by Heather Plett | Jan 20, 2010 | Uncategorized
Sometimes parenting wrenches your heart right out of your chest,
tosses it on the floor and stomps on it.
Sometimes you have to sit in the bathroom holding your daughter
and listening to her sob for half an hour
all the while knowing you can’t do a damn thing to FIX IT.
Sometimes those beautiful children who own a big piece of your heart
bottle stuff up forever and then one day it’s released
in a sudden outburst that results in a hotdog flying across the room.
Sometimes you have to live through the cruelties of life vicariously through your children
and sometimes that second-hand pain is almost worse
than if it were happening to you directly.
Sometimes you feel the weight of realization that you are the only safe place
where their deepest fears and troubled emotions can be unleashed.
And then sometimes you go to bed worrying about your beautiful daughter,
and through the basement floor you hear her humming along with her ipod,
a sure sign that the tears in the bathroom were just right for helping her carry on.
And sometimes you know that the best you can hope for is “carrying on”.
by Heather Plett | Jan 19, 2010 | Leadership
It was day one of the staff retreat. The day that my team was meeting under my leadership. Staff and volunteers had come from across the country and I had to lead them, inspire them, and encourage them. The trouble was, I wasn’t feeling very inspired myself. I was just feeling…. well, kinda blah. Low energy and low motivation.
Halfway through the day we took a break. It was a beautiful day and we were close to the woods and the river, so I went for a walk. Near the Red River, in the middle of a small wooded area, I spotted the largest tree I have ever seen in this province. It would have taken about 4 people with their arms fully spread to make a circle around that tree.
I spread my arms as far as I could reach and leaned against that big solid tree, my face pressed up against the rough bark. I stayed there for a few minutes, just leaning. Borrowing energy from a tree that had stood through more than a hundred prairie winters and a myriad of floods, storms, and pestulance. Soaking up inspiration from a life-force that had born witness to endless human and animal stories. Finding encouragement in this remarkable source of oxygen, shade and beauty. All the while, thanking the Creator for this love-song shaped like a tree.
Refreshed, I returned to my meeting.
by Heather Plett | Jan 18, 2010 | Uncategorized
Today, after 5 days away from my computer, I came back to an in-box packed full of inquiries about Haiti. Many wanted to know if we will be doing any food programming there (the answer is yes – feel free to support), but most wanted to know if M & J are safe.
This past summer, two of my staff resigned from their positions, and for completely different reasons, both moved to Haiti. J is working in a fairly remote area, providing administrative support for a clinic. M is doing contract work with NGOs in Port-au-Prince.
J reports that, though they felt the quake, they were not significantly impacted. They will, however, be providing some medical support from their clinic, so she will be working hard in the coming weeks.
I haven’t heard anything directly from M, but through the NGO grapevine, I’ve heard that she is safe and that her home was not destroyed.
Though I’ve never been to Haiti, I feel quite connected to it through many friends and colleagues who have lived there or are currently living there. This disaster seems so unfathomable that there really are no words to express it.
That’s about all I have to say right now, because at this time, this is one of the only things on my mind.
by Heather Plett | Jan 12, 2010 | art, Creativity
Last night I started my drawing class. At the Winnipeg Art Gallery, no less – a place for SERIOUS artists. (My last class was through the local community centre, so this is me “kickin’ it up a notch!”) I’m so excited. My teacher is just the right mix of down-to-earth, approachable, relaxed, wise, and seriously talented. I know I’m going to enjoy soaking in her wisdom. We spent last night learning about shading with cross-hatching and smudged charcoal – playing with light.
This is what I wrote in my journal on the bus ride home. “My first drawing class is over. Loved it! Oh yes I did! Teacher, looking over my shoulder, said ‘you have a great sense of light!’ Woohoo! Light! I am elated! Let the light shine on me! And may I recognize the value of the shadows for the way they bring out the light.”
Yup, I was just like Maddie coming home from her art class – silly and imaginative and just plain giddy. I didn’t tell goofy stories like she does (not sure my bus-mates would have appreciated it), but I’m sure I was grinning all the way home.
This morning, in honour of my desire to “bask in pleasure” just like a kid, I want to share a blessing from one of my favourite books:
For the Artist at the Start of Day
May morning be astir with the harvest of night;
Your mind quickening to the eros of a new question,
Your eyes seduced by some unintended glimpse
That cut right through the surface to a source.
May this be a morning of innocent beginning,
When the gift within you slips clear
Of the sticky web of the personal
With its hurt and its hauntings,
And fixed fortress corners,
A Morning when you become a pure vessel
For what wants to ascend from silence,
May your imagination know
The grace of perfect danger,
To reach beyond imitation,
And the wheel of repetition,
Deep into the call of all
The unfinished and unsolved
Until the veil of the unknown yields
And something original begins
To stir toward your senses
And grow stronger in your heart
In order to come to birth
In a clean line of form,
That claims from time
A rhythm not yet heard,
That calls space to
A different shape.
May it be its own force field
And dwell uniquely
Between the heart and the light
To surprise the hungry eye
By how deftly it fits
About its secret loss.
~ John O’Donohue ~
by Heather Plett | Jan 11, 2010 | random
1. My oldest daughter is insane. She LOVES to go to the gym, LOVES to run on the treadmill, and WILLINGLY got up at 5:45 this morning to drag me out of bed and drag me to the gym. She finally has the doctor’s okay to start running again (since her knee surgery in September), and is doing everything in her power to convince me running is FUN. Yeesh.
2. I may have to admit that my eye-sight is not quite what it used to be. Gulp. Everybody warned me that it would start to deteriorate after 40, but I refused to believe them since I’ve happily lived without glasses all of my life. But last night… darn it all… I could barely focus on those nearly invisible stitches I was trying to rip out to replace a zipper. I have the injuries on my finger to prove it. Aargh.
3. Tonight I start a drawing class at the Winnipeg Art Gallery. I’ve got a healthy mix of excitement and nervousness. More excited than nervous this time around, but this feels like SERIOUS art instruction instead of just the community centre stuff I did last time around. Yikes! Who am I trying to kid?
4. Speaking of art classes, Maddie started hers on Saturday, and oh my gosh that girl is fun to have in the car on the way home from art classes. (And swimming classes too, for that matter.) She gets really silly when she’s happy and her imagination goes wild when she’s gotten positive energy from something she loves. I think we grown-ups have gotten a little too good at stifling that kind of thing to the point where we often don’t even recognize what gives us true pleasure. We can learn some things from Maddie about basking in pleasure.
5. Since I mentioned the other two daughters, I should mention Julie too. It appears she has inherited two of my characteristics – perfectionism (when it comes to projects, anyway), and procrastination. Not a great combination when you have a big creative project due on Monday and want to get some actual sleep on Sunday night, but boy-oh-boy does she have a nice project to hand in this morning!
6. I’ll be spending most of this week at a staff retreat. If you’ve been here for awhile, you might remember last year’s retreat. This year will be significantly different, because we have a lot of new staff on the team. None-the-less, I’ve got some fairly big challenges that make me feel a little queasy about the whole thing. I may have to wear my colourful jacket again for fortification.
7. After the retreat comes the fun stuff – a weekend at a soccer tournament in the States. I wish I could just jump to the fun stuff where I get to hang out with my family in a hotel and help my daughters spend the money they’ve been earning by trudging through the neighbourhood delivering flyers.
8. I have one of those plants in my office that I only know of as a “mother-in-law’s tongue”. A rather horrible name, I know (especially since my mother-in-law’s tongue is anything but sharp), but I don’t know the proper name. (I just looked it up on wikipedia and it’s also known as the “snake plant”.) It has one really tall leaf that is shooting toward the sky. It seems like it’s trying to serve as a metaphor similar to the “tall poppy” where people dare to stand above the crowd even when they might be shot down for it.
9. I have a grinning plastic monkey on my desk by my computer (from my friend Kelly from back in the days when we were trying to avoid using the word “monkey” in communications plans because the lab we were working at was beginning to do experiments on “non-human-primates” – ah yes, we were spin doctors!). For some reason, that monkey is making me smile this morning. Thanks Kelly.
10. Nine doesn’t seem like the right number to end on, so I’m adding this point just so I can end on an even number. I have nothing more to say.
