Do you want to see how lucky I am?
These three beautiful people call me mom.
And this man calls me wife.
Could I possibly be more lucky?
TGIF
I am trusting… that the little pieces of me I am offering up to my friends will be held tenderly in their hands…that when I share my ideas they won’t be rejected… that reaching out is better than holding back… that my recent “stroke of inspiration” is worth sharing with the world when it is ready to unfold.
I am grateful for… the roses from my husband… the cd from my daughters… the concert tickets from my sister… the lovely little encouragement and generosity of my technogeek brother…the two conference call birthday songs from colleagues and consultants… the many birthday greetings from friends and family… two birthday lunches and one supper…a gentle, kind email from Ethiopia… phone calls from Holland, Nova Scotia, Saskatchewan, Toronto, and places closer to home. I feel loved and honoured.
I am inspired by… an amazing conversation over lunch with a friend yesterday…the sharing of big dreams…the voice of the muse (and all of the other voices of writers, artists, bloggers, etc. who reflect what the muse wants me to learn) bringing all the rambling thoughts in my brain into one beautiful focused idea.
Inspired by TGIF at Ordinary Courage.
Reflections on my 43rd birthday
1. I didn’t know 43 would feel so YOUNG!
2. I thought I’d be smarter by now.
3. No matter how old and comfortable in your own skin you get, it’s still always nice when someone remembers and wishes you a happy birthday.
4. It seems my daughters managed to pick up a little kindness along the way to teen-hood. The oldest two bought me the soundtrack for Slumdog Millionaire for my birthday.
5. It feels good to know that, at 43, I’m pretty close to where I’d like to be in my life. I live with few regrets.
6. Perhaps we should be in the habit of making birthday resolutions rather than New Year’s resolutions.
7. In my 44th year, I resolve to be kinder to myself and to the people I love (yes, that means you, Marcel.)
8. I resolve to give away more things.
9. I resolve to forgive myself for wasting time.
10. I resolve to be me and not wish I were someone else.
11. I think this might be the year that something big will be launched. I’m not exactly sure what it looks like yet, though.
12. My Brazilian friend wished me a Brazilian birthday wish for “everything that is good in the world”. I like it.
13. I really need to make a better effort to record people’s birthdays. A friend on the east coast phoned me this morning to wish me a happy birthday – I’d mentioned the date months ago, and he wrote it down and remembered. That’s classy.
14. A few years ago, I was working at a place where I wasn’t very happy and had few friends. Nobody wished me a happy birthday all day and I didn’t tell anyone it was my birthday. It was a lonely day.
15. Thanks to the wonders of Facebook, several work friends know it’s my birthday today. It doesn’t feel as lonely.
16. I wish I’d made lunch arrangements with a friend today. A birthday lunch would be nice.
17. At 43, I guess I’m about halfway through my life. I think the next half is going to be the best half.
18. The first half’s been pretty good too.
19. I like being in my forties. It feels old enough to have gained a bit of wisdom, but young enough to still be foolish now and then.
20. The only problem is – I still haven’t figured out what I want to be when I grow up.
21. I just got a lovely serendipitous Skype call from one of my favourite people who’s in Holland right now. She didn’t know it was my birthday, but phoned me spontaneously none-the-less. It was a lovely birthday surprise.
2. I thought I’d be smarter by now.
3. No matter how old and comfortable in your own skin you get, it’s still always nice when someone remembers and wishes you a happy birthday.
4. It seems my daughters managed to pick up a little kindness along the way to teen-hood. The oldest two bought me the soundtrack for Slumdog Millionaire for my birthday.
5. It feels good to know that, at 43, I’m pretty close to where I’d like to be in my life. I live with few regrets.
6. Perhaps we should be in the habit of making birthday resolutions rather than New Year’s resolutions.
7. In my 44th year, I resolve to be kinder to myself and to the people I love (yes, that means you, Marcel.)
8. I resolve to give away more things.
9. I resolve to forgive myself for wasting time.
10. I resolve to be me and not wish I were someone else.
11. I think this might be the year that something big will be launched. I’m not exactly sure what it looks like yet, though.
12. My Brazilian friend wished me a Brazilian birthday wish for “everything that is good in the world”. I like it.
13. I really need to make a better effort to record people’s birthdays. A friend on the east coast phoned me this morning to wish me a happy birthday – I’d mentioned the date months ago, and he wrote it down and remembered. That’s classy.
14. A few years ago, I was working at a place where I wasn’t very happy and had few friends. Nobody wished me a happy birthday all day and I didn’t tell anyone it was my birthday. It was a lonely day.
15. Thanks to the wonders of Facebook, several work friends know it’s my birthday today. It doesn’t feel as lonely.
16. I wish I’d made lunch arrangements with a friend today. A birthday lunch would be nice.
17. At 43, I guess I’m about halfway through my life. I think the next half is going to be the best half.
18. The first half’s been pretty good too.
19. I like being in my forties. It feels old enough to have gained a bit of wisdom, but young enough to still be foolish now and then.
20. The only problem is – I still haven’t figured out what I want to be when I grow up.
21. I just got a lovely serendipitous Skype call from one of my favourite people who’s in Holland right now. She didn’t know it was my birthday, but phoned me spontaneously none-the-less. It was a lovely birthday surprise.
22. In a second call from Holland, it was lovely to hear the harmonizing voices of my mom and her husband singing happy birthday to me.
23. I should be at home right now, reading a book. I just heard from a friend that there’s an old saying that “if you spend your birthday working, you will work every day of the year ahead.”
23. I should be at home right now, reading a book. I just heard from a friend that there’s an old saying that “if you spend your birthday working, you will work every day of the year ahead.”
24. I have met a lot of really cool people in my 43 years.
25. I’ve been to a lot of really cool places in my 43 years.
26. After the 2 calls, I’m wishing I were in Holland right now.
27. Our consultants just sang happy birthday to me on a conference call. That’s what you call “going the extra mile” as a consultant.
28. In another lovely birthday surprise, I’ve just been invited to participate in a fundraising art exhibit! Ach! The organizer couldn’t believe I’d only started painting in January.
Stop dabbling. Start doing.
“I didn’t know you were a singer-songwriter,” I said to my dinner companion after he told me he’d be meeting Vance Gilbert (whom I’d just mentioned) at the upcoming Folk Festival singer-songwriter retreat.
“Welllll…” he hesitated, “I dabble in it.”
“Why is it that almost all artists I know don’t admit to being artists – they ‘just dabble in it’?”
He chuckled. “Okay… so let’s try this again… I AM a singer-songwriter.”
“Much better,” I said.
And then, after telling him about my idea for a web space where “dabblers” can “own their wisdom and share it graciously”, I said, “I once taught a creativity workshop, and overwhelmingly, the participants were all yearning for the same thing – permission to create and to call themselves artists.”
“Creativity workshop?” he said, his ears perking up. “Tell me more.”
And then, because we were both trying to be more bold and own our giftedness, I told him more, and by the end, he’d invited me to teach a day long workshop for his staff. And I went home with that dreamy look on my face.
*******
A few years ago, I wrote this as my personal mission statement:
My mission is to inspire excellence in people, facilitate growth and the discovery of giftedness, and to serve as a catalyst for positive change.
*******
Stay tuned. The bud is beginning to unfold in delightful ways.
Ten things I’ve learned while trying to be more fearless
Prompted by a comment from Joyce, I thought it was high time I wrote another fearless post. If you’re just catching up, you can find the video introduction to my “year of living more fearlessly” here, and follow-up posts here, here, here, here, here, and here.)
Here are the ten things I’ve learned (or keep re-learning)…
1. It’s not doing any good, this “hiding in the bulrushes” thing you try to do sometimes. You’re not doing anybody any favours by not putting your stuff out there. When you put your stuff out there, you might just win $200 in a photo contest. Or get something published.
2. Sometimes, when you try your best fearless growl, and you manage to send out a notice to several creative friends about a cool group you want to start, and then you’re met with stone cold silence by more than half of them, it probably doesn’t mean they don’t like you or think your idea is stupid. It might just mean they don’t open their emails very often. Try again. Maybe pick up the phone next time.
3. Most of the time, other people are just as fearful as you. There might be really good ideas they’re withholding because they’re afraid you’re smarter than them and already thought of those ideas.
4. When you’re on a film shoot with a bunch of big wig film producer and social marketing types (or somewhere else that’s outside of your element), and something just doesn’t sit right with you, it’s just not really a good idea to keep your mouth shut just because you assume they know more than you do. Somebody might roll their eyes just slightly, but when they re-do the shot, there’s a good chance you’ll all agree that it came out better in the end. Trust your gut.
5. About that photo shoot – you’re smarter than you think you are. If you’ve been to almost 20 countries, there’s a good chance you’ll know a little more about some of the clothes worn in those countries than the wardrobe person does. Own your wisdom and then share it graciously.
6. If you finally get off your butt and take a watercolour course after years of staring longingly at the shelves in an art supply store, you might just paint something that people will beg you to make prints of. Quit acting like it was an accident.
7. Sometimes, the answer is “wait”. Being fearless doesn’t mean you should rush headlong into something, or push people around in an attempt to get to your goal. Remember to be gentle on yourself and those you care about (or even those you barely know).
8. Yoga is amazing. You might even find yourself in tears after your first class because it feels so right. Why have you taken so long to try it? Maybe it’s time to give up this belief that you’re too uncoordinated for a class that involves body movement. Perhaps it’s even time to forgive yourself for that unfortunate jazz dance class experience and move on. (It was 20 years ago – get over it!)
9. Sometimes, the best way to succeed is to believe you have something worth sharing and then give it away freely and without reservation. Amazing things can happen when you let go of those things you’re too nervous to expose to the world, or you use your creativity to help someone else succeed.
10. It can really, really hurt when your best attempt at fearlessness is met with rejection or (perhaps worse) indifference. Let yourself wallow for a few minutes, learn from it, go do something else you know you’re really good at for awhile, and then move on.
Note: the photo is of my niece, who’s more fearless than most people I know.