by Heather Plett | Nov 5, 2011 | Uncategorized
Inspired by the occupy movement, I’ve been thinking a lot about the questions on the hearts of all of those people gathering in communities around the world.
What questions are their restless, dissatisfied hearts asking?
How do we ask the right questions that will help us change the world?
Can we pause long enough to truly hear the questions on other people’s hearts?
How do we encourage more people to sit in circles listening to the questions that need to be asked?
These thoughts and questions lead to some art play.
A mandala emerged.
“If I had an hour to solve a problem and my life depended on the solution, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask, for once I know the proper question, I could solve the problem in less than five minutes.”
—ALBERT EINSTEIN
by Heather Plett | Oct 29, 2011 | Uncategorized
It never fails – sign up to teach or speak on some subject related to self-discovery or personal development, and BAM some person or circumstance shows up in your life to challenge you and remind you that you still have much to learn on the subject. It keeps a teacher humble – and humility’s a good thing.
I was teaching on 4 different topics this week (business writing, effective listening, creative writing for self-discovery, and emotional & social intelligence). Needless to say, I got lots of lessons. (It’s a bit of a relief that Monday’s session on community-building got canceled – I need a break from the lessons!)
The biggest lesson came on Monday, just before launching into 4 crazy-full days of teaching. It was a lesson I needed to learn not only about emotional intelligence but about my identity as a teacher.
In the middle of madly prepping for my classes (after traveling for a week and not getting much advance work done), I received the evaluations students had submitted after the business writing class I’d taught throughout the summer. The evaluations were worse than any I’d ever received before. Several students were not happy. One student didn’t think he/she learned anything new, at least one felt my marking system left something to be desired, some were annoyed that they were forced to take a writing course as part of the HR certificate, and one didn’t like my teaching style.
In the mix were some glowingly positive ones, but of course, the insecure part of my mind focused solely on the negative. And that’s when the gremlins began to dance in my head, taunting me with put-downs.
“You’re too wishy-washy with your marking system. You try too hard to be liked. You’re not really teaching them what they need to learn for the program they’re in. Someone else would do a better job. You’re failing… no, scratch that… you ARE a failure. Just WHY are you teaching? You’re not cut out for this.” And then there were the more friendly gremlins who weren’t putting me down, but were SURE I was in the wrong place. “You shouldn’t be teaching business writing. Your heart is in creative writing and you’re bringing too much of that into a business writing class. Why waste your time encouraging innovative thinking when most of your students just want to be handed a formula for getting top marks without really internalizing any of the learning?”
Only minutes into the gremlin dance (thankfully), the teacher part of my brain said, “Hey – wait a minute! Aren’t you teaching a class in emotional intelligence later this week? And aren’t you planning to tell people that they can choose the way they interpret and internalize situations and stories and can actually shift the pathways their brains take after something negative happens to them? And what about that story of Jill Bolte Taylor that you intend to share, about how she learned (after a stroke) that her brain was capable of over-riding the negative stories her left brain makes up when there are gaps in the data?”
Gulp. It’s true. I have a choice. I am not a victim of these negative stories playing in my brain.
And so I did what I planned to teach my students – asked a series of questions about what had just happened to reveal whatever truth I needed to take from it.
What are a few different ways I can interpret this story? 1. I’m a failure at teaching in general. 2. I didn’t do as well as I could have in this particular class. 3. I wasn’t an ideal match for some of the students in the class. 4. These students have emerged from an education system in which they are taught to think mostly with their logical left brains and search for formulas and empirical facts and I pushed them out of that comfort zone into a more ambiguous, creative, right-brained way of thinking and working. 5. There is already some negative energy at play in this group that has nothing to do with me and they are, unfortunately, feeding off each other and making it worse. (A version of the story that was corroborated by an email from the administrator.) 6. There is too much pressure (internally and externally) on these students to get high grades and so they’re taking that out on the teacher. 7. The fact that a few students engaged well with the learning and emerged stronger writers with greater interest in writing than they’d had before was enough. I don’t have to reach every student. 8. These students (all of them – whether they responded positively or negatively) were put into my life to help me learn some important things about who I am and how I teach and if I let them be my teachers, I will be wiser for it.
How do these various interpretations make me feel? 1. Disappointed in myself. 2. Sad that I wasn’t able to connect with more students. 3. Sorry for the students who would rather learn by rote than open their minds to innovation. 4. Frustrated with an education system that seems to be failing its students. 5. Angry at some of the students. 6. Happy for the small group of students who really shone under my tutelage. 7. Grateful for the role they all played as my teachers. 8. Determined to continue to grow as a teacher.
What options do I have about how I will respond to these interpretations? 1. Take the negative stuff personally and quit teaching. 2. Quit teaching this particular class. 3. Look for more opportunities to teach creative writing rather than business writing so I can connect with the kinds of students who value what I have to offer. 4. Adjust the way I’m teaching so that it fits better into left-brain thinking patterns. 5. Not change a thing and hope that future students “get” me better. 6. Learn a few lessons from this and adjust a few things I do (like how I communicate what elements they’re losing marks on). 7. Take pride in the fact that I connected so well with some of the students and had a genuine impact.
Huh. Go figure! Suddenly the negative story had much less power over me.
“Take THAT gremlins! You can slink back into your corners now!”
Trying my best to be emotionally intelligent, I internalized those things that felt like important learnings, I whispered a prayer of gratitude for the way the students had served as my teachers, and I went back to preparing for the sessions I would teach this week.
The very next day I started a brand new session of the same business writing class with a new group of students. Yes, I was a little nervous going in (the gremlins still managed to whisper from their corners), but I knew that I could do this with confidence. If I put everything I could into it, made adjustments where they were necessary, trusted my intuitive sense of what the students need, and had enough confidence to teach the way I believe students need to be taught rather than the way the system seems to demand, I could succeed (even if I still get a few negative evaluations at the end of the session).
A few days later, just to make extra value out of the learning, I shared this story with the students of my emotional & social intelligence workshop. Because I believe a teacher is best when she demonstrates that she too is still a learner along the path. And I watched with delight as nearly every student had at least one a-ha moments about the choices they make every day.
At the end of the day yesterday, two students approached me, trying to figure out how they could sign up for future classes I’m teaching, including the business writing class (that I have a third session of starting in a few weeks). Because they “like how I teach”.
That’s good enough for me!
I once heard this Hasidic tale: “We need a coat with two pockets. In one pocket there is dust, and in the other pocket there is gold. We need a coat with two pockets to remind us who we are.” Knowing, teaching, and learning under the grace of great things will come from teachers who own such a coat and who wear it to class every day. – Parker Palmer
by Heather Plett | Oct 20, 2011 | Uncategorized
It’s been another amazing trip. I met with a lot of interesting people, attended a workshop that is closely aligned with the work that most excites me, lined up some new work (which may result in another trip to Toronto soon), was treated to a reiki session by an amazing husband and wife team with gifted hands, built a website for a dear friend and mentor, walked a labyrinth, drove through the beautiful countryside alive with Fall colour, did some advance planning for an upcoming women’s gathering, sat in circle with some of the passionate people at Occupy Toronto, laughed harder than I have in a long time, and heard a lot of personal stories.
That last part is what fills me with the greatest happiness. Hearing the stories of what wants to emerge from people is at the heart of everything I do, whether it’s teaching people to write, helping them step into personal leadership, facilitating workshops, coaching individuals in transition, or writing for non-profits. That’s what brought me to Toronto and why I spent two days learning about narrative coaching with David Drake.
The stories that emerged this week were amazing, as they always are. I heard a story of escape from China and immigration to Canada. Another story of what it’s like to break new ground in a community as an inter-racial couple. A story of being a pioneer and doing work nobody has dreamed of before. A story of building a healing room and creating a labyrinth in the backyard to bring more spirituality into the world. Several stories of anger, frustration, and restlessness over faltering systems that no longer serve the people at the heart of them. More than one story full of the pain of shattered relationships. A story of what it’s like to leave a priestly calling for the emerging truth of a same sex relationship. A story of feeling the pull of the land and a calling to build a unique farm/spiritual centre/learning space. A story of the deep desire to bring a child into the world knowing what challenge that child will face having two fathers. A story of performing comedy in Barbados and emerging into a career in film. A story of the power of dream analysis. Several stories of the dreams and fears of building new businesses while following the longing of one’s heart. Many stories about the challenges of letting go of old limiting stories that don’t serve anymore. A story of a near-death experience in India and the resulting life change that’s emerging. Stories, stories, and more stories.
Each and every story enriched my story-gathering heart.
Sharing stories. Hosting stories. Sitting in circle and letting the stories weave into each other. THIS is my work in the world.
I am a listener. A harvester. A weaver. A host. A wanderer with a basket full of story threads that weave themselves into colourful tapestry.
It is that calling that has led me to something new and exciting. Together with my dear friend Desiree Adaway, another story-gatherer, I am launching something brand new called Global Listeners.
Desiree and I want to build a community of people who will be listeners for the stories emerging in this world. We want to help people learn to listen more effectively so that the stories can transform us. We want to help people become better leaders and change-makers through the power of listening. We want to invite people to join us on listening journeys to hear stories of other cultures.
Our mission is to enrich the world through listening.
To launch this new dream, we are hosting a free learning call on The Power of Deep and Soulful Listening. We invite you to join us next week for the call. Please sign up at the new site.
Whatever work you do in the world, whether you’re sweeping floors in a hospital, leading a large technology firm, teaching schoolchildren how to write, or driving a city bus, your work can be enriched by the power of listening.
Please join us in the circle.
by Heather Plett | Oct 12, 2011 | Uncategorized
This morning I was trying too hard to write a meaningful blog post. I kept getting stuck on something – writer’s block, boredom, restlessness, taking myself too seriously, self-doubt… whatever.
While I sat staring at my screen, a bird began to sing outside my kitchen window. It was an odd, random song with no beginning, no end, and no clear melody in the middle. It was much more random and covered a broader range of notes than any bird song I’d ever heard before. Captivated, I went to stand by the open window to listen. I couldn’t see the bird, so I have no idea what kind it was.
One thing I know for certain is that that bird loves to sing. She doesn’t care who’s listening, how she sounds, or whether there is any value in her song. She isn’t concerned about whether she’ll be able to sign with a record company or if anyone will show up for her concerts. She doesn’t even need her song to make sense or to fit into any musical category. She just sings.
I doubt whether that bird ever wrestles with singer’s block.
And so, in honour of that bird, I decided that on today’s blog post, I would just sing. Here are the little random bits of song that are on my heart today…
Song #1 – I continue to be in awe of the beautiful weather we’ve been having around here. Just now I went for a quick walk to the store (partly so that I could be outside to listen to the birds), and I could have done it without a jacket. I don’t know when we’ve enjoyed such consistently warm weather in the Fall, and I think the trees are loving it because they seem to be hanging onto their leaves longer. AND this follows an equally incredible summer.
Song #2 – I am completely in love with my Creative Writing for Self Discovery class on Thursday evenings. We sit in circle, we share stories, and we inspire and encourage each other. I want to do this for the rest of my life.
Song #3 – Speaking of stories and circles, Desiree Adaway and I are working on a secret project that is so exciting I’m just bursting to tell you about it. It’s the culmination of a few dreams that are just bursting to come true. We’ll share it soon… I promise.
Song #4 – Yesterday I was listening to a podcast that was recorded from somewhere in the Middle East, and in the background of the recording the Muslim call to prayer could be heard. I can hardly describe the longing that sound filled me with. Just like I did with the birdsong this morning, I had to stop what I was doing and just listen. I love the call to prayer and I love that the sound of it usually means that I’m in a country that is different from my own. Waking up to the call to prayer on the first morning in a new country, knowing I have adventure and new stories ahead of me, is one of my all time favourite moments EVER. I can hardly wait to relive it.
Song #5 – Speaking of travel, I leave for Toronto this weekend and, as you can imagine, that thought fills this wanderer with great joy. What gives me an extra dose of joy this time around is that this trip is happening largely because a very special person whom I’ve never met said “I love everything you write and I love the work you do. I think you need to be in Toronto for a workshop on narrative coaching and we’re going to make it happen.” And then she proceeded to make it happen. How cool is that?! I get to travel, be inspired by ideas that fit perfectly into the work I’m doing right now, meet interesting people, and explore some new ideas for how my work might link in with other people’s. Throw an extra little trill into my song right here, ’cause I’m bursting!
Song #6 – While I’m in Ontario next week, I get to spend some time in a special place with my friend and mentor Diane. She inspires me, encourages me, believes in me, and has promised me a Reiki session. AND she has a labyrinth in her back yard! Lucky me! Plus we’ll be meeting with a few other mutual friends and together we’re planning a women’s gathering in Ontario next year that will be an amazing thing to be part of.
Song #7 – I am making another pot of soup for lunch today. This time it’s brocolli and cheddar. There’s something about the Fall that just says SOUP for me. It’s the fourth pot I’ll make in about a week and a half.
Song #8 – In addition to my creative writing class and another writing class starting at the university, I’ll be teaching two workshops in the coming weeks. One is on Emotional Intelligence and the other is something I call the Mango Principles – on building communities rather than teams in our workplaces. (It’s based on a story of how the sharing of a mango once had a dramatic impact on an environment I was part of.) I’m especially excited about getting to do the Mango Principles again because it’s an idea I’m particularly fond of.
Song #9 – Speaking of community, I’ve been longing for a circle of creative entrepreneurial women in my city but I didn’t know where to find such a thing. I tried a few networking groups, but none of them felt right to me. Once I started talking about it, though, I soon discovered 4 other women looking for something similar. We had our first gathering in a funky bookstore coffee shop, and now we have plans to meet monthly. Lesson learned: if you can’t find the kind of community you need to support you, figure out how to create it.
Song #10 – I just realized that this post is all about my favourite things: story, circle, community, beauty, and wandering. Oh… and food. 🙂
Late breaking addition to the song list – Just now my friend Jo-anne phoned to arrange a chai date for this afternoon. She’s one of my favourite people to hang out with, so I have another happy moment to look forward to.
by Heather Plett | Oct 4, 2011 | Uncategorized
I’ve seen it happen time and time again. We just want to fix things for other people. It makes us feel useful if we can be fixers.
It’s in our nature – especially for those of us who live in affluent countries. Some of my African friends have pointed out that it’s a trait that’s particularly evident among North Americans. It emerges from a culture that values independence over community. To be independent we have to be fixers and givers rather than receivers or dependents.
Now there’s nothing wrong with wanting to help. Helping is a good thing. The problem comes when helping turns into fixing and we end up imposing our own solutions and values on someone else’s challenges. Unlike helping, fixing comes from a place of superiority instead of compassion. It’s something I have to resist again and again when one of my teenage daughters has a problem that I’m pretty sure I can resolve better than she can.
Today, a lot of bloggers are writing about the importance of empowering girls around the world, to help them rise out of poverty, oppression, and even slavery. It’s a cause I believe in deeply. In all of my travels in developing countries, the stories that impacted me the most deeply were the ones about young girls who’d recently escaped from sexual slavery in India, and other young girls subjected to genital mutilation in Ethiopia.
Here’s one of the things that I’ve seen have a significant impact on young girls all over the world (including my own daughters)… good role models. I’m not talking about celebrities or even perfect people, I’m talking about REAL people who live authentic and meaningful lives and let their values guide their actions.
Young girls need to be shown what impact women can have when they have the courage to live with passion and conviction despite the fact that they may fail sometimes. They especially need role models in their own countries and communities – women who have risen above the odds and impacted change in big or little ways.
I have had the privilege of meeting several such women who serve as role models in their own countries. Today, I want to honour them for the part they’re playing in changing the world. To change the world for young girls around the world, the best thing we can do is celebrate powerful women wherever they are, listen to their stories, and then find out how we can support their work.
For just a moment, step away from all the fixing you’d like to do and just listen…
Elizabeth was just 23 when I met her in Ethiopia, but she has wisdom and strength beyond her years. She has committed her life to serving the cause of justice for those who are poor. She gave up her home in Addis Ababa to move to a remote village in the Afar desert to help a nomadic community build a water diversion project so that they can move beyond the hunger that has plagued them for a number of years (since the climate has changed and drought comes more frequently). Arriving in a conservative Muslim community, Elizabeth was told “this project will never work if it’s lead by a woman”, but she persevered and a few years later, dramatic changes have occured. Not only do they have abundant crops where nothing once grew, but there are more children going to school because families do not have to uproot themselves in search of water. The most exciting change is that gradually, women are being allowed to hold leadership positions in local governance, because the community witnessed what Elizabeth was capable of.
When I met Fidelis, I couldn’t help but notice the fierce energy burning in her eyes, despite the quiet calm of her face. It didn’t take long to find out that my first impressions were dead on. This was a women who would stand up to almost anyone without flinching (she had the nerve to tell Jeffrey Sachs he might be wrong on some of his thoughts on the Green Revolution for Africa and encouraged him to listen to more Africans), but still had the grace and compassion to make everyone in her presence feel valued. One of the most striking things she said in her visit to Canada was “Why do you people in the West always think you need to FIX everything?” She was working tirelessly in her native Kenya to help farmers learn more sustainable agriculture practices. I remember a story she told about how they’d learned to give goats and chickens in some villages because then they were more assured that the women and children would eat (men were too proud to eat that lowly meat and preferred beef). Sadly, Fidelis passed away a few years ago. A bright light too soon gone.
Mary Beth left a career in teaching to work in agricultural development because she witnessed marginalized tribes during times of conflict not having enough food to eat and it awakened a driving passion in her to do something about it. She was quickly promoted to leadership and now serves as Chief Functionary/Secretary for the Rural Women’s Upliftment Society (RWUS) in a remote area of India. When she visited Canada, she could not believe how much waste was accepted in our culture. “I visited a potato farm,” she said, “and saw so many potatoes that were left on the field to rot after the machines had finished the harvest. I couldn’t help but think of all the people those potatoes might feed.”
Victoria is the first woman to serve as General Secretary of the Association of Evangelicals of Liberia (AEL). AEL is active in resettling refugees from the many years of civil war, including helping many farmers to successfully return to their land. As a single parent who provides a home for not only her own children, but her nieces and nephews (who she is supporting through school), she was struck by the self-centredness of Western culture. “When we have a surplus, we give it to someone around who does not have enough food. There are always people around who need food.”
Shama carries herself with poise and strength. There is little doubt when you meet her that you are meeting a leader. She works in program management for Church World Service in her native Pakistan. As a woman in a leadership position in a male-dominated world, she often has to assert herself or choose to ignore the prejudice she’s subjected to. Some of the projects Shama manages help families who’ve been displaced because of conflict gain access to food. It is clear she loves her country and she longs for a day when more of the young girls she meets in rural areas have access to education. Sadly, though, even where there are schools, she fears that young people are not being taught to think creatively. “They are taught by rote,” she says. “Questions are frowned upon. I’d like to see that changed.”
I wish I’d had more time to spend with Kabita on the tiny island in the Sundarbans in India where she lives. My first impression of this young schoolteacher was that she had great respect (and expected the same) for the children under her guidance who danced for us when we first arrived on the island. She took my hand and gently guided me around her village, helping me aboard the bicycle transport, protecting me from tree branches along the path, and making sure I was comfortable. With pride, she introduced me to the place she calls home where she works tirelessly to bring education to children from marginalized tribes. I have never felt so comfortable holding another woman’s hand, but there was a special bond between Kabita and I right from the start. There were tears in both of our eyes when we parted.
by Heather Plett | Oct 3, 2011 | Uncategorized
This week marks my first anniversary of being self-employed. A year ago, I walked away from a perfectly good job as a director in a non-profit organization. The job wasn’t horrible (in fact, in many ways it was very good), but it was time to go. I could feel it. It was time to write, teach, inspire, speak, and follow some vague dream of being an entrepreneur.
Sometimes I forget how far I’ve come. Sometimes I feel like I should have accomplished more, earned more money, etc., etc. And yet, when I take stock, I realize I’ve done a lot this year.
In the past year I have:
– launched this website
– traveled to Ontario where I spent an amazing few days sharing stories with a circle of incredible women under the guidance of my favourite mentor, Christina Baldwin
– started teaching in the University of Winnipeg’s Professional Development program, taught 4 classes, and signed up for another 6 classes and 3 seminars in the coming months
– gathered the wisdom of 21 people and compiled a free e-book about the emergence of feminine wisdom
– launched my newsletter, gathered an email list of over 650 people, and sent out 10 newsletters
– did some freelance writing work for a few different clients, mostly focused on international development work
– took an art class
– worked with a few Story Midwife clients who are writing diverse and fascinating books
– worked with a few Transition Guide clients who are seeing new things emerge in their lives
– conducted video interviews with a number of leadership thought leaders about their three words for Change for Good, an ALIA initiative
– created an e-workshop on How to Lead with your Paint Clothes on
– hosted an online learning circle for emerging leaders who were learning to lead with their paint clothes on
– conducted an in-person workshop on How to Lead with your Paint Clothes on
– developed a lot of amazing friendships online
– turned 45
– created A Path for Wanderers and Edge-walkers, a 12 week e-course that includes interviews with 12 amazing wanderers
– completed the first draft of my memoir – a story of transformation, faith, and my stillborn son
– traveled to Columbus, Ohio to immerse myself in the powerful circle of people that is the ALIA community, and to serve on the harvesting and story-hosting teams
– conducted a series of interviews with fascinating people on letting go of the ground and learning to trust in the transformation process
– compiled the wisdom of 26 writers into a free e-book on Writing to Impact Change
– walked hundreds of kilometres all over my city in training for the Kidney March
– helped Cath Duncan raise over $17,000 for Kidney research through the Kidney Raffle
– was featured on the front cover of my local newspaper
– traveled to Calgary, Alberta and walked 100 km with Cath Duncan and Christina Greenway in the Kidney March
– spent some quality time with my family in a cottage by a lake
– wrote and released an e-book on engaging in social media in a meaningful and mindful way
– created a course on Creative Writing for Self-Discovery and started teaching a delightful circle of people
– gathered a circle of creative entrepreneurs in my city
It’s been a great year, full of interesting possibilities, fascinating people, creativity, learning, growing, and transformation. It’s a good life, all in all.
I wouldn’t say that self employment is for everyone (there have been a lot of stressful days when I wasn’t sure what I was doing or where the money would come from), but it sure has been a fun ride for this edge-walker and wanderer!
