You’re doing WHAT?! You must be crazy!!

“You’re not going to have a lot of people you can talk to about this. There is never a crowd on the leading edge.” — Abraham

The above quote was shared on Facebook this morning by my dear friend and fellow edgewalker, Katharine. When I read it, I breathed a deep sigh of recognition.

Those of us who find our places at the edge, where we are ever watchful for what is emerging and always pushing the boundaries of what’s acceptable and comfortable for the masses, do not hang out in large crowds.

Instead, if we’re brave enough to stay on that edge and do those things our hearts call us to do, we often hear words like “You’re doing what? What does that mean? Why are you wasting time with that? Aren’t there things you could do that you’d make more money at? I don’t understand.”

But edgewalkers can’t move back into the comfort zone where their loved ones want them to be and feel any “real” comfort. They need to be pushing the boundaries, living with the questions, embracing the risk, and being true to the restless wanderer at their core.

For an edgewalker, true comfort is in discomfort.

An edgewalker needs the edge. Like a bird needs the sky. Like a fish needs the water.

Finding your place feels authentic and energizing, but it can also feel awfully lonely. It’s hard to explain this driving need to be at the edge. People in the centres of the crowd don’t understand. They want to draw you back into the crowd, for their comfort and yours.

What do you do when you know you’re called to the edge and nobody around seems to understand?

Find other edgewalkers.

Reach out to people with common questions. Go to gathering places where edgewalkers congregate. Enter conversations on social media. Ask someone you admire out for coffee. Take relationship risks.

Dare to tell your story and ask your questions in public. Lots of people will look at you strangely, and sometimes you’ll go home feeling dejected and embarrassed, but more often than not, there will be at least one person in the room who will take you aside (possibly in secret) and say “you said the words I most needed to hear tonight.”

Chances are, there won’t be throngs of people, because the other people in the room are still clinging to comfort, but all you need is a handful of people to make a circle.

Find your circle and then take even more bold steps toward the edge.

Turning 46 and offering 10 mandala sessions for $46 each

It’s my birthday. I’m 46. There’s a very good chance I’ve passed the halfway point of my life. I think I may have just stepped over the crest of the proverbial hill.

But you know what? The view from here looks pretty spectacular! I can see lots of hills and valleys still ahead of me. And a lot of aimless afternoons spent wandering in the woods. A lot of late evenings lost in meaningful conversations with great people. A lot of adventures in unexplored places.  A lot of good books still to read. A lot of fascinating people still to meet. A lot of failures still to live through. A lot of triumphs to celebrate. A lot of disappointments. A lot of love.

Forty-six feels pretty darn good. Sitting here in the early hours of the morning while my family sleeps, I can tell you one thing for sure – I have never felt more content about who I am and what I’m offering the world than I feel right now. My forty-sixth year was full of a great deal of personal exploration and a fair bit of struggle, but it was all very good, because I feel more confident than ever about what I am called to do.

One of the things I am called to do is to help guide people on the path through chaos to creativity. That’s going to be the the tagline on my new website (that I’d hoped to unveil today, but decided I didn’t want to rush it). I’m excited about it because it feels like clarity and a little more focus.

I know a lot about chaos and a lot about creativity. I have been through both places on the journey many times, and I will visit those places many more times in this spiralling journey of life.

As I step into the next year of my life, I have more and more confidence that I am being called to serve as a guide in this journey. There are many people stuck in chaos who feel lost or frantic or frustrated. Maybe you’re one of them. Maybe you need someone to help you shift your perspective, to begin to see the chaos or brokenness or lostness as a valuable part of the journey. Or to begin to invite creativity into the shadowy places. That’s where I come in.

One of the tools I use to help examine the chaos and invite creativity into the space is the mandala. There are so many things we can learn when we sit down with paper, coloured markers, our intuitions, and our openness.

In honour of my 46th birthday, I’d like to offer 10 people the opportunity to have mandala sessions with me for $46 each. One time sessions are normally $100, so that’s less than half price. If you’re curious about them, read more here. (In case you’re wondering, these sessions are usually done over Skype or the phone, so you can do them from anywhere in the world.)

This is powerful, chaos-shifting work (that’s much bigger than me – I am simply a conduit) and I know that a lot of people will find value in it. One of my most fascinating experiences has been a series of sessions I did with Dr. Kay Vogt, a psychologist who found me through a listserv we’re both on. After a series of sessions and many mandalas, Kay experienced a profound shift in her life. Here’s what she said about the work we did together, “Our work together has been extremely powerful for me. As a professional doing something similar to what you do it takes a lot to impress me. I am very grateful for your mentoring. You have been a coach’s coach for me.”

In case the idea of mandalas scares you a bit, let me assure you of this – you need no artistic talent whatsoever to do this. This is not about making art. It makes no difference what your finished piece looks like.  It’s about using a creative tool to explore some of things that your right brain wants to discover that are sometimes buried under left brain logic. It’s simply a tool for deeper self-discovery that goes hand-in-hand with the heart-opening conversation we’ll have.

If this feels like something you’d value, book a session for $46 and let’s go on an exploration together.

Discounted price no longer available. You’re welcome to book one for the usual price of $100. 

Note: If you’re curious about the mandala at the top of the page, it’s my birthday mandala. I wanted to do something to represent 46 years of growth (there are 46 tendrils growing from the centre) and 46 years of being who I am (there are 46 words around the edge that represent what I love and value).

I count my riches in the number of meaningful conversations I’ve had

This morning I posted this as my Facebook status:

If we change the definition of wealth to the number of great conversations we’ve had, then my annual income is well above average.

In the last week alone, I have corresponded with interesting people in the Philippines, Turkey, western USA, Sweden, Vancouver Island, and many places in between. Almost every day, I have a heart-opening Skype call or two with people in different time zones from me. I am indeed a rich woman.

This morning I was looking through my past writing, and I came across this piece that I wrote last year as a guest post for my friend Sherri Garrity. It reminded me once again of the importance of connecting with our “joy people”. (As a side note, Sherri is one of my joy people, and we’re cooking up something interesting together that may or may not include mandalas and horses.)

Networking, or Connecting with your Joy People?

“I hate networking. It gives me hives.”

That’s what I would have told you at the beginning of this self-employment journey. It was one of the things I dreaded most about self-employment. I got so stressed out about it that it almost kept me from making the leap from my job into my business.

My friend Desiree laughed. “What do you mean you hate networking? You met me on Twitter, didn’t you? What do you think you were doing when you started chatting with me?”

“But that’s different,” I said. “That was just about making friends with someone I felt drawn to. That didn’t have any of the ickiness of networking because I wasn’t trying to get you to hire me or buy something from me.”

“It’s time for a little re-framing,” she said. (Desiree’s a straight-shooter – it’s what I like about her.) “Change your definition of networking. Instead of thinking about networking, start thinking about how you can attract your joy people.”

Joy people? I was skeptical. How would attracting joy people help me build my business? It sounded like a nice way to make friends (seeking out people who add to the joy in my life), but what did that have to do with business?

Setting Desiree’s advice aside, I went to a few of those business club meet-and-greets, where your primary goal is to get your business card into the hands of as many people as possible. They weren’t horrible (a lot of people are genuinely nice, quite frankly), but I walked away wondering what was the point of handing my business card to a bunch of plumbers, construction contractors, printers, and mortgage brokers. I was trying to build a business as a writer, retreat facilitator, and communicator – none of the people around the table were looking for the kind of services I was offering.

I kept going though, because I thought that’s the way you’re “supposed” to network when you’re starting a business.

And then one day, at one of those luncheons, when people were going around the table handing out business cards and stroking each other’s backs for bringing them business, I thought “these are not my joy people.” It’s not that they weren’t good people (and probably someone else’s joy people), they just weren’t MY joy people.

It took me awhile, but I finally took Desiree’s advice. No, let me rephrase that… I finally realized that the stuff I was doing all along, making friends with people online and in person who felt like MY people, with similar interests and passions as me, wasn’t just a sideline to building my business it WAS building my business.

It all started with an e-book. I had this bright idea that I would gather wisdom from a bunch of people I admired (my joy people) and I would compile it into an e-book. This wasn’t a money-making venture, but rather it was a way to attract people to my blog and get them to sign up for my newsletter. In the end, 21 wise and wonderful people  contributed to the e-book, and the thing I hadn’t fully anticipated was that these people would all take pride in the book themselves, and they’d tell all of THEIR joy people and suddenly the word would spread much further than I could spread it myself.

In less than two weeks, more than 500 people had signed up for my newsletter and downloaded the e-book. I suddenly had 500 people on an email list that hadn’t even existed before. That was 500 people who were interested in what I was putting out into the world – a whole lot more than I’d ever meet at business club meet and greets.

Then I had another bright idea. I’d attended ALIA (Authentic Leadership in Action) the year before (when I was employed and someone else was fitting the bill) and it was the kind of place that attracted a whole lot of my joy people. These are big-thinking, world-changing people who believe in social justice, beauty, art, music, dance, community, creativity, and leadership – all things I’m passionate about. I dreamed of going again this year, but knew I couldn’t afford it, what with giving up a steady salary and training budget and building a new business.

I put on my best creative, entrepreneurial thinking cap and came up with an idea. I emailed the executive director and suggested a trade – I would offer them my communications and social media expertise to help promote ALIA if they would cover the cost of my registration.

Not only did they like my idea, but they came up with something even better than I could have imagined. They wanted me to interview faculty members about their ideas for ALIA’s theme, “Change for Good”. In other words, I got to speak with some of the most creative thinkers in the world (these are top notch people, most of whom have several published books and have consulted all over the world) in advance of the conference!

Talk about attracting my joy people! These were the kind of joy people I’d only DREAMED of connecting with when I’d started imagining this new business. These were the kind of people who made any attempts at networking at a local business club seem pointless and a waste of my energy.

Suddenly “joy people” was starting to make sense. I was building my business and my contacts in a way that brought me great joy and connected me with people who were part of that joy.

A little bit of randomness

These days, with a few transitions going on (ending my teaching for the season and starting a few new contracts) I’m having a hard time focusing on writing a blog post. Yesterday I remembered how much I used to love to write random posts. Brain dumps, I suppose they are.

So here you go… a few random things on my mind… and a bonus picture.

1. I wish the season of flowering trees weren’t so fleeting.

2. There’s a deer who seems to have made her home in the small piece of woods a block from my house, but I’m afraid she may be injured. Each time I wander through those woods I see her, and the last time she seemed to be walking with pain.

3. Speaking of those woods, I will cry if someone ever arrives to bulldoze them down.

4. I am happy to be immersed in the world of non-profits, sustainable living, and international development once again with my new contract work.

5. Yes, I have new work and it couldn’t have come at a better time. Plus it’s work that excites me.

6. I need a healthier routine for my mornings.

7. I need a healthier life in general. I’ve gotten lazy lately, in more ways than one.

8. The downside of walking 100 km last fall is that for about a month afterwards, my feet hurt too much for regular exercise, and then I got out of the habit again.

9. I think I will get off this computer shortly and go to the woods to see if I can find the deer again. I like to sit quietly and stare at it while it stares back at me.

10. I have had some lovely emails from students lately, and most of them say something to the effect of  “You did so much more than teach us to be better writers. You taught us how to live.” That makes me very happy.

11. One of my students posted a photo of me and him on Instagram, with the caption “Favourite teacher of all time.” Smile.

12.Speaking of Instagram, I love it.

13. It’s like peeking through little windows into people’s lives.

14. My kids tease me that my iPhone isn’t really a phone, it’s a camera.

15. They’re right.

16. I taught grade 5 and 6 students how to make mandalas yesterday. It was great fun.

17. Right around grade 6, I’m afraid, we begin to develop our self-consciousness around whether our art is “good”.

18. Around that same time, we start losing some of our natural tendency for play.

19. We need to re-learn it, because play is transformative.

20. I think I may have found the perfect venue for a day of play time with grown-ups. A big comfy room with a huge wall of windows that looks out into the woods. Stay tuned.

21. I am working on a new website, combining this one with what I have at heatherplett.com.

22. The new website really represents a new business focus. I think I’ve finally found something that focuses me but still leaves wide open space for exploration and creativity.

23. As you can tell, focus is not my strong suit.

24. Squirrel!

25. That was a reference from the movie “Up”, in case you missed it.

26. What are you doing in August? I hope you’ll join me here.

27. I need to find some nearby office space for the summer. I won’t get much done in the house when my family is here every day. Any ideas?

28. I am aching for an overseas trip.

29. Really, REALLY aching. When I look at pictures from my trips to India or Africa, or someone tells me a story from some place interesting, the longing shows up in an instant clench in my stomach.

30. I have been incredibly lucky to travel to interesting places in my life.

31. I will be lucky again, I’m sure of it.

32. I hope I can take my kids on an overseas trip some day, before they start moving into lives more separate from mine.

33. I am not very good at blogging for business purposes.

34. I’m much better at just having conversations.

35. It’s the same way I teach – I prefer conversations to lectures.

36. I need to get off this computer now, go walk in the woods for a little while, and then dive into my work.

37. Today’s focus will be figuring out how I can help this amazing organization promote this incredible sustainable building apprenticeship program and this one. Know anyone who’d be interested?

38. I like you. Thanks for reading.

39. What’s happening in your life?

40. I don’t like ending lists on uneven numbers.

 

 

 

On the path, for better or for worse

This morning was hard. I was letting the monsters win.

I was struggling with the usual not-good-enough-itis. You know the drill.

I decided it was time to go for a walk. When the monsters start winning, it’s usually a sure sign that I need to get my body moving and I need to be in nature for awhile.

Unfortunately, the moment I left the house, I got a phone call that made matters worse. It was one of those “bad news – you owe more money than you thought” kind of phone calls, and it plunged me even deeper into the monsters’ lair. The tears started flowing as I walked. And then it started raining, which seemed fitting. I kept walking. Oddly enough, walking in the rain often helps my mood.

As I walked down my favourite woodland path, I started beating myself up with old stories. “Why aren’t you better with money? Why couldn’t you have been satisfied with those well paid, upwardly mobile jobs you’ve had in the past? Why aren’t you more successful at this self-employment thing?”

As my friend Desiree said the other day (and I think she was quoting Pam Slim), I was doing some serious “story-fondling”.

Things got worse. I started ranting at God. “Why did you have to choose this particular path for me? Why did you make me so restless that I keep looking for the  next journey I need to take? Why did I get stuck with a journey that takes me through so many hard places? Why didn’t you make me an accountant so I wouldn’t have to worry about money? Why didn’t you make me more like those friends who are still content in the perfectly good jobs I left years ago? Why do I have to experience so much brokenness?”

Oh yeah, the monsters were having a party.

And then I spotted something on the woodland path. A small fish. Perfectly placed in the middle of the path, looking like he had climbed out of the river, slithered along the ground for about 200 feet and stopped to catch a breath on the path, only to find that he could no longer breathe. There was a look of surprise in his eyes.

fish out of water

You see the metaphor here, don’t you?

A fish out of water.

Exactly what I would be if I had chosen the path of accountant, or stayed on the path of government management.

Dead on a path that wasn’t mine. Unable to breathe because I was meant for other things.

Fish need water. Birds need the sky. Worms need the soil. Rabbits need the earth.

Artists need to paint. Dancers need to dance. Accountants need spreadsheets. Scientists need test tubes.

Take a path that’s not meant for you, and you can never be fully alive.

And with that, the monsters began to retreat. All I needed was a dead fish on the path to remind me not to listen to them.

A little further on the path, I found a small pink pillow hanging from a tree. On it were the words “The Princess is In”. Hmmmm… do you think I should find a metaphor in that too? Smile.

An interesting side note: I’m in the process of creating a new website that offers a little more clarity and focus for my work, and, even before this morning’s wandering, I’d settled on language that relates to serving as “your guide along the path through chaos to creativity”. If you’re having trouble finding your path and would like a guide, check out my services, and contact me.

Pin It on Pinterest