Most people, when they know they have a dentist appointment in half an hour, stop to brush and floss their teeth.
But not me – oh no, not I. I stopped to pop a chocolate in my mouth on the way out the door.
Why? Oh, mostly absent-mindedness, I suppose. But maybe I figured if I’m gonna sit there and listen to them scold me for not flossing, I might as well have a sweet taste in my mouth to go with the bitter taste of guilt.
Call it “the muse”. Call it “the writing that has a mind of its own”. When you’re a writer, and you know that you must write to have any kind of life or sanity at all, you satisfy the muse in any way you can. You feed it bits of yourself, and, like someone once said, occasionally you sit down at the page, open up a vein, and let the blood flow.
Sometimes there are experiences we have that we just KNOW have to be written about (or painted, or danced – whichever art the muse demands of you). Sometimes it’s enough to write about it in your journal, but other times the journal is not big enough for what needs to be said.
I’ve been fighting with the muse lately. It’s asking for more of me than I want to give. It’s hard to explain, but there are pieces of me that are still well secured behind closet doors and I don’t want to let them out. But there’s a faint clawing at the doors of that closet lately, and I’m afraid I must open it soon.
I know this post doesn’t make much sense, but I felt like writing it anyway. Sometimes it’s easy to write, when you can hold the words at arm’s length and pretend they are only lightly attached to who you are. Other times, it’s wretchedly painful, when the words tear open your soul and reveal all the dark places you’ve kept hidden.
I’ve started writing a piece that is the hardest thing I have ever written. It’s about an intensely personal and painful experience, and I have no idea if it will ever surface. For some reason, I need to write it. So far, it’s called “My Trip to Crazy Town”, and by that title, some of you who know me fairly intimately may know about the day the title references. It seems the muse won’t let me shake the need to let this surface.
Feel free to ignore this post until I make more sense again.
This is our latest aquisition – Maddie’s tag-along-bike. She is SO proud! When we got to church on Sunday morning, she had to show it off to anyone who would stop to look.
There’s an incredible scene in American Beauty, when Ricky Fitts is showing the girl (can’t remember her name) the video of a plastic bag floating in the breeze. He says, as his eyes fill with tears, “Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world I feel like I can’t take it, like my heart’s going to cave in.” That’s how I felt this weekend on the numerous occasions when we went out for family bike rides. Pedalling my bike behind my husband and three daughters on a perfect spring day felt almost overwhelmingly beautiful – so beautiful I felt my heart would cave in.
It’s hard to describe when you have a moment in time that feels as close to perfection as you can imagine. The sun shining, the warm Spring air, the man that you love ahead of you, Maddie saying hello to people on the sidewalk as she bounces along behind her dad, Nikki racing to try to beat her dad, Julie’s earnest look on her face as she pours her heart into pedaling… it’s almost more than the heart can take. We biked a couple of times to St. Vital park, watched the sun begin to set on the overflowing river, tossed breadcrumbs to the ducks on the duck pond, climbed the rocks – basically had an amazing time.
My life is full, and I am happy. May I live to see many more bike rides with my family.
I know I’m a little slow on the up-take, but Gina infected me with the Indie Virus, and unless I pass it on, I’ll be stuck with this pesky bug forever.
You see, Pearsonified has started a small, casual social experiment, it’s called “The Indie Virus.” Here’s how Pearsonified describes this experiment: The experiment, henceforth referred to as “The Indie Virus,” has two goals:
1) To bring exposure to lesser known blogs (especially those outside of Technorati’s top 100);
2) To explore the metrics behind a viral linking campaign launched by the ‘little guys’ (less popular blogs).
Part of the reason it took me this long was because I couldn’t decided whether to give the nod to the people who inhabit BOTH my blog world and my non-blog world (like ccap, ap, linda, or michele) or those whom I’ve met through blogs. Because I didn’t want to appear too biased (sorry family and friends), I chose the latter. So here are my pics…
1. Anvilcloud over at Raindrops was one of my first blog friends, so I remain loyal to him. But it also helps that he’s entertaining, interesting, funny AND a good photographer. I’m also rather fond of his wife Cuppa, who exudes warmth and comfort. (I only wish she’d post more often 🙂
2. Stephanie at Creature Bug not only has one of the most beautiful sites I visit on a regular basis (she’s got a great masthead that she changes fairly regularly), she’s also one of those people that I’m POSITIVE I would click with if I met her in person. She has similar interests, similar values, and she’s an entertaining and thoughtful writer.
3. Dale at Musings from Mimico is one of the most genuine people I’ve met in blogland. He’s incredibly honest – letting you into all the parts of his world, not just the pretty bits. I love his vulnerability, his ability to enjoy simple pleasures, and his kindness. Dale is also one of the most faithful and encouraging commenters, and I love him for that.
If Gina hadn’t been the one who’d passed this to me, than she’d be on my list too, ‘cause she’s definitely one of my favourites too.
Now run along, pay them a visit, and tell them Heather sent you 🙂
Remember my rant about women’s magazines? Well, it turns out 2 women in Saskatchewan read my mind, because they’ve started a magazine that sounds EXACTLY like the one I said I’d start. Even the title sounds refreshingly original… Cahoots.
This is what they say in their submission guidelines…
Please DO NOT send us:
Empty, regurgitated pieces about losing weight, pleasing men in bed, finding a man, makeovers, 7 steps to happiness, fashion that is priced way over anything an average woman’s income will allow…we know you know what we mean.
Sounds just about perfect, doesn’t it? I read the first issue cover to cover, and they live up to their claims, and my expectations – including a beautiful piece of artwork on the front cover. 🙂 Colour me impressed! Now if only I could find it in airport kiosks!
Twenty-six years ago, Marcel dropped out of school without a high school education. He thought he’d drive truck for the rest of his life.
Eleven years ago, when he realized he wanted more out of life than driving a truck forever, he went for some upgrading and got his GED (grade 12 equivalency). Around the same time, he got his first office job.
Three and a half years ago, he quit his job. Much to the surprise of everyone around him – especially his trucking buddies – he enrolled in university. It took incredible courage to do so.
Yesterday, he finished his last exam, completing enough credit hours to earn him a Bachelor of Arts degree in History and Political Science.
In a couple of months, he’ll wear a cap and gown – for the first time in his life. At the age of 41. Next year, if he gets in, he’ll start his second degree so that he can teach High School. Imagine the irony – a high school dropout becomes a high school teacher.
I couldn’t be more proud of him than I am now. Not only did he complete his first degree, he did it with pretty impressive marks too. He is so much smarter than he ever gives himself credit for. And he’ll be a GREAT teacher.