut 22 years ago. I have become awakened to the disconnect between body, mind, and soul.
Half way through answering Christine’s interview questions, I went to my bra-burning birthday party. I had some time to kill before I got there, so I wandered along the river. Leaning against a low stone wall, I had an epiphany. These are the words my body spoke to me… “Of all of my five senses, I trust the sense of touch the least.”
I’m still processing exactly what that means, but in the meantime, I’m doing my best to change it. I’m closing my eyes and running my hands gently over rough stone walls. I’m wrapping myself in the soft silk blanket I bought a few weeks ago and noticing the way it feels against my skin. I’m welcoming my husband’s carress in a new way.
One of most important things I’m doing is feeling the touch of my fingers on my own skin in a new way. I’m spending time lathering sweet-scented lotion all over my body. I’m enjoying my shower more.
When I catch my mind whispering lies to me, like “that athletic woman on the bike that just passed is probably surprised that someone with such a large ass is riding a bike”, I reach out and touch the offended part of my body in a non-verbal apology. (Try it! You might be surprised how good it feels, even if you have to sneak a touch in public.)
It’s all been quite healing, and now I can stand to look in the mirror in a new way.
Twenty two years ago, an intruder did more than just rape my body – his actions damaged my mind/body/soul connection, made me bury a whole lot of body hurt, and shattered the trust I place in my own sense of touch.
This summer – on my bicycle, in my weekend morning runs, in the way I connect with food – I’m working on healing those broken pieces. Like the song says in my last post, “I want to live where soul meets body”.
by Heather Plett | May 23, 2010 | art, Beauty
This morning, with the sun emerging after an overnight rain, I swear my run felt more like church than many church services I’ve been at. My alive and energized body served as temple. The birds celebrating the ease of their post-rain worm harvest provided the worship music. Lilacs and other flowering trees blessed us with incense. And these three songs, showing up in this order in my random playlist, were more inspiration than I’ve heard in a lot of sermons. Take a moment to listen to them and see if you don’t feel something shift.
1. Wake me up, by Martn Joseph
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xogcnPQlDUs]
2. Polly Come Home, by Robert Plant & Alison Krauss
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZXN0KHpvUg]
3. Soul Meets Body, sung by Catie Curtis (original by Death Cab for Cutie)
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9jC2K6_ppo]
by Heather Plett | May 21, 2010 | body, journey
Body: Can you explain why you decided to force Hand and Mouth to finish that plate of food last night, even though we’d had enough to sustain us?
Mind: Well of COURSE we had to finish it. It’s not polite to leave a half-finished plate of food on the table!
Body: What do you mean it’s not polite? We were at a restaurant – they don’t care how much you eat as long as you pay the bill!
Mind: Yes, but… there were other people around. They might think we’re finicky if we don’t eat our food.
Body: Did you not notice that some of them left food on their plates?
Mind: Well I guess they’re just not as polite as we are.
Body: Or their minds actually know how to listen to their bodies! Imagine that.
Mind: No need to get snippy. I was just looking out for our best interests. After all – weren’t you sending me signals about how good it tasted?
Body: Oh yes, it tasted good, but the first few bites were good enough for enjoyment factor – you didn’t have to push right through to the end to enjoy the flavour.
Mind: You’re annoying. And hey – it was YOUR hand and mouth that were cooperating!
Body: Ummm… in case you haven’t noticed, they can’t do much without your direction.
Mind: Details, details.
Body: Maybe if you’d stopped forcing them to shovel food in at the speed of light, you would have noticed that the taste buds had dulled by the time the plate was half empty. I was TRYING to tell you it was time to stop.
Mind: Oh now you’re going to complain about how fast I eat. I can never satisfy you. I HAVE to eat fast, or She’ll catch on that you’re sending her a different message than I am and she’ll stop. That would never do.
Body: Why?
Mind: Well… don’t you remember back when we were young and we had to pile enough food on our plates so that our hungry older brothers wouldn’t take it all? I’m just trying to protect Her from the food running out.
Body: Newsflash: we’re not young anymore. AND… in the 44years we’ve been around, we’ve never run out of food, so why would we now?
Mind: You haven’t heard of the random food-snatchers who steal food from people’s plates in restaurants?
Body: Nope, never heard of them.
Mind: Well, you’d better watch out for them next time.
Body: So, what you’re telling me is that you’re eating out of fear of the food-snatchers?
Mind: You make it sound so silly. Maybe it was fear, maybe it was to help her feel better about all the sadness in her life, maybe it was because of the spiritual void – hey, I’m just trying to help!
Body: I know that, but maybe if you listened to me, we could help her together.
Mind: I doubt it. You’re always trying to get her to do stuff that’s ridiculous and tiring.
Body: Like last night after supper when I wanted to go for a bike ride and you convinced Her to lie around in front of the TV with more food?
Mind: Yeah, like that. What was up with that? Didn’t She deserve a little down time? She’d had a hard day with whiny kids and too much work pressure!
Body: Maybe you don’t realize, but that stuff she’s trying to work through? The sadness, the spiritual void? I could help her with that. A good bike ride is more spiritual than you think.
Mind: Don’t be ridiculous. She has to work that stuff out in her MIND! That’s what I’m here for.
Body: Yeah, but you try to work it out with food and mindless TV.
Mind: Blah, blah, blah. You’re getting on my nerves.
Body: Listen to me… if you don’t wise up, life could get very difficult for both of us.
Mind: Is that a threat? What are you going to do? You can’t even make your own mouth scream without my help.
Body: Oh, I have my ways of screaming without you. You know those illnesses that your smart doctors can’t figure out?
Mind: Yeah, they’re an endless source of frustration for my mind friends.
Body: Did you ever stop to think that those might be bodies trying to be heard?
Mind: Whatever! You’re not that smart without me.
Body: You might be surprised.
Mind: Okay, I’ve had about enough of this conversation. I’m putting us to sleep so I don’t have to think of this any more.
Note: If you want to know more about the ongoing conversation between my body and my mind, I have related posts up at Blisschick and Square Peg Reflections.
