by Heather Plett | Jul 8, 2009 | Uncategorized
There have only been a few years in my life when I’ve had a room of my own. Growing up, I shared a room with my sister. When I moved away to college and then to the city to start my adult-life-away from home, I almost always shared rooms with roommates and (for a few years) my sister again. There were really only about two years just before I got married that I had my very own bedroom.
Tonight I’m feeling a little giddy, because I finally have a room of my own. It’s a tiny little room that’s more like a cocoon (only about 7 feet by 10 feet with no windows), but it’s big enough for a desk, a chair, a lamp, and some cushions on the floor. I think I can even manage to spread out my yoga mat in here.
I’m blogging from my new little room right now and I feel so very, very happy. Finally I have a space to escape to when I want to do uninterrupted creative things like paint, write, and just imagine possibilities.
I’ll write more about it soon – and even post pictures. But for now, I’m just sitting here basking in the glow.
It feels rather serendipitous that I moved in here on the evening of the full moon.
by Heather Plett | Jul 7, 2009 | criticism, fearless
He sat in my office, and though it was a few months too late to give me feedback and I certainly wasn’t asking for any now that all was said and done and the plan was well in motion, he said “I think you’re making a mistake. I think you should be doing X and Y instead of A and B.”
I sat there dumbfounded for a minute, and then, more calmly than I felt, I said “I’m sorry, I am no longer soliciting feedback on this issue. I asked for your feedback a few months ago, and since you didn’t offer it then, you have no right to offer it now. I don’t believe I’m making a mistake and I’m committed to the decisions I’ve made.”
A few hours later, after he’d left and my gut reaction had settled from seething to just slightly frustrated, it struck me how significant this conversation was. Not that it was unusual to get unsolicited feedback too late from my staff or co-workers – that happens all the time. What WAS unusual though was the fact that, even though it was a frustrating conversation, it had not ONCE caused me to doubt the wisdom of my decision.
I’ve been taking some fairly bold steps in my day-job lately, and though there are lots of supporters for the path I’m forging, there have been a lot of naysayers too. For whatever reason (uncertainty, fear, jealousy, genuine concern – you name it) boldness always brings out the critics. Constructive criticism during the development phase can be a very good thing (it helped make my idea a whole lot better, as a matter of fact), but the “after-the-fact” critiques just feel like rain on someone’s parade.
This realization that I’m getting better at handling it and not letting it send me into a spiral of self-doubt and insecurity was a refreshing and welcome shift. For too long, I’ve let fear of criticism, fear of failure, fear of resistance, and fear of embarrassing myself keep me from boldness. I’ve worked a little too hard at making sure all my decisions were met with acceptance rather than resistance. Let’s face it – I just wanna be liked.
But that’s starting to shift and I’m so grateful. The person who sat in my office and critiqued my plan doesn’t have to like me or my plan. I still think it’s the right plan. The person who made negative comments about the video I executive-produced (after it was completed and too late to make any changes) doesn’t have to like it. I still think it’s good.
What do you do with criticism or rejection – especially the stuff that comes too late? Are you able to rise above and keep believing in yourself? Are you able to continue to face the world with boldness and self confidence?
Today, when you begin to let the critics (either external or internal) eat away at your confidence, stand up and say out loud (even if you just do it alone in your bathroom) “I have not given you permission to dump all over my good idea. I believe that it is good and I am committed to seeing it through.”
by Heather Plett | Jul 7, 2009 | summer camping
I’m busy downloading a bunch of pictures from our camping trip this past weekend and I couldn’t resist posting this one of my two oldest daughters. It was a lovely time of relaxation with some of our favourite people.
by Heather Plett | Jul 3, 2009 | fearless, Wreck this Journal
Don’t you love it when the right book shows up just when you need it? After ordering
a book I’d suggested, Vicki sent me a suggestion for
another book, and it couldn’t have shown up at a better time. I think the writer crawled into my brain, studied my random thoughts for awhile, and, like a doctor, prescribed just the right medication for what’s ailing me.
I’ve underlined so many things already, and I’m only on page 57. This one, for example, could have been pulled almost verbatim from my recent blog posts: “Some have felt eager and engaged by their work for years and then walked into their office one fine morning to find their enthusiasm gone, their energies spent, their imaginations engaged in secret ways, elsewhere.” Hmmm… secret ways? Yup, I got ‘em.
On the bus yesterday, I underlined this quote: “For most of us, an inner parental voice continually keeps the world at bay. It says, ‘Life is precarious; you young cannot know how precarious. Don’t add to the sum total of difficulty that awaits you: Stay off the moors; Stay off the ocean, stay away from the edge, don’t follow the intensity of your more passionate dreams, find safe work, and adventure not into your own nature lest it lead you directly into nature itself. Adventure only on the weekends of life and not in the working week.’”
I nearly choked on that quote. It stirred so many things for me, a lot of them related to the reason I chose “fearlessness” as my word for the year. How many times have I chosen what’s safe? How many times have I failed to “adventure into my own nature”?
The other thing it stirred in me was the concern that I have become that parental voice for my children. More than anything, I want them to be authentic, bold, and passionately in search of their own calling and nature. But sometimes, let’s face it, a mother’s first concern is that they be safe. How do we balance those desires for our children without messing them up in the process?
When I went grocery shopping last night, I took my “Wreck this Journal” along, thinking I’d do something silly with it. Instead though, with these book-induced thoughts spinning through my mind, I took a detour to my son’s grave and did some wrecking of a kinder, gentler variety.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l87CgnLhmjY&hl=en&fs=1&]
If you can’t see the video yet, it might not be fully loaded. I’m posting before it’s ready – don’t have time to wait.
by Heather Plett | Jul 2, 2009 | summer, Thursday thirteen
Thirteen random happy summer things
1. Wearing sandals. Oh how I love having bare toes! And not having to dig through laundry baskets for socks? Heaven!
2. Bubbles…
3. Wandering. Yesterday (Canada Day) was a picture perfect day for wandering (through Osborne Village, to the Forks), people-watching, eating treats, and listening to music – all with people who are easy to be around
4. Folk Festival! A week from today! Yippee!
5. Riding my bike along the river. The bike ride home from work is the best part of my day.
6. Camping! S’mores, campfires, beach-bummin’, “camper breakfast”, sleeping in a tent – it’s all good.
7. A family road trip. Yippee! I love, love, LOVE road trips with my family. I think we all get along best on road trips (even when cramped in a car that we’re outgrowing), ‘cause we’re all just so relaxed and happy.
8. Warm sun, good books…
9. Holidays. Being away from work for awhile. Re-charging. Oh how I need that. (Sadly, though, I have to split my holidays so that I can go through a hiring process to replace the staff person who just resigned.)
10. Water. I LOVE being near water in the summer – lakes, rivers, creeks, oceans, you name it.
11. Drinks on a patio. It’s my goal to have a few more lovely evenings like this with interesting, creative friends. (Friends in my proximity? Consider this a warning – I’ll be calling you. Unless you call me first, of course.)
12. Summer food. Barbecues. Picnics. Potato salad. Hotdogs from a street vendor.
13. Fun and carefree creative things. Like more wreckage. And finishing up my creative sanctuary in the basement. And doing a little more painting.
