by Heather Plett | Nov 15, 2006 | Uncategorized
Since Melissa is surfing the web checking out other people’s jewellery (I think she has her eye on Marnie’s new Disney necklace), I thought I’d answer her question and show her what my ring looks like. I’m not sure which one you were asking about Melissa, but here’s the pinkie ring I bought about 20 years ago at some roadside jewellery stand in Arizona…
And here’s the one my husband found under the seat of our old van, just before we sold it (the van, that is). Nobody else claimed it, so finders keepers.
Anyone else have jewellery to show Melissa? Perhaps, if you find a ring under the seat of YOUR van, you can send it to Melissa and make her Christmas a happy one.
UPDATE: Oh. My. Gosh. Did I just post pictures of my MOTHER’S hands? When did mine start looking like hers? There’s some serious roadmaps on those hands!
by Heather Plett | Nov 13, 2006 | Uncategorized
Yesterday, as I drove from Brooks back to the Calgary airport to fly home, I caught myself smiling while I bopped to the music. I was feeling energized and happy. It was a good trip. Even better than the miles of smooth, nearly empty highways with nothing but good music and my thoughts, were the many good people I spent time with. This trip was just what I needed. I was refreshed by relationships.
1. My brother, sister-in-law, niece and nephew. On Thursday night, I hung out with my niece while she showed me a cool powerpoint she was working on for school. Later, my brother (sometimes known on this blog as bbb, though he doesn’t have a blog – unless you count the five entries he did while he drove across Florida) and I went to a movie (Catch a Fire – worth seeing, by the way). Movies have always provided a bit of a common bond with my siblings and I. It’s what we often do when we’re together. Two of us (bbb & ccap) are more addicted than the other two, but we all enjoy a good night out at the movies now and then. The next morning, we played a couple of games of Settlers (and nobody cried :-), and then went out for Vietnamese food for lunch. It was a delightful time. Comfortable, relaxed, and just the right way to start a business trip that I initially thought would have its stressful moments. I am blessed with good family.
2. Volunteers and supporters of the non-profit organization I work for. On Friday night, I drove to Red Deer for a annual meeting with about 100 dedicated volunteers who commit time and energy to our organization’s mission to end hunger. It was SUCH a good meeting. There was a great spirit in the room. Given some of the challenges we’ve been through lately in that province, I really didn’t know what to expect, but it turned out much better than I even dared to hope. I’ve made some good friends there over the past couple of years, and it definitely feels good to walk into a room where you know there are people who support you. They energized me to come back home and re-commit myself to doing my job the best way I know how.
3. Staff. In the Spring, we hired 2 new staff to work on my team in Alberta (there are staff across the country that report to me). It’s a husband and wife team that job-share in the role. They are the kind of people you want on any team – compassionate, understanding, cooperative, energetic, committed, and all those other good things. More than anything, they feel safe – the kind of people you just know you can be yourself around and they will support you and continue to respect you. I spent Friday night and Saturday morning with them, and the trip was worth it just to see them in action. Their presence was one of the reasons Friday night’s meeting was so successful. Also, another new director was there from our Winnipeg office, and he’s a similar kind of person. (I was also on the hiring committee when he was hired, so I’m starting to think I have good instinct when it comes to hiring!) After the meeting Friday night, the four of us congregated in my hotel room and hung out until about 1:00 a.m. It is so much fun when you enjoy the presence of the people you work with. Things have gotten much better in that regard.
4. Hope. Yay! I got to meet another blogging friend! I hooked up with Hope for lunch on Saturday and it was everything I’d hoped for and more. We chatted for two and a half hours and it felt more like half an hour. I don’t think there was an awkward silence throughout. In fact, we probably could have chatted for another two and a half hours if I hadn’t had alot of miles to cover to get to Brooks. What can I tell you about Hope? Well, I think I’m in love. I want to live next to her, share recipes with her, wander along the river with her, stay up late at night chatting around a campfire, you name it. She is warm, comfortable, safe, kind, funny, and lots of other good things I can’t think of words for. Plus she’s the classy kind of woman who thinks to bring a gift AND pay for lunch. Wish I’d thought of at least SOME little gesture! Maybe when she makes her way to Winnipeg, I’ll get a chance to return the favour. I’m waiting for your visit Hope.
After my second successful blogger meet-up, I’m getting a little addicted. Anyone else want to meet me? You never know where my travels might take me. In my limited experience, you really CAN get to know someone from reading their blog, and so far, I’ve been drawn to just the kind of people I would like in “real” life.
5. Julie (and family). My third night in Alberta was spent near Brooks at the home of my very dear friend Julie. When I arrived, she was alone (her husband and sons were at a birthday party) so we got a few hours of alone time to reminisce and catch up on family news, etc. Julie and I have been friends since we were in diapers. We grew up about a mile apart, but out there in the country, they were our closest neighbour. We used to ride bikes or horses or walk to each other’s houses all the time. Our families did lots of neighbourly things together too. We didn’t have a TV growing up, so we would sometimes get to visit their house to watch special shows like The Sound of Music, Disney, or the Santa Claus parade. One of the memories Julie and I reminisced about was the time (I think it was around Halloween) she and I decided we wanted to be world-changers and we wrote and performed a play for neighbours and friends as a fundraiser for a charity. I think there were about 10 people in my parents’ living room, and if I remember correctly, we donated about three dollars to the Gideons (an organization one of our neighbours worked for). I guess life has come full circle since I now work for a non-profit organization and part of my role is leading the fundraising campaign. It was such a treat to see Julie again and actually get some one-on-one time without our kids clamouring around us.
6. Julie’s church family. Part of my reason for visiting Julie (or at least the reason that justified my visit on a business trip) was so that I could make a presentation at her church. It was one of those incredible services where you know something bigger than any of us is at work. The speaker spoke on exactly the same topic I had planned to talk about in my presentation. The story I told couldn’t have been better suited than if we’d sat down and planned it together (which we didn’t, since I’d never met or talked to the speaker before and we’d made no arrangements through Julie about the topic). I felt completely at home there, and left feeling happy that Julie and her family have a wonderful church community surrounding them.
So there you have it – relationship refreshment. I have been renewed by the people I met. Thank you to all of them for sharing pieces of themselves with me.
Speaking of relationships – now I think it’s time I start catching up on all of your blogs so you don’t think I’ve abandoned you. (And just so you don’t think I’m doing this on work time, I’ve taken today off to recuperate from my trip. Catching up on blogs sounds like recuperation to me!)
Before I go though, Hope, this picture is for you, just so you know how much I enjoyed the gift. Mmmmm…
by Heather Plett | Nov 9, 2006 | Uncategorized
In a few hours, I’ll be on another plane heading for Alberta. No, I don’t have much time to formulate any meaningful thoughts, but here are some of the things I’m looking forward to and some of the things I’m not:
Looking forward to:
– Seeing my brother, sister-in-law, niece, nephew, and dog-nephew. (Yes, AP, that last one is for your benefit.) I’ll stay with them in Calgary tonight.
– Hanging out with my sister-in-law tomorrow morning. She is one of my best friends.
– The airplane rides. I love planes and airports and just about anything associated with travel.
– Miles and miles of open road and me, alone, in a rental car. I love driving, and I’m rather fond of driving alone, with no fighting going on in the back seat and nothing to interrupt my thoughts other than the radio.
– Meeting another blogger friend. I’ll tell you more later.
– Spending time with my new employees in Alberta. They’re both beautiful people with good souls.
– Visiting my closest childhood friend Julie and her husband and sons.
– A quiet night in a hotel room.
– Meeting some of the friendly supporters and volunteers who have become friends in the past year and a half when I’ve had to travel to Alberta more than I wanted to.
Not looking forward to:
– Three nights in three separate beds.
– Weariness from an agenda that looks a little too full.
– A potentially contensious management issue I have to deal with.
– Being away from my family.
– Spending part of a day with a pasted-on-smily-face working at a booth at a trade show.
– Missing the weekend routines at home, like Friday night supper with my extended family, lazy Saturday mornings, good conversation in church on Sunday mornings, Sunday night supper with Marcel’s extended family, and watching Amazing Race on Sunday night with my daughters.
– Not being the one to drop Maddie off at the second birthday party she’s ever been invited to.
There’s not much chance I’ll be blogging or catching up on your blogs while I’m gone. Since I’m already behind on the “catching up” side, I’ll have lots of reading to do when I get home. Talk to you then! In the meantime, like my dad used to say whenever we parted, “Be good.”
by Heather Plett | Nov 9, 2006 | Leadership, marriage
Tonight, while I sit here sipping tea and reading blogs, Marcel is at the parent council meeting at school. He’s their new treasurer. Everybody loves him for volunteering. I love him for volunteering. It gets me off the hook. At least SOMEONE in our family is doing their part.
He’s a rare commodity – a father who’s willing to volunteer on parent council. Even though we’ve come a long way, baby, there are still some things that are traditionally mom’s roles. Volunteering at school is one of them. But I’m quite happy to let him have this role. I’m not very good at the whole “mommy volunteering to make this world a better place” thing. I’m happy to go on the occasional field trip, but I’d rather not hand out pizza on hot lunch days, cut out hundreds of pig faces for kindergarten crafts, or listen to kids read in the hallway.
For the most part, Marcel and I have managed to live our married life outside of the “rules” of a traditional marriage. For the past 4 years, he’s been the primary caregiver and stay-at-home parent (while he went to university). He’s been to more doctor’s and dentist’s appointments than me lately, he volunteers at school, coaches soccer, nags the girls about homework after school, signs agendas, packs lunches, makes supper, serves pizza on hot lunch day at school, takes Maddie to story time at library, etc., etc. It works for us. It some ways, I think it suits us better than if we’d done things the other way around.
It’s not like we sat down one day and decided “hey – let’s be radical and kick tradition in the butt”. Mostly, we’ve tried to make each decision in a way that worked for our own marriage, rather than in a way that lined up with traditional expectations of our roles. For a long time, we both worked and, back then, we shared the roles. We took turns with things like meals, volunteering, transporting to doctor’s appointments, etc. Then one day we arrived at a crossroads where I was advancing in my career, he was stagnating in his, I was making enough money for us to survive, he wanted to go to university, and we wanted one of us to be at home for the girls more. It just seemed like the right choice for him to stay home with the girls and go to school (mostly in the evenings at first).
The transition wasn’t without its road-bumps. At the beginning, I probably had unrealistic expectations of what he would take responsibility for. At the same time, he occasionally felt that I was taking him for granted. Sometimes, I have to admit, I found myself feeling little twinges of jealousy when he knew more about the girls’ schooling than I did, knew more of the other parents than I did, and got to spend more time with the girls. And I’m pretty sure sometimes he was a little jealous that I got to spend more time in the company of adults than he did. But we got used to our new roles, and soon found that it worked quite well for us.
In the future, we might make decisions differently. When he’s back to work, for example, I hope to spend more time at home, and then I’ll take over more of the responsibilities around here. Nothing is forever, and neither of us is afraid to take one type of role or another. We just find what works for us. This year, since he’s in school almost full time, we’re back to sharing most of the household and parenting tasks.
I remember sitting on a farm in Africa talking to the owner of the farm who was a well respected community leader and politician. We were waiting for the meal that his wife (or wives – can’t remember which) and the other women of the village were preparing. He was quite puzzled when I told him that I had small children who were at home with their dad. When I explained that my husband was the primary caregiver who cooked most of the meals and looked after the children when I worked, he looked at me with shock and probably a bit of horror. He couldn’t quite fathom what I’d just told him. I’m pretty sure he was hopeful that I wouldn’t have a chance to chat with his wife. I have to admit, it gave me some measure of pleasure to see the look on his face.
I am grateful that I live in a culture where it is not particularly surprising anymore that we’ve chosen the roles that we have. I am grateful that I’m married to a man who’s comfortable with this arrangement (or any other we might want to try). I am grateful that my daughters won’t grow up with any preconceived notions about what roles a man or a woman should or shouldn’t fill.
Tomorrow, I leave for Alberta on another business trip. While I am gone, I never have to worry that the kids won’t be well cared for or that the house will fall apart. Homework will get done, lunches will get made, dishes will be washed, and my absence will barely have an impact. Chances are, there would be more chaos around here if Marcel went away for a few days than when I do. (Fortunately, though, I will still be missed.)
by Heather Plett | Nov 7, 2006 | Uncategorized
When we were kids, we would wait with eager anticipation for the arrival of the Sears Wishbook. After Mom had a chance to peruse it, it was our turn. With pens in hand we would scan the glossy pages, skipping quickly over anything that looked naughty (like the lingerie pages), and heading straight for the toys. In awe of the world full of wonderful things that we had never seen or even imagined, we’d page through it carefully and with what was almost reverence. The first time through, we’d just look. The second or third times, we’d put little marks beside the ones that caught our attention. And then, when we were brave enough to mark up the shiny pages, we’d circle the things we dreamed of, going back several times to gaze upon the pure beauty of all those things we knew we’d never own.
It was all about the dreams, really. We were poor growing up. If we got one small toy (a doll, a second-hand bike) we were lucky. We never really believed those extravagant things in the Wishbook would arrive under our tree on Christmas morning. It was just too far out of reach. But that didn’t stop the dreaming. I remember the years I dreamed about the Barbie camper van that my cousin Christine was lucky enough to own. I coveted that camper van with every fibre of my being.
As much as we loved to dream about the beautiful things on those glossy pages, I don’t really remember it feeling too painful knowing that we wouldn’t own them. Sometimes dreaming is enough. Sometimes owning only serves to extinguish the dream. We were happy kids. Yes, sometimes we felt the sting of poverty, wishing we could have what some of the other kids had, but mostly we were content with our second-hand bikes and our hand-me-down clothes. Even though I never owned the camper van, I remember all the things my friend Laurel and I constructed for our Barbies to make up for its absence – three-story houses out of stacked chairs, cars out of cardboard boxes, you name it.
My kids have a lot more toys than I ever had, but still they have to live with less than most of their friends. Sometimes it’s about what we can or can’t afford and sometimes it’s about what we choose not to buy. Nikki wants a Gameboy more than anything else she can imagine. She knows she won’t get a Gameboy. Too expensive and too anti-social for my Christmas-buying list. And maybe it’s better for her to dream about it than to own it. If she owned it, she’d probably be bored with it in a couple of months.
Don’t get me wrong – I DO like to indulge my kids (and myself) now and then. When we sold the camper last year, every member of the family got to buy something their heart cherished. Nikki got an mp3 player, Julie got a bean-bag chair, and Maddie got some toy she had her eye on (I can’t remember which). I got my digital camera. Marcel got a new bike. But that was a rare moment. I think the indulgences have to be rare and special for them to mean anything. In between, some of the dreams have to remain just that – dreams.
All of this is my meandering way of getting to the original point of this post – bashing Wal-mart. Have you heard about their new advertising ploy – Toyland? It’s a website where kids get to play a “game”, pick out all the things they want, and it then sends an email to their parents with their wishlist, saving them the time of writing it down, and helping them do some of the parent-nagging. Is it just me, or does this turn your stomach too? Maybe it’s no different from the Sears Wishbook, and maybe I should just chill out, but it bugs me how sneaky advertising is getting these days – especially when it comes to marketing for kids. To disguise a marketing campaign as a cheery little game, where little elves appear to tell you how cool each toy is, seems just a little too manipulative. I’ve gotten used to all the advertising on the internet, but I’m an adult and I can tune it out fairly successfully. Although we often talk about it with the girls so that they’ll be able to recognize clever marketing when they see it, they’re still very susceptible to what the advertisements tell them they should want.
In one of Anne Lamott’s stories (I think it was in Traveling Mercies), she talked about how it stunned her to realize how “entitled” her son seemed to feel – like the world owed him all kinds of things and he could expect to receive them. That’s what I fear in my kids – that with all this advertising being pelted at them thousands of times a day, they will begin to feel that owning all that stuff is the norm rather than the exception.
In spite of all of this, though, I have to say that our kids are fairly well grounded and not particularly greedy. Oh, they beg for things like every other kid, but they don’t make a lot of demands. They know their parents’ buying-power is limited and they’re also well aware that there are a lot of things we choose not to buy even if we can afford it. Mostly, they’re okay with that. As much as advertising to kids makes me see red now and then, I still believe it is possible to influence your kids to not be overly materialistic. (In fact, I’ve so indoctrinated my girls that the running joke in our house is that I start to twitch if we get too close to Walmart. I boycotted it a couple of years ago and haven’t been back since. In fact, they’ve been so influenced by my shopping choices that their favourite store is Ten Thousand Villages, a fair-trade store with cool stuff from all over the world.)
I guess I just get a little weary of fighting the Wal-marts of this world to re-inforce my values with my kids. Those mega-stores have got the big bucks behind them, and a bunch of highly paid marketing gurus. My arsenal seems a little paltry in comparison.
