Today I want eight steps. Eight easy steps to a happier healthier you. Or eight steps to living the life you’ve always wanted. Or eight simple steps to losing 40 pounds without even trying. Or eight steps to whipping your house into shape and keeping it that way. Or eight mind-blowingly easy steps to getting that book published you’ve always dreamed of. Or eight simple things you can do to turn your children into the most obedient, most cooperative children on the planet.

Today I don’t want to do the hard work – I just want someone to tell me the eight easy steps or “the secret” so that I don’t have to slog through all the crap along the way. Today I want to breeze through life in a straight line instead of taking one step forward and two steps back.

Why is life never quite as linear as those eight simple steps seem to suggest?

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