by Heather Plett | Sep 14, 2008 | marriage
Some days you wake up and you realize.
You’ve gotten lost in the mire of too many petty arguments.
Too many “why didn’t you wipe the counter?”
Too much “when are you EVER going to fix the couch?”
Too often focusing on the reasons why he annoys you.
Too few moments when you say “thank you” and mean it.
Worn out, you whisper a little prayer.
“Please god. Help me to remember why I love him.”
But you don’t expect the answer.
Because the next morning it’s the same.
And soon it feels like the only words that come out of either of your mouths
Are words most meant to hurt. To pay back.
You try to remember the words you were taught to say
At that long ago marriage retreat.
“You are not my enemy.”
But they get stuck in your throat.
And then one day
You’re sitting by a waterfall.
You lift your eyes from your book
And you see him climbing off a rock.
Abandoning his fishing rod.
Wading through icy water.
Pausing to help a stranger untangle her fishing line.
And suddenly
You can’t help yourself.
Your eyes fill with tears.
Because you remember.
This.
This is why you let him into your heart.
This is why you said “I do” fifteen years ago.
This is why you decided the risk of “forever” was worth it.
This easy kindness to strangers.
This interest in other people’s lives.
This belief in the value of other people’s stories.
This willingness to pause for the untangling.
The same effortless friendliness
That makes waitresses feel special
And lost boys from single-parent homes remember that they have some value.
And more than that
You remember
That when this same kindness, this same interest,
This same willingness
Is extended to you
Too often you turn it away, reject it
Or stubbornly misinterpret it
Because it wasn’t spoken in the language you thought you needed.
And though you know that someday
You’ll get caught in the mire again
For now
You will remember
And say thank you.
Happy (belated) anniversary, buddy.
Thanks for a lovely weekend.
by Heather Plett | Sep 12, 2008 | Uncategorized
What if I didn’t own a mirror? What if none of us did? What if, each day, I presented myself to you (and you to me) assuming we are each complete and beautiful as we are and that we will accept each other that way?
What version of the Bible do you have to read to believe that torture is validated? What happened to turning the other cheek?
Will I ever be caught up with the laundry? Will the clothes ever end up in drawers again instead of in baskets or on the laundry table?
What if a politician ran a campaign on a “kindness” platform and determined never to slander their opponent or say any mean things? Would any of us listen?
by Heather Plett | Sep 10, 2008 | Uncategorized
Having my picture on the front page of the Christian Week won’t exactly make me a household name, but it’s kinda fun none-the-less. (Although my friend said that the picture makes me look like I’m now a bonafide “Missionary”. Ha!) In the “don’t believe everything you read in the media” file, though (not even the CHRISTIAN media), the article says I was in Bangladesh “helping to distribute rice after Cyclone Sidr.” Not true. The only rice I handled made its way into my own stomach. (With the exception of one plateful after maggots were discovered.)
Oh… and then there’s my poem that came out in the most recent edition of Rhubarb. I think if you click on the image, you can probably read it.
And in today’s edition of the Globe and Mail (a national newspaper in Canada), an essay by yours truly. You can read it here (at least for today – it might not work tomorrow.)
I have one other magazine piece coming out soon, but I’m not sure when.
by Heather Plett | Sep 8, 2008 | Uncategorized
Everybody’s got a few so-and-so’s in their life. You know who they are. It’s the person who always succeeds brilliantly in every area in which you fail. So-and-so has been making my life miserable lately with her “fingernails on a chalkboard” need for perfection.
So-and-so wouldn’t have wasted an hour watching mindless television last night (especially when it was a re-run she’d already seen) and certainly wouldn’t have left 2 loads of clean laundry unfolded for the children to rifle through this morning.
So-and-so doesn’t have a months-old pile of bills gathering dust on top of the microwave – she would have sorted them all and filed them away in crisp neat colour-coded folders. And none of the bills would ever be paid late.
So-and-so wouldn’t have forgotten to go through her daughter’s school supply list one last time, sending her to school without the paper towel, paint shirt, and ziplock bags.
So-and-so would have put the slow-cooker on HIGH on Sunday morning, so that when it was time for potluck, the potatoes in the stew would have been “al dente” rather than rock hard.
So-and-so wouldn’t let her children go to bed with their clothes on – she would ALWAYS have clean, folded pajamas lined up in the appropriate places in their dresser drawers.
So-and-so doesn’t show up at soccer games on rainy days without an umbrella or rain jacket. In fact, so-and-so would probably have extra umbrellas in her car for all the other poor slobs who’d forgotten theirs. Plus a couple of blankets to keep the players warm on the bench. And at the end of the game, she’d pull out rice krispie squares for all the players, with a few extra for their younger siblings.
So-and-so wouldn’t just have good intentions, she’d actually follow through and phone those people who are sick or lonely. She’d probably also bring them a casserole. And wash their floors for them.
So-and-so always stands up to bullies, speaks her mind even when it means risking her reputation, and never hears the words “avoids confrontation” on a performance review.
So-and-so never runs out of money before the end of the pay period, even in September when she has to buy school supplies and new indoor runners for three kids, pay lunch fees, pay soccer registration fees, and pay for music lessons with one pay cheque right after a family vacation. She would have been prepared and stashed money away for just such a rainy day.
So-and-so never feels awkward in a crowd and always knows how to make other people feel comfortable and relaxed. She can start a conversation with anyone and never hurts anyone’s feelings because they think she’s stuck-up and ignores them.
I hate so-and-so.
Some days you wake up and you realize.
