I’m trying to believe…
– that there is reason for hope and that it won’t always be snuffed out like it has been this week.
– that this feeling that the whole world is resting on my shoulders will some day pass.
– that the herculean effort that it takes to make things normal and stable for my children right now will be worth it.
– that my children really are handling this as well as they seem to be.
– that the hundreds of tears that my pillow has had to absorb will some day cease to flow.
– that I won’t always have to clean puke off the floor at 4:00 a.m. on top of everything else I have to handle right now.
– that there really is a God and that s/he doesn’t hate me as much as it seems.
– that the moments I have managed to be warrior woman and fight the system to advocate for my beloved will result in good things in the end.
– that there will come a time when I don’t have to pretend that life is normal and make small talk with the other soccer moms, and then drive off the parking lot sobbing all the way home.
– that I will continue to have enough restraint not to throw things at people who say stupid or un-called-for things.
– that one day, I’ll have a perfectly normal, carefree day again,
– that someone with the right wisdom will show up and help the healing process begin.
– that whatever the cost, love is still worth it in the end.