“You’re not going to have a lot of people you can talk to about this. There is never a crowd on the leading edge.” — Abraham
The above quote was shared on Facebook this morning by my dear friend and fellow edgewalker, Katharine. When I read it, I breathed a deep sigh of recognition.
Those of us who find our places at the edge, where we are ever watchful for what is emerging and always pushing the boundaries of what’s acceptable and comfortable for the masses, do not hang out in large crowds.
Instead, if we’re brave enough to stay on that edge and do those things our hearts call us to do, we often hear words like “You’re doing what? What does that mean? Why are you wasting time with that? Aren’t there things you could do that you’d make more money at? I don’t understand.”
But edgewalkers can’t move back into the comfort zone where their loved ones want them to be and feel any “real” comfort. They need to be pushing the boundaries, living with the questions, embracing the risk, and being true to the restless wanderer at their core.
For an edgewalker, true comfort is in discomfort.
An edgewalker needs the edge. Like a bird needs the sky. Like a fish needs the water.
Finding your place feels authentic and energizing, but it can also feel awfully lonely. It’s hard to explain this driving need to be at the edge. People in the centres of the crowd don’t understand. They want to draw you back into the crowd, for their comfort and yours.
What do you do when you know you’re called to the edge and nobody around seems to understand?
Find other edgewalkers.
Reach out to people with common questions. Go to gathering places where edgewalkers congregate. Enter conversations on social media. Ask someone you admire out for coffee. Take relationship risks.
Dare to tell your story and ask your questions in public. Lots of people will look at you strangely, and sometimes you’ll go home feeling dejected and embarrassed, but more often than not, there will be at least one person in the room who will take you aside (possibly in secret) and say “you said the words I most needed to hear tonight.”
Chances are, there won’t be throngs of people, because the other people in the room are still clinging to comfort, but all you need is a handful of people to make a circle.
Find your circle and then take even more bold steps toward the edge.
I was recently asked to write about my soul path and found myself describing it as the path of discomfort! It is posts like these that make me glad to be in a virtual circle with you.
How lovely to find my FB “share” inspired this post, Heather. Thank you. A nice synchronicity, wherein I was an early arriver to that teleconference with Meg Wheatley (as I wrote) and we got to talking about my co-hosting Christina Baldwin and Ann Linnea for September’s Circle Practicuum in Edmonton (still space!), just as the moderator joined in. She was the caller for the Orillia event that you and Marg attended, which I mentioned. Yes, circles within circles. Love it.
Warmly….
This really resonates for me. I have felt this way (like an “edge walker”, although I never thought of it that way) for most of my life, while most of my family and friends look on with concern. Thankfully, though, over time I think I’ve developed the confidence to continue moving in the direction that I know I am meant to move despite the judgements and questions. When more of us follow our hearts (to the edge), we leave pathways for others to do the same time.
This post spoke to me. No scratch that it sang to me and it’s song was beautiful and powerful and empowering. Here is what I said to my family and friends in a comment when I shared the link on my Facebook page:
Have you ever said to me or wanted to say to me “You’re doing WHAT?! You must be crazy!!”? If so this post by Heather Plett might help you understand me a bit better.
Yes; I know that going to a war zone, a year of AmeriCorps working for less than minimum wage, walking away from a job I was good at and that had security to try something new, putting a job at risk to volunteer in a disaster response operation, getting arrested for a cause in which I believe, and so many other things that I have done seems less than wise. However, I have come to realize that I am happiest living a life off the beaten path, coloring outside the lines, pushing myself to do things that stretch my limits and my abilities.
I tried, I really tried to be happy doing what was expected and normal and successful. I tried for more than four decades. Now I am going to embrace the happiness of being uncomfortable. Yes, it gets lonely and it takes me far from people I love and who love me. Yes, it means that my life may not look successful from the outside. It also means that I am being true to myself and that I can embrace the quest and find peace in the discomfort.
Thank you Heather for giving words to feelings I hadn’t fully recognized.”
Thank you all for your beautiful comments. I love it when I write a post like this, and people raise their hands and say “I’m an edgewalker too!” I’m glad to have you all in my tribe.
It may feel uncomfortable, but for us, it’s the only way to live. And it’s the edgewalkers who move the world in new directions.
and there comes a point where the uncomfortable leaves us, and only the joy, the spark, the anticipation is left! Loving the future!
Yes, I’m beginning to catch the “edges” of this, Ria. Thanks for that signpost.
Oh my gosh what a fabulous post! Throughout the years I’ve done many things others shook their head at in disbelief or dismay, thinking I’m crazy and yet those risks taken are when I felt most alive and happy. I love the term ‘edgewalker’. I just joined Jonathan Mead’s trailblazer program and so relieved and comforted to hear others are out on the edge and blazing new trails too. We’re not crazy – those stuck in “comfortland” are the crazy ones 🙂
Oh how I needed to read this today. I know it, have known it, but the loneliness so often makes me question what I know. If it’s really this lonely, this uncomfortable, should I just give in and move on back into the middle? But the middle is no more comfortable. And thinking of how the edgewalkers in my midst have said the things I desperately needed to hear helps me find the courage to push past the fear to say something that maybe someone else desperately needs to hear. Thanks for this today.
Thank you for this brilliant post. It was just what I needed to read today and I’m taking deeper breaths because of it. Thanks too to Katharine for inspiring it!
Thank you so much for this post, I found it so helpful, it really did speak to me and served to remind me of something I was in danger of leaving out of the equasion. I have recognised over the years that I ‘dance on the edge’ (as I put it) but when chronic health problems became a part of my life, I took the the sensible advice given which resulted in my ‘joining the crowd’, having tried this for some time now I still feel like a ‘fish out of water’, this post has encouraged me to re-ealuate whilst keeping in mind who I am as an ‘edge walker’. Many thanks again.
This was so good to hear today! To consider that perhaps I need the discomfort, to consider that I am on the edge, to consider that I stand outside the crowd …all just so useful and comforting to me. I can often find myself feeling lonely on this path because I feel somewhat of an outsider, but perhaps this is where I was born to be. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.