by Heather Plett | Feb 21, 2011 | change, Passion, practice
As my children will attest, some days it takes only a minor stimulus to illicit a rant from me. Today it was this booklet that made its way to the top of our piano – How to Get Good Grades, in Ten Easy Steps.
Easy? Really?
Now, let’s be honest, if you’re not academically inclined, there is nothing easy about getting good grades. And if you ARE academically inclined, well then you wouldn’t be picking up this little booklet, would you?
Do you think the publishers of this book are doing the students any good by putting the word “easy” in the title? I don’t think so. You’re not going to fool a kid who’s ready to give up on school by telling them there’s an easy fix. If they’ve failed a few courses and their self esteem is in the toilet because of it, setting them up for one more failure by calling it “easy” is just cruel rather than helpful.
And here comes the rant…
Most of the things in life that are worth their weight in gold are most definitely NOT going to be easy.
Let’s stop trying to pretend they are. Let’s stop trying to sell ourselves on the idea that there’s such a thing as “easy weight loss” or “easy relationship fixes” or “easy steps to physical fitness”. Let’s toss “ten easy steps” out the window for once and for all, shall we?
The marketers who are selling you those easy fixes? They’re lying to you.
Good things take work. And practice. And perseverance. And blood, sweat, and tears.
My oldest daughter was struggling through her first high school math class last term. After a disappointing start, she was determined to improve her grade. After weeks of studying, extra homework, meeting with the teacher, re-doing her homework, and studying some more, she did just that – improve her grade. Was it easy? Not a chance.
Several years ago, my husband decided that, after 22 years in the transportation industry, he wanted to become a teacher. He’d never even finished high school, and yet he had this dream. Five and a half years later, he had two university degrees and a teacher’s certificate. There was very little about that journey that was easy, not even for those of us who supported him through it. But was it worth it? Of course!
I’m in the midst of becoming a runner. This morning I was very proud of the fact that I ran six miles. That accomplishment couldn’t have happened, though, without nine months of practicing and sweating and hurting and practicing some more. Yes I may love it and want to keep doing it, but… easy? Not one minute of it.
I am also writing a book. Sure there may be some days when the writing flows and it feels like it requires no more effort than breathing, but there are other days I feel like l’m slitting open a vein and letting the blood pour. And even those pages that showed up without much effort will still require hours of editing and rewriting and agonizing before they’re ready for prime time. Nope, nothing easy about that either. I want it more than almost anything else in the world, though, so I’ll stick with it.
Anyone who’s developed a meditation practice or yoga practice or dance practice or any other kind of practice can tell you that it requires years of dragging yourself to the mat or cushion or floor, working through heaps of resistance and pain, and persevering through all of those times when it just feels like nothing is happening. Easy? No way. Worth it? Oh yes.
Anyone who’s worked through depression or eating disorders or anxiety disorders or mental illness of any kind will tell you there’s nothing easy about that either. Worth it when you’ve worked through to the other side? Yes. But easy? Don’t ever insult them by implying that it is.
Anyone who has committed themselves to social change – protestors in Tahrir Square, people committed to peace and justice working in Darfur, front-line workers in poverty-stricken neighbourhoods all over the world – will tell you that it’s terrifying and hard and discouraging and only occasionally exhilarating, but easy? Never.
You get my point. Growing, learning, changing, improving, transforming – all of those things take years of effort and pain and frustration and surrender and practice and agony.
Sure, there are things that fall within your gifts that might feel easy from time to time (eg. I once had an article published in the Globe and Mail that took no more than 15 minutes to write and not a single edit), but perfecting anything – even if it comes naturally – is hard work. Just ask any Olympic athlete or world class musician.
Let’s stop trying to fool ourselves. It’s not going to be easy.
Worth it? Most definitely. But easy? Not a chance.
by Heather Plett | Feb 19, 2011 | Leadership, Uncategorized
“What makes you cry?”
That was one of the questions I posed to the participants of a leadership workshop I facilitated last week. We were talking about our values and how we as leaders model those values. It was part of a series of questions meant to help them clarify their own personal values.
Tears connect us to the deep places in our hearts where we guard those things that are most important to us. Tears emerge out of love and hurt and beauty and pain – all of those strings that attach us to our deepest values.
“What made me cry this week? The story emerging out of Egypt,” I said. “I don’t know when a news story has had such an emotional impact on me.”
It’s true. I cried. Along with so many other people. (In fact, when I tweeted about my tears, several others chimed in that they too were crying.) I cried, and cheered, and laughed, and even returned a thumbs up sign to a man in Tahrir Square who grinned into my TV screen.
How was the story of Egypt connected to my values? In SO many ways…
– I value courage.
– I value human rights.
– I value collaboration.
– I value women working with men, old working with young, Muslims working with Christians.
– I value peaceful resolutions and positive alternatives to oppression and violence.
– I value people who place the common good ahead of their own comfort.
– I value independent voices, willing to rise up and say “This must change.”
What do you value? What makes you cry?
Don’t ever be ashamed of the things that make you cry. They are the things that make you human. They are the things that make you strong. They are the things that help you step into leadership.
by Heather Plett | Feb 17, 2011 | Uncategorized
Part of me wants to give you a play-by-play of all the wonderful things I did and thought and saw and wrote while I was away on my solitary retreat. That part of me wants to shout it from the rooftops so that you too will realize how wonderful and truly life-giving a silent retreat can be.
But there’s another part of me that wants to hold it tenderly to my chest and guard it like a precious baby freshly emerged from my mother-womb.
This post is about the halfway place.
Here are a few things I’ll share with you:
– I love, love, LOVE St. Ben’s, the place where I usually go for retreats, only a half hour from my house. I didn’t know how much I loved it until I was there once again. It’s not a particularly beautiful place. The rooms are plain and ordinary and there’s not a big budget for the extras that make some retreat centres splashy. But it’s located on beautiful grounds by the river, and even in the winter someone lovingly clears the paths through the woods for contemplative wanderers like me. And there’s an art room and a friendly little kitchen and a library and staff and nuns who know how to stay out of your way and just let you find a peaceful centre.
– I realized this week that one of the things I love about St. Ben’s is that it is a celebration of the feminine divine. It’s run by a Benedictine order of nuns, and everywhere you look there are images, sculptures, and books reminding you of the presence of the feminine divine. Even the crucifix in the garden is surrounded by the three women who (unlike the men) didn’t abandon Christ in his agony. I felt like I was being held in a safe womb, carried through time and place by the stories of women who’d held space for me to emerge.
– One of the places I was most surprised to have an encounter with the feminine divine was, ironically, the chapel. (I know it sounds odd, but often I think churches are the hardest places to find God, especially the feminine manifestation.) I only joined the nuns once for midday prayer, but when I sat there surrounded by silver-haired nuns in silent and shared prayer, tears welled up in my eyes at the beauty of the feminine wisdom in the room.
– Although I was on retreat primarily to get some focused writing done on my book, the first night there I was quite intentional about not writing yet, but instead clearing the space for the writing to emerge. Just down the hall from my room was an art room, which I took full advantage of and the painting below emerged. At first I thought it was just a compilation of some of the thoughts going on in my head, but then, after looking at it for a few days while I was writing, I realized that it is really a visual representation of what is emerging in my book.
– One of the other things I love about St. Ben’s is the library which was also just down the hall from my room. There are books there that are rarely available anywhere else, and the delightful thing is that I think there are more books on the feminine divine than the masculine. Not that we don’t need both kinds of books, but it’s just nice to see the balance shifted the other way once in awhile.
– I did so much writing that I surprised myself. About 40 pages emerged over the course of three days. I felt so closely connected with what was showing up on the page, that there were moments when I wept.
– Speaking of what showed up on the page, this book is turning out to be even more deeply spiritual than I expected. Perhaps it was the setting, or perhaps it was just what was ready to show up.
– If you haven’t gone on retreat before, what are you waiting for? Go! Even if it’s just for a day! (St. Ben’s will give you access to a room for a day and serve you lunch for around $20.)
by Heather Plett | Feb 14, 2011 | Uncategorized
I have seen love on the face of an Indian professor who gives up every vacation and nearly every weekend to travel by boat to the remote Sundarban Islands where he works to improve the lives of impoverished people.
I have seen love in the eyes of an Ethiopian woman who leaves her family and comfortable city living to help a nomadic tribe get access to water.
I have seen love in the face of a bold Kenyan woman who worked until the day she died, helping her fellow Africans develop sustainable agriculture practices, and who dared to tell North Americans that they should stop trying to fix Africa.
I have seen love at the funeral of an elderly man who left behind an incredible legacy for his family, having volunteered at over one hundred organizations in his lifetime.
I have seen love in the day to day commitment of a friend who listens deeply to the stories of the marginalized of our city, and works to create a safe place for them to be.
I have seen love in the determined set of the jaw of a passionate young man in a village in India who risks his life to rescue young girls sold into sex slavery.
Love is not just a romantic sentiment reserved for Valentine’s cards. Love is action. Love is risk. Love is blood, sweat, and tears. Love is sacrifice.
Love dares to hope, dares to get involve, dares to be vulnerable, dares to surrender.
Love gives up the need to be right, sacrifices the need to be powerful, and surrenders to the needs of us all.
Love shows up in Tahrir Square.
Love lifts a ladle in the soup kitchen.
Love does the laundry and gets up in the middle of the night.
Love goes to the hospital.
Love doesn’t give up on people when they’ve hit rock bottom.
“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (I Cor. 13)
Don’t talk to me of sentimental love. Give me REAL love.
* * *
For more on love, visit the Love Sparks Blogging Festival.
And be sure to check out the party (with giveaways!) at Dirty Footprints Studio (where I’ll be part of an upcoming Art Journaling workshop.)
by Heather Plett | Feb 12, 2011 | Joy, Uncategorized
– Another successful teaching session over. My students are awesome. Really. I’ve grown quite attached to them. They helped the teacher in me emerge.
– A two week break before I start teaching another session (with the same students).
– Lots of time to WRITE in the next two weeks.
– Lunch with my dear friend Jo-Anne. We have some of the BEST conversations.
– A really great book.
– Egypt. Oh my gosh. I don’t know when I’ve been so moved by a news story. It just makes a dreamer like me believe in possibilities all over again. We CAN change the world. Together.
– A really exciting possibility that is opening up that will involve travel AND interviewing some amazing people AND going to one of my favourite learning places to be inspired and challenged. Stay tuned.
– A leadership workshop I get to facilitate this afternoon. And the bonus point is the fact that I’ve done it before so the prep time is minimal.
– Writing retreat! Just me, my laptop, my journal and a pen hanging out in a Catholic retreat centre for a few days. No internet, no phones, no obligations. Just a commitment to follow the muse and WRITE!
– This video of my adorable 2 year old nephew reading “We’re going on a Bear Hunt”!
