I’m feeling a little vulnerable today – a little over-tired from tossing and turning (and not enough sleeping) last night, and a little discouraged about not being able to move into the next phase of my life as quickly as I’d like to (yes, I’m back at work and the stack of papers in my in-box just doesn’t have the same ability to excite my passions that it once did) – so when I first saw Jamie Ridler’s question for wishcasting Wednesday, I closed the link and tried to ignore it. “I’m just going to have to be satisfied with closed doors for now,” I thought.
But the truth is, I’m not satisfied. True to my nature, I want to rush headlong into the next adventure and I don’t want to WAIT. ANY. MORE! The door that flung itself open when the idea for my new site plopped into my lap is calling me to run through it with wild abandon… but I’m still stuck at the doorway. I can only go part way through the door until… well, until various things align and the timing is right for me to take the next big bold step.
I am not a patient person. I want stuff and I want it NOW! I know, I know… I have preached the value of waiting and being still and surrendering to the timing of the “god of my understanding”, BUT… (stomps her foot on the floor like a 3 year old) I don’t WANNA wait!
Sigh. Deep breath. Here I am, though, trying to make the best of it. In the meantime, while I only have a minimal amount of time to work on my big dream, I’m going to keep hoping, and dreaming, and planning, and throwing little fish hooks into the big blue ocean hoping to score a keeper. (Mixing metaphors again – I know, I KNOW!)
And when it comes to open doors, I’ve got a whole “mondo beyondo” list of things I’d like to see happen in the coming year (or so):
– Talk on the radio some more. Loved it! And maybe TV too.
– Speak at some conferences, retreats, etc. about “What are you giving away”
– Start doing “Giveaway parties” and have the idea catch fire
– Host a workshop and/or retreat (or two or three…)
– Write regular articles for a magazine – maybe a column?
And a couple of REALLY big ones:
– Get a book contract and an agent and some time to write the book version of “What are you giving away”
– Go to Africa again and gather some stories of people epitomizing the philosophy of “What are you giving away”
I could go on, but that’s definitely enough honesty for now. It feels a little scary to admit these things, but – what the heck? If you don’t put stuff out there, how can people support your dreams?