After wasting way too much time trying to create a new template, I finally succeeded! Yay! Using the generic ones was starting to make me twitch. It was kind of like settling for the cheap waxy chocolate when what you REALLY want is the good stuff.
It’s not perfect, but I’m not going to obsess about it any longer.
They called them the four horsemen. Marcel and three of his friends were inseparable as kids and teenagers. They played hockey together, rode their first motorcycles together, and when they were old enough to leave home, three of them shared a house and the fourth was a frequent visitor. I started dating Marcel around this time, the others also started longer term relationships, some moved to different cities, and as friends do, they drifted apart.
One of the four horsemen died yesterday. He crashed into a tree on his brother’s motorcycle. He leaves behind two young sons, similar in age to our children.
He was the wildest of the four horsemen – always living life close to the edge. He knew how to have fun, kept the music loud and the party hopping. He was alot of fun to be around, with his energy and zest for life. When he stood up to speak at the open mike at our wedding, half of the room groaned for fear that he would roast Marcel with wild stories that would make his new in-laws cringe. He was respectful though, despite the temptation I’m sure he fought.
Brad will be missed by those who knew him – the other three horsemen and all his other friends and family. Today Marcel’s dad, who manages the cemetery in their small town, had to meet with Brad’s parents to arrange for a burial plot. Parents shouldn’t have to bury their forty year old son.
And it gets worse. When Marcel phoned his cousin to tell him the bad news, he found out that another person he’d grown up, a neighbour and relative, was killed while crossing the street in Virginia. He was a long distance truck driver. He’d stopped his truck and was walking across the street to visit a convenience store.
Another family has to bury their son in the same small town this week. Another burial plot for Marcel’s dad to arrange for.
Two funerals in one week is too much for one small town.
silence is my friend today
silence that’s wrapped in the gentle noises of other people’s lives
I chose it, this silence
because it feeds me
gives me nourishment for the rest of my noisy life
I walked away from busy streets
and found this sanctuary of silence
a walk through the cemetery
soft moss beneath me on concrete steps
a duck floating on the pond
children laughing at the donkey eating a carrot
a girl with funky jewellery in animated conversation
young girls running through the grass
the big docile dog on a leash
venders selling carrots, apple juice, and buckwheat honey
trees shedding yesterday’s leaves
an abandoned plastic halloween mask on the bench beside me
remnants of other noisy lives
searching for sanctuary in this green and sacred space
here in this silence
I am not failure or coward
I am not mother or boss
I am not tripping over my mistakes
I am not forgetting to be compassionate
I am not foolish or incompetent
I am only
the woman with the notebook
sitting alone
keeping company with silence
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXEkioRKry0]
So glad some of you missed me a little. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.
The trip was good. Mostly. There were a few times I wanted to whack somebody up-side the head (like last night when I almost didn’t get a flight home because they’d over-booked the flight), but there were a lot more times when I wanted to hug somebody, so the good out-weighed the bad.
Mostly, I wanted to hug Karla, but because I was suffering from a whopper of a cold, I resisted for fear of infecting her with whatever bug has been dragging my body through the mud. Karla is just what I imagined, proving that you CAN get to know someone in a genuine way in cyber-space. She is gracious, smart, kind, funny, and compassionate. She has a deep soul that makes me want to know her more. I can’t wait until the next time I am in Toronto to see her with her baby, because I KNOW she will be an amazing mom. Thanks for making time for me Karla! I’m glad I can call you friend. (Perhaps I’ll post a blogger-meet-up photo later, once I get around to downloading the pics.)
What else did I do in Toronto? Mostly meetings (and I won’t bore you with the details of those), but I managed to find some good quality time for wandering. Almost by accident, I stumbled on Riverdale Farm which was quite close to my bed and breakfast. It did this farmer’s daughter’s heart good to see cows and horses and pigs and chickens in downtown Toronto. By lucky coincidence, the weekly farmer’s market was happening the day I stopped by, so I sat and enjoyed a cup of freshly squeezed apple juice and a delicious home-made pecan square.
I also got together with my old and dear friend Laurel, which was a treat. Laurel and I didn’t see each other for years (probably more than 10), but then when I was in Toronto last year I reconnected with her, and it was one of those reunions that you hope for, when all the missed years slip away and you are once again in the comfortable presence of a well-loved soulmate. Laurel has one of the greatest, heartwarming laughs that makes the room sparkle. Except for the unfortunate bird poop that landed in her hair while she cycled to meet me, it was a perfectly delightful time.
Another highlight of the trip was staying at this lovely bed and breakfast in downtown Toronto. I slept in a beautiful room that had a Tibetan feel to it, with rich orange and gold tones and photos and textiles to match. The hostess was everything a bed and breakfast hostess should be, and the breakfasts were treats for the taste buds.
Unfortunately, Maddie got even more sick while I was away, and ended up with a ruptured ear drum, so the trip was not without its moments of Mommy-guilt. Fortunately, I knew she was in good hands with her daddy, so I didn’t let it ruin the trip.
Perhaps this weekend I will find the time to drop in at your cyber-homes and catch up on all the posts I missed while I was away.
I’m leaving on a business trip to Toronto tonight, so I’ll drop out of sight for a few days. I’ll be staying in a lovely bed & breakfast in downtown Toronto in a turn-of-the-century character home, so I don’t expect I’ll have internet access. Last year I stayed in a similar B&B on a business trip, and after that I’ve been determined to skip the boring corporate hotels as often as I can and find interesting B&B’s instead.
I like business trips, as long as they’re not too long (this one’s 3 nights – about the perfect length), I have a bit of free time wherever I’m going, and the destination is a reasonably interesting place. There’s always good and bad in every trip. Here’s what I’m looking forward to and not looking forward to on this particular trip:
Looking forward to:
– The plane rides. I like flying.
– People-watching in airport lobbies.
– Sleeping through the night (hopefully) without any kid interruptions. (I had to change sheets AGAIN last night.)
– Wandering.
– Seeing my friend Laurel. She’s one of my oldest (by that I mean longest, not that she’s old) friends and we have a whole lot of history together. We built teepees in the bush behind our house when we were kids, rode horses, went trick-or-treating on her Halloween birthday, went back-packing in the mountains together when we were all grown up, were roommates twice (in Banff and Winnipeg), and a whole lot in between. Then she moved out East and we haven’t seen each other much since.
– Getting to meet Karla. Yay!
– Going to a Famous People Players show (part of a staff retreat).
– Reading a book uninterrupted.
– Eating in restaurants.
– Some quiet space for just me. Rejuvenation.
Not looking forward to:
– Too many meetings.
– Two of them are full day meetings which I have to facilitate. Sometimes I enjoy that, but sometimes it feels like it’s too much responsibility. This is one of those times.
– My agenda’s too full. There’s not enough time for wandering and meeting people. (Sorry Dale – maybe another time.)
– Being “the boss”. One of the meetings is an annual staff retreat with all of my national staff. Sometimes that feels too heavy for me.
– One particular discussion that has to happen but I know in advance that nobody will agree on it. Blech.
– I’ve been sick for the last 4 days and I’m still coughing and feeling like my head might explode. Flying might not be so much fun after all.
– I’m tired. I hate starting trips already tired. But Maddie has been even more sick than me and consequently, I’ve had rotten nights for about a week now.
– Missing my family. Maddie has been rather cuddly since starting daycare, and I know she’ll miss me more than usual since she’s still adjusting to the change.
Bye for now!
First of all, why don’t you wander on over to my daughter’s blog to see the medal her team won for the district championship for soccer? It was an exciting game to watch, and I’m proud to say that my daughter has the strongest kick on the whole team. And I’m not just saying that because I’m biased. She’s the designated kicker – whenever there’s a corner kick or penalty kick or free kick, the coach calls on her to do her magic. Yes, I’m a proud mom, and I’m going to miss watching her run across the soccer field. It’s a thing of beauty.
And since we’re talking about other blogs, why don’t I introduce you to some of my new friends?
I stumbled upon Joyce, over at Chronicles of Blunderview, but clicking on one of her clever comments at someone else’s blog. When I started perusing her blog, I spotted a picture of her and one of her sisters and realized that I knew her. Joyce was also working in Banff the summer I learned to fold a perfect towel. But don’t visit Joyce just because I know who she is – visit her because she knows how to turn a phrase. She turns pain into beauty with her words and she’ll keep you coming back for more. The first time I read her writing I was in awe.
I think I visited Amber’s blog because of the name – Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck. She’s a fellow Canadian, but she’s living in the States with her hubby and kids. Amber can turn ordinary events in life into brilliant, funny little vignettes. And I’ve got blog envy, ’cause she has one of those unique, attractive blogs instead of a plain old generic template.
Gina turned me on to Wordgirl over at Half of the Sky. Gina said she was a great writer, and she was right. She knows words and she knows how to string them together. Sometimes I read one of her sentences and I wonder if I should bother ever writing again.
I want to be Laura’s friend. I think she’d be a hoot to hang out with. She is just so likeable, and honest, and smart – all the things I look for in a friend. And she’s a great writer too – she’ll make you weep some days and laugh out loud other days.
Oops. I forgot to update J’s blog on my bloglines, so now it looks like I have some catching up to do. She’s just created a new attractive space and it’s worth visiting for the attractive look, the great writing, and the great recipes. This girl knows food and my mouth waters at some of her recipes and restaurant reviews.
What can I say about Melissa from Waking Up? She will draw you in almost as soon as you step into her blog home. She is one of those rare writers who dares to (figuratively, of course) cut open her chest and let you see deep into her soul. She’s refreshingly honest, and the fun part is, she throws in a whole truckload of sarcasm to keep you laughing.
In case you think I spend WAY too much time on blogs (like my husband is starting to think), I’d better stop there. If you didn’t make it onto the list, it’s probably because I consider you an “old” friend instead of a new one. 🙂
p.s. I am SO sick of these blogger templates, but I don’t have the talent or the time to create my own. If anyone knows any “blog templates for dummies” tips to pass my way, let me know.