Yup, it’s official. I’m old. I just got fitted for custom orthotics for my feet. All that’s left is a blue-grey rinse in my hair, kleenex stuffed in my bra (’cause you just never know when you’re gonna need it!), and endless complaints about my arthritis.
Turns out I have a ridiculously high arches. The orthotics specialist (orthotician? dunno) took one look at my arches and said “those babies are HIGH! No wonder your feet hurt!” And then she shook her head sadly as I stepped on the ruler. “I don’t envy YOU when it comes to buying shoes.” There’s almost a whole size difference between my two feet. I liked her – she didn’t have that judgemental tone that some people take on when they examine various parts of your anatomy and find them lacking. (Like some of the nurses who looked at my breasts when it came time for me to start breastfeeding – “Tsk, tsk, you have flat nipples. That baby’s NEVER gonna latch on to THOSE!” As if it were MY fault my nipples were flat! Thankfully, Nikki was brilliant and figured it out right away and the nurses had to eat humble pie!)
Back to my feet… I had to get molds made of my feet. She puts on this cast-like material and you have to lie there until it dries. Fortunately, I LIKE my feet and don’t feel very self-conscious when a stranger is staring at them and manipulating them (unlike the aforementioned portion of my anatomy). And she managed not to tickle me, despite my extreme ticklishness.
Seriously, though, in spite of my cracks about getting old, I am DELIGHTED about getting orthotics! Why didn’t I figure this out years ago and save myself alot of agony and aching feet?
On the way back from my foot appointment, I stopped at the Goodwill store. I thought I’d look for skirts for my African adventure, but ended up finding a couple of sweaters, a blazer, and a shirt instead – all for a mere $13! So it’s true, I AM getting old. Not only do I have to wear orthopedic footwear, I get excited about cheap second-hand clothes. “Eh? Speak up chile’, I can’t hear you! What’s that nonsense yer blubberin’?” Gotta turn up my hearing aid!