by Heather Plett | Sep 13, 2005 | Uncategorized
Sometimes an already bad idea just gets worse in the execution.
The newspaper said that “Herbie: Fully Loaded” started at 7:35 at the cheap theatres. Or at least that’s the way Julie read it. When we arrived at the theatre at 7:34, we discovered that it actually started at 6:35. That should have been my first clue that we would have been better off going home. But no, the girls were pumped about seeing a movie, and I didn’t feel like putting up with three disappointed kids moping at home, so we looked for an alternative. The only possibility was Bad News Bears – it had started 15 minutes earlier, so we’d probably only miss the trailers. Why not? I still remember the original when I was a kid – harmless fun, a good moral, and a feel good ending. What could be wrong with THAT?
Big mistake. BIG mistake. I should have recognized the mistake the moment we walked into the theatre and heard the first string of obscenities out of Billy Bob Thornton’s mouth. I should have run for the hills and taken the kids with me. But NO-oh, I’m too much of a wimp to put up with the protestations of three unhappy children. Silly me.
I can only say – WHAT THE HECK WERE THEY THINKING when they made this movie? Just WHO were they catering to – some sorely mistaken grown-ups who thought a grown-up version of a childhood classic might be fun? I don’t think I’ve heard that much swearing since the last Lethal Weapon movie! Billy Bob played the coach, a washed-up, drunk, former ball player turned rat exterminator, and if a sentence out of his mouth didn’t contain the word “hell” than it was sure to contain “shit” or “damn”. (Here’s a classic line – “You guys look like the last shit I took.”) And thrown in between those words was a healthy smattering of “ass” and “tits”. Not just the WORD tits, but the real thing, just barely covered in string bikinis – particularly in the scene where he takes the team to HOOTERS! And then there was the fact that the team was sponsored by a strip club – “Bo-peeps”. And if Billy Bob had been the ONLY one swearing, it would have been one thing, but I really don’t need to watch a bunch of pre-teens using that kind of language when I’m sitting there with my kids! Then there was the final scene – Billy Bob handing out non-alcoholic beer to everyone on the team. ‘Cause, ya know, everyone needs to hear a three-year-old proclaim, at the top of her voice, “Mom – those kids are drinking BEER!”
I’m really not a prude, but there was just no POINT to that movie. It certainly wasn’t meant for young children, and I really can’t see the redeeming quality for adults either.
You know it’s a shining moment when your nine-year-old daughter comes out of the theatre and says “Hey mom – I learned a new swear word. Shit bucket!”
Oh, and the next time I suggest that taking a three-year-old to a movie – especially a three year old with the attention span of a bored mosquito and the belief that multiple visits to the washroom is a good cure for boredom – somebody PLEASE give me a smack up-side the head!
I later found out that on one of those multiple trips to take Maddie to the washroom (she LOVED the little kids’ toilet, and I’ve learned better than to take a chance when she says she has to pee, so I gritted my teeth and took her each time she asked) that while I was out of the theatre, Billy Bob hopped into the sack with one of the team moms. (Apparently, you don’t see anything, but it was obvious enough for a nine-year-old to know what was going on. She almost whispered, when she told me – somewhat guiltily – that they had “S-E-X”.) If I HAD been in the theatre at that moment, and didn’t just hear about it on the ride home, that would have been the moment I would have hauled all three of them OUT of that theatre, despite the moans and groans I would have had to endure.
The moral of the story? Well, I guess it was that sometimes, even washed up drunks can inspire a losing team to almost victory. What my kids learned? Well, that drinking alchohol after a game is fun and rewarding, that “shit bucket” is a good swear word, that over-sexed groupies hang out with washed-up drunk former ball players, and that flipping people the finger is a good way to work out your aggression.
Oh yeah, it was a stellar night. Shoulda stayed home and washed the dishes.
by Heather Plett | Sep 12, 2005 | Uncategorized
What I SHOULD be doing tonight:
– cleaning out another closet
– doing the supper dishes
– sewing the skirts I promised the girls months ago
– having a quiet evening, because Monday nights are always a little wacky, with everyone getting re-adjusted to the schedule
What I definitely SHOULDN’T be doing tonight:
– taking the girls to see a movie
– letting the girls get to bed later than their bedtime
Umm… I gotta run now… movie starts in 25 minutes. (Nobody said I was a responsible mother!)
by Heather Plett | Sep 9, 2005 | Uncategorized
About 20 years ago, when I was a starving student (yikes! has it REALLY been that long?), I received an incredible gift. Some people who barely knew me gave me $500. Why? They didn’t know how badly I needed the money at the time, but because they believed in education and felt compelled to share what they had been blessed with, they extended their generosity to me. The money was mine to keep and use as I saw fit. It wasn’t a loan – they didn’t want it back. Their only stipulation was that some day, when I felt financially able to, I would extend the same generosity to someone else in need.
I’ve been “paying it forward” ever since. Now and then, when I (or I should say “we” since Marcel and I are a team now) have an opportunity and the means to extend some measure of generosity, I do so, always with the memory of that gift to me in my mind. The first time, I sent an underprivileged child of a friend of my Mother’s to camp. Other times, we’ve slipped $100 bills into the mailbox of someone we know who needs a hand up at the time. We almost always do it anonymously, but we usually include a note encouraging the people to pay it forward. It’s a lot of fun that way, and it saves the people the embarrassment of having to acknowledge their need and show appreciation.
One of my favourite times was when my brother and sister-in-law had a substantial repair bill on their van that they weren’t sure how they could pay. We sent the money to the mechanic and asked him to keep our secret when they came to pick up the van. Unfortunately, my mother later spilled the beans and told them who’d done it, but it was fun being anonymous for awhile.
It’s become rather addictive, this anonymous goodwill. By now, I’ve far surpassed the original gift I received, but I’m not about to give up a good (not to mention FUN) habit. We have a little extra money right now, so we’re doing it again this weekend. But I’m not going to tell you who the recipient will be!
It occurred to me this morning that I really should write a letter to the people who gave me the original gift. I think they’d be happy to hear how much their generosity has multiplied in these 20 years.
by Heather Plett | Sep 9, 2005 | Uncategorized
Yup, the kids are back at school. Today was the first day. Maddie was QUITE determined that she was going to school too, so she packed her lunch and lined up for the pictures 🙂
In case you’re thinking I colour coordinated them for the big day, nope, it was actually my Mother who bought them all those fancy duds. She’s so good to them.
by Heather Plett | Sep 8, 2005 | Uncategorized
How far behind do you have to be that you can spend four days cleaning your house and STILL feel like you have a way to go to get caught up?
Yeesh! Our house has gotten frightfully out of control lately. You know that feeling (or perhaps you’re one of those annoying ORGANIZED people, in which case you DON’T know and you shouldn’t be reading this blog because I probably wouldn’t like you!) when you look around at the mess, and it’s gone so far past the point of manageability that you just throw up your hands and walk away? Yeah, that’s been me lately. It just seemed so much easier to avoid the house (go for a bike ride, go camping, visit friends, whatever it took) than attempt to put it back into order.
But the mess was starting to get to me, and I could avoid it no longer, so I finally tackled the monster. First it was the basement (and sadly, that was over a week ago, so it’s already beginning to revert back to its former state), then on the weekend I thoroughly cleaned out three of the bedrooms and bathroom. Yesterday, I was off work, so I finished the last bedroom. (Yes, the residents of each bedroom were required to help with their rooms – Mom’s not a SLAVE after all!) Here’s hoping I can keep up the momentum to finish the living room and kitchen (not as seriously out of control as the other rooms – we usually try to keep those reasonably presentable in case of guests). Oh – and the laundry room, which is probably the most frightening. I’m a little afraid I’ll lose momentum and the rooms I already cleaned will get messy again before I can finish the final spaces.
It’s been hard work, but it’s been good for me too. With my long term goal of having less clutter and less attachment to “things”, I’ve managed to cull quite a bit and have filled numerous bags for goodwill donations. That process isn’t over yet (I suspect it will never fully be over), but I’m trying to institute some new rules in the house. No one can bring in anything new – clothes, toys, shoes, (notice I didn’t say books, because that would cause me some SERIOUS heartache) without getting rid of something else to make room for it. And no one can have more clothes than can easily fit into their dressers and closets. Our girls get alot of hand-me-downs, which I am SO grateful for, but it often means they have too many clothes and thus I never get all the laundry put away because I have to fight to make room for all of it. That’s GOTTA end.
And I hereby vow to address my packrat tendencies – I will not keep anything unless I KNOW I will have some use for it within at least a year (okay, maybe I’ll allow myself at least a FEW sentimental attachments – like that bottle of Old Spice that still smells like my Dad on Sunday mornings).
Spring cleaning came a little late to our house, but it’s in full swing now. Now if only everyone would cooperate and help me KEEP it clean!
(By the way, if you’re wondering where Marcel was in all of this cleaning frenzy, he’s been doing a GREAT job of fixing things up outside. He built a new brick sidewalk beside the house, put up some landscape ties along the side of the driveway, built a wooden box for the garbage cans, brought in new topsoil, and planted grass. Between all that and the new paint job I’ve almost finished on the trim, our place is beginning to look downright smashing! Next year’s project – a new deck for the backyard.)
by Heather Plett | Sep 7, 2005 | Uncategorized
There’s an eery silence in parts of the blogosphere these days. Many of the sites I visit regularly seemed dumbfounded – at a complete loss for words. This site is no different. We just don’t know what to say. I start sentences, but they dangle in the air unfinished. I have started several posts in my mind, but none of them seem adequate. Some people, like me, are writing faltering attempts to try to wrap words around this terrible, terrible tragedy. I appreciate their attempts – they’re helping me process it too.
What do we say when we see hundreds of people who fought to survive an angry brutal storm, now dying because help has not come soon enough? What do we say when we see images of people stranded on rooftops, waving tattered rags, hoping someone will choose to rescue them instead of the people on the next rooftop? What do we say about the looting, the murders, the rapes? How do we respond to the poor and destitute that could not leave their homes and now must lay their heads on cots in a stadium meant for football games and not lodging?
I have no idea what to say. In my mind I say so many things. That it’s a shame they weren’t more prepared. That it’s pitiful that it took so long for the rescuers to come. That this kind of thing shouldn’t happen in the world’s richest country. I ask the same questions everyone else is asking. Could it have been avoided if they’d spent the money on the levees instead of waging war on Iraq? Did it take them longer to bring in aid because the people are predominately black? Would it be any different if the storm hit our city? Would I have the guts to open my home to some of the thousands of people left without homes and without jobs?
Today I saw 2 pictures of the inside of the Astrodome. One was of a young mother with a thirteen day old baby – she was talking on a cell phone trying to put the pieces of her life back together in some semblance of normalcy. Another was a picture of rows and rows of cots covering the floor of the stadium. In the centre of the picture, barely visible, were 2 small children, not unlike my own children except for the colour of their skin. They sat perched on those harsh-looking cots, staring at the camera with expressionless faces. I don’t know what their life was like before Katrina came to visit, but now it consists of no more than a few feet of space in the centre of thousands of other scared and lonely people.
My children are safe in bed tonight. They are not sitting perched on a cot in the middle of a stadium. They each have their own beds with their own special blankets that their Grandma made for them. Is that fair? No, I can’t find any kind of fairness in that. I don’t know why my daughters are here and someone else’s are there. I don’t know why I still have a house and a bed and a job and a city to live in. I don’t understand any of this.
Some people are chosing to pray their way through this, others are railing against a God they can’t respect or trust in the middle of such tragedy. I’ve done some of both. I’m also trying to find a way to contribute. No, I haven’t made a donation to the Red Cross. Perhaps I should, but what I’m chosing to do instead is to help some of the poor people in my own city. Because I know that if a hurricane or ice storm or flood hit us, there would be lots of people here who wouldn’t be able to get out in time either. My contribution probably won’t help them buy a car to escape if tragedy hits, but perhaps it will at least help someone pay the rent this month, so that they still have a place to shelter their child.
And in the end, all I can say is…God help us.
