Perhaps while waiting for word from my husband who’s gone to the hospital to find out what the cardiologist has to say about the shortness of breath that brought his father there early this morning is not the best time to listen to a sappy song about losing your life partner (see lyrics below) – especially if it’s two days before the anniversary of the death of my own father. Perhaps I could have chosen another cd if I wanted to avoid tears.

And perhaps it would be easier to comfort Julie’s tears with an “everything will be alright” platitude if she didn’t already know the pain of losing a grandpa.

Perhaps everything will be alright and I’ll write a cheery post tomorrow about our wedding anniversary. Perhaps it’s just the universe’s sick idea of a joke that our anniversary seems to be clouded with sadness, even though the marriage it commemorates is a mostly-happy one.

Perhaps I should listen to the wise words of Ray in church this morning and just “be still and wait for God.”

Lest we forget,
your deeds as a younger man.
like how when you were nine,
you fell in love because she was the
first girl you’d seen throw a cricket ball.
You knew that you’d be together for the
rest of your lives.
Now you sit alone in the sun,
in the backyard, feeding the birds
reading the newspaper.
Thinking about the love
that you shouldnt have lost.

Love that you lost,
love that you shouldnt have lost.

When I was a child,
I didnt see her much.
She passed away before i was 5.
I was so young that it barely affected my life.
Then one day when i asked
you told me she was magnifacent.
all that i had was your word
and a photograph.
But that look in your eyes
told me all that I needed to know.

Love that you lost,
love that you shouldnt have lost.

– The Waifs

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