You, in the second story window,
look not to the concrete beneath you,
look not to the fire behind you,
look not to the impossibility around you.
Jump, and I’ll break your fall.
Your past is burning,
and the next step will cause you pain, but
you must choose, this moment, to live.
Jump, and I’ll break your fall.
Look to my eyes for courage.
Look to my body for softening.
Look to my arms for kindness.
Jump, and I’ll break your fall.
Commit to this moment
and my body will commit with you.
Commit to your future
and I won’t let you start alone.
Commit to this choice
and I’ll absorb some of your pain.
Jump, and I’ll break your fall.
If you’d asked me a year ago, when I was in the process of leaving my job, what I’d be doing now, probably the last thing I would have said would be that I’d be producing a guidebook for engaging in social media in a meaningful and mindful way.
And yet… I’ve just written that very guidebook and now it’s ready to be released into the world.
I don’t consider myself a social media expert by any stretch of the imagination, and most of the time I feel like I’m still stumbling in the dark. So why am I releasing this guidebook?
For a few reasons:
1. In the last six months, I have been asked by half a dozen people for help in stepping into social media and developing online profiles. Every time I was asked, I’d stammer and say “but… I’m not an expert, I just do what comes naturally and I make friends online. I don’t have a clue how to get larger readerships or how to do fancy things online.” And they say “you’re exactly the kind of person I want helping me. Someone who will offer me friendly advice without going over my head or encouraging me to do things that don’t feel right for me.” Since I like the people who asked, I started putting some thoughts on paper and before long, I had a guidebook.
2. I’ve been hired by the university to teach an introductory workshop in social media engagement. They apparently think I have a clue what I’m doing. When I started preparing for the course, I realized I knew more than I thought I did. Those thoughts added more ideas to my guidebook.
3. I’ve been witnessing some of the icky stuff happening online, like the suicide of someone who built an empire online, a strange relationship that resulted in possible death threats or at least some weird behaviour on the part of more than one “social media guru”, and more than one house of cards tumbling. Watching all of this was a strong reminder to me that we need to continue to foster meaningful relationships online and stay away from snake oil salespeople and emperors with no clothes, and we need to work hard to put good things into the world. I believe I have some wisdom to offer in terms of following your intuition, building trust online, and living authentic lives, so I added those thoughts to the guidebook.
Before long, I had something worth offering.
If you want to learn more, go here. It’s just $15 for a one time download, cheap enough that if you want to offer it as a gift to that aunt who keeps bugging you to teach her how to use Facebook, you can do so without breaking the bank.
?”I’m not a teacher: only a fellow-traveler of whom you asked the way. I pointed ahead – ahead of myself as well as you.” – George Bernard Shaw
I’m proud to say that I come from a long line of pacifists. My Mennonite ancestors decided that they would rather seek peace than participate in war and that became a tenement of our faith.
Uncle Menno with his granddaughter
Not only do I have pacifist blood running through my veins, but I have lots of models in my family tree of how to live justly, humbly and with mercy. One of those models is my Uncle Menno, a man who has spent most of his adult life serving people in various African countries. (He currently lives in Nairobi, Kenya with his wife Lydia.)
When I first considered entering the field of international development, I visited my Uncle Menno for wise words of advice. I deeply respect the wisdom he has gained in his lifelong commitment to living out his faith by serving to make the world a more just and peaceful place.
Today, in honour of the International Day of Peace, I’m posting a piece that Uncle Menno wrote.
War – What is it Good For?
by Menno Plett
I’m sitting here enjoying a cup of tea from a mug we received in Zimbabwe many years ago. On the mug is a dove, with the inscription Let There Be Peace. As I work at my computer, I’m listening to the hauntingly beautiful voice of Joan Baez, singing Bob Dylan’s song, With God on our Side.
As I sit here alone, listening to the words of the song, reflecting on the state of the world, our place in it, and more specifically, what we have dedicated our life to, I begin to cry.
Here are the words, written by Dylan in 1963, at the height of the Vietnam War.
Oh my name it is nothin’My age it means lessThe country I come fromIs called the MidwestI’s taught and brought up thereThe laws to abideAnd the land that I live in Has God on its side.Oh the history books tell itThey tell it so wellThe cavalries chargedThe Indians fellThe cavalries chargedThe Indians diedOh the country was youngWith God on its side.The Spanish-AmericanWar had its dayAnd the Civil War tooWas soon laid awayAnd the names of the heroesAre us to memorizeWith guns in their handsAnd God on their side.Well the First World War, boysIt came and it went And The reason for fightingI never did getBut I learned to accept itAnd Accept it with prideFor you don’t count the deadWhen God’s on your side.And Second World WarIt Came to an endWe forgave the GermansAnd called them our friendsThough they murdered six millionIn the ovens they friedNow The Germans now tooHave God on their side.For I’ve learned to hate RussiansAll through my whole lifeIf another war comesIt’s them we must fightTo hate them and fear themTo run and to hideAnd accept it all bravelyWith God on my side.But now we got weaponsOf the chemical dust (And) it fire them we’re forced toThen fire them we mustOne push of the buttonAnd a shot the world wideAnd you never ask questionsWhen God’s on your side.For many dark hoursI thought about thisThat Jesus ChristWas betrayed by a kissBut I can’t think for youYou’ll have to decideWhether Judas IscariotHad God on his side.And now as I’m leavin’I’m weary as HellThe confusion I’m feelin’Ain’t no tongue can tellThe words fill my headThey fall to the floorAs God is on our sideHe’ll stop the next war.
This song holds a lot of meaning for me. The title refers to Paul’s Epistle to the Romans in the first century, “If God is for us, who can be against us?”, written in a context of intense persecution, referencing Jesus’ victory through death. This statement has then been reinterpreted through the centuries in the context of war.
So why cry? My emotions well up within me when I think of the futility of war, and the devastation suffered by millions over the years. The song I’m listening to points out the absurdity of rationalizing that God picks sides. We have somehow convinced ourselves that our colour, our ethnicity, our nationality, our religion, our position in life, is in some way more special in God’s eyes than the colour, ethnicity, nationality and religion of others. The same God who created all men in his image cannot recognize these man made distinctions.
We have spent the better part of our life working with people who have suffered from war; working with people who have experienced death, loss and injury; working with people who are picking up the pieces after war.
I think of working alongside people in Liberia, Sierra Leone, Wau in South Sudan, Darfur in North Sudan, Rwanda and the DRC. I remember, too, working with First Nations people confined to reservations in Northern Canada, and those locked in cycles of poverty in affluent Canadian cities – a reminder of what we have done to a people who were once hunting and trapping freely in our vast and rich land.
Currently our attention is riveted on the Horn of Africa, which is suffering a terrible drought, made worse in Somalia by ongoing clan fighting, leaving millions with no place to go for safety.
So what is the point of war, really? What good is it? Who gains? For a properly researched response, we would need to look at each war in turn to come up with the answers to those questions. We know that a few gain immensely from war, but the masses lose.
Wars are too often about religion. Christians fighting Muslims. Muslim sects fighting each other. Dare I say Christians attacking and killing ‘fellow’ Christians? My own people were martyred by the thousands in far off Europe, for departing from the strictures and theology of state-sanctioned churches. Our people interpreted scripture in a way that was not accepted by the political and church powers of the day, and this resulted in efforts to exterminate them.
So where does all this leave me as I sit here alone, in Nairobi, crying for a broken world?
Tonight I am anticipating the arrival of our children and their dear one year old daughter (our only and most special granddaughter), and I am determined as ever to continue living a life that promotes peace and not war. In spite of what I have seen, in spite of peoples’ failure to live in peace, I want to live a life that exudes hope. I want my life to reflect my desire to promote life and not death.
I want to continue working with people who are promoting peace, not war. I want to continue working with people who are helping relieve suffering from war. I want to continue assisting people who suffer from others’ aggression.
I want to continue working for a better world, as naïve as that may sound. But why? Well, it is a response to God’s call on my life. It is for the sake of our children and our granddaughter. That is what I have been called to do. That is what we have all been called to do, wherever we are and whatever we are involved with. For the sake of all that is good, for the sake of God who gives us meaning and purpose, for your own sake and the sake of those whose lives you touch, I urge you to work and live for life, not death.
The further I’ve gotten into the work of helping leaders explore their feminine wisdom, the more I’ve been encouraged by how many other people are feeling similar tugs toward the same work. One of the greatest principles at the heart of this work is that WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER! We have abandoned old business models that tell us to be wary of the competition and have embraced new models that see us reaching out to like-minded people doing the same work so that we can grow it together.
Mary Stacey is one of those people. Together with two other women, Mary will be hosting a workshop called Leading Full Circle in Toronto at the end of September that I would highly encourage you to consider attending. I invited Mary to write a guest post to tell us about the work she’s doing.
Mary Stacey holds the founding vision for Leading Full Circle and is the managing director of Context Consulting Inc., which partners with clients at the intersection of strategy, leadership and change. Guided by her belief that women’s leadership is urgently needed in today’s business environment and larger culture, she works with women in senior roles and executive education programs who want to more fully express their potential.
Every day we see more indicators that our world is fundamentally changing. Conventional systems are giving way and we cannot yet see what is emerging. Among the calls for alternatives, we often hear that somehow women—and the leadership they bring—can be pivotal for the future. Former Secretary General of the United Nations Kofi Annan went so far as to say the future of the world depends on women.
Business schools heeding the call have increased their offering of women’s leadership programs. I notice that most of these are heavily weighted in the paradigm of the dominant masculine, and I can’t imagine that this is what we intend when we call for women’s leadership. It seems to me that what’s needed are women (and men) who can situationally draw on their masculine and feminine capacities, bringing focused action and connected compassion in right balance to address complex and uncertain situations. I remember once hearing Gloria Steinem say that women benefit from temporary, separate places where they are central and not peripheral. Creating ‘spaces of their own’ for women leaders allows them to reclaim the feminine and consciously integrate it with the masculine. In these environments women can develop new and powerful practices that are so urgently needed for business, community, and societal change.
We are also living, for the first time in organizational history, in a context where four generations bring their distinct worldviews, motivations, and preferred styles to work. So far, most organizations have taken a managerial view of this reality by segmenting the generations into Traditionals, Boomers, X’s, and Y’s and then focusing on address the conflict that exists between them. This approach leads to polarization rather than a more open and collaborative way of being together, such as I’ve seen emerge in our Multigenerational Leadership Exchange. In this ‘multi-gen lab’ we’ve seen many examples of how multigenerational leadership is a potent human resource and catalyst for change. Multigenerational leadership seems to naturally find the way through complex challenges. In our work we feel so strongly about the potential of multigenerational leadership we’ve declared that multigenerational learning is a core design principle for the future of leadership development.
I’ve wondered what might be possible if a multigenerational web of women who intentionally focus on their individual and collective leadership began weaving itself into our personal, community, and professional lives. Could this web initiate a new paradigm for leadership, integrating the masculine-feminine in service of a more just and sustainable world? Could it be a powerful source of energy and conscious wisdom that acts on behalf of seven generations to come?
Last spring I had the opportunity to begin exploring these questions as I joined with colleagues Sandy McMullen and Reilly Dow to offer Leading Full Circle – Women in Multigenerational Leadership. Twenty women between 19 – 68 from the corporate and non-profit sectors gathered over two days to explore their leadership through mutual mentoring, embodiment practice, and artistic expression. For all its deep intention, the program came to life in a very practical way. Women addressed real questions about their leadership, they formed new relationships to more meaningfully interweave their life and career, and they developed practical catalytic capabilities that they could apply immediately.
Near the end of the two days each woman made her unique gesture on an abstract expressionist painting that she’d created. Twenty vibrant works of art were created that day, representing the women’s shared intention to embody their learning about the transformative power of women’s multigenerational leadership.
Here’s what a few women said about their experience:
I leave the program so hopeful for the future- not only because of the younger women, but also because of the generation ahead of me.
~Jennifer Williams, Director, Unitron
This multigenerational women’s leadership program has been a powerful living experience for me; each one of us a teacher, coming to an understanding that wisdom in leadership comes from mutual mentoring.”
~Victoria Grant, Teme-Augama Anishnabai and President, Moving Red Canoe
The artistic practice allowed me to discover new sides of myself.
~McKenna Wild, Account Coordinator, Environics
The mutual mentoring was exceptionally moving for me. It helped me to understand my strengths in leadership.
~Lyndsay Macdonald, Student, Ryerson University
On Sept 30-Oct 1 we’ll be convening our next gathering of women in Toronto. We’re beginning to sense the fullness of what multigenerational networks of women leaders can offer their organizations, communities and to future generations. If you feel the program is right for you at this time, we invite you to complete an application and join us.
1. Pack a few canoes with everything you’ll need to survive for the next few days. Together with 8 other adventurous women (who aren’t afraid to pee in the woods), paddle across three lakes, carry the canoes and all of your provisions across two portages, and at the end of a long, arduous, but beautiful day, set up camp at the edge of the lake in the middle of the wilderness where you will see no other signs of human habitation for the next few days.
2. Sit around a campfire with those women, telling stories and eating food that could possibly be the most delicious food you’ve ever tasted because it was well earned and well prepared and you are outdoors. Finish off your meals with roasted marshmallows and tea or hot chocolate that may or may not have a few twigs floating in it.
3. After the hard work of paddling, spend a day or two doing little else but playing in the water at the lovely sandy beach down a short path from your campsite, and reading your way through a good book or two. As an added bonus, drag your therma-rest out of your tent, prop it up like a reclining chair on a rock under the shade-giving trees with a view of the lake, and create a comfortable little nest where you can curl up with your book.
4. In the morning, go down to that private beach where nobody but the loons can see you, take off all your clothes, and wade into the crystal clear water. Float, swim, tread water, stare down at your feet (visible through the impossibly clear water), and feel yourself deeply connected to the water, the trees, and the loons playing at the edge of the water. As you float, consider that this is how it feels to be in the womb of the Goddess who birthed you and all that you see.
5. In the evening, after you have completed your supper and you are relaxing in comfort around the fire, catch your breath with wonder when one woman in your circle spots the Northern lights through the hole in the tree canopy above you. All together, rush to the large rock at the edge of the water where you have the best view of the sky. Lie on your backs, watching the Northern lights dancing like playful angels in the dark starry sky. Ooh and aah for extra effect, especially when you notice the way the aurora borealis reflects on the water.
6. Pay attention. Be mindful of everything you see. The bald eagle carrying itself on powerful wings high into the sky where it floats in leisurely circles. The two butterflies sunning themselves on a rock. The sky turning pink as the sun bids you good night. The sound of loons calling across the lake. The taste of wild raspberries, blueberries, and saskatoons. The endless possible shapes of clouds. The loons racing across the surface of the lake, using their wings as paddles. The milky white petals of the water lilies. The many shades of green in the trees and thick beds of moss. The bear that stands up on a rock just as you drive past on your way back to civilization. (p.s. Be grateful that you were in a car when you spotted the bear and not in a tent.)
7. As you are carrying the last of your things away from the campsite and down to the canoes, ready to head back across those lakes, spot the large white feather lying on the ground next to the now cold fire pit. Remember what Amy Oscar, in her book Sea of Miracles, says about white feathers appearing regularly to remind her of the presence of angels. Say a silent prayer of thanksgiving that you have been surrounded by angels for the last few days.
8. Exhausted but happy, carry one last canoe on your back up the hill and over the railroad tracks to the waiting vehicles. As you put it down, and you stretch your aching back and neck muscles, congratulate yourself and the other women for being strong and powerful and courageous. As a reward, stop at a restaurant on the way home to eat a delicious meal on a patio and to share a few good laughs about the adventure you’ve just had. For good measure, add a delicious frozen sangria to your meal. Sip it slowly and mindfully.
9. Return home to your family, refreshed, alive, and full of gratitude for the beauty and bounty of creation. Carry the wilderness with you and remember what it feels like to be wild, free, and beautiful, next to the pulsing heart of Mother Nature.
In the past two days, I’ve spent about thirteen hours sitting in my mom’s hospital room while she recovers from surgery. This afternoon, after I finish marking papers, I’ll go and sit for a few more.
I don’t do much while I’m there. She doesn’t require much care, I can’t heal her wounds, she’s not up for a lot of conversation yet, and lots of time (especially the first day) she sleeps. But still I sit. Sometimes I read, sometimes I chat with her husband, and sometimes – when she’s alert, we talk.
I do it because I know that it’s something I can do for her. I haven’t always known how to be a support for her, but right now, while she’s in a hospital room, I know that the thing I can offer her is my presence. Simple as that. Just my presence. When she drifts off to sleep, I say, “it’s okay Mom… sleep… I’ll be here when you wake up.” And she smiles, because she likes to have me there.
Eleven years ago, just down the hallway from where my mom now lies, I spent three weeks waiting for my baby to arrive. During that time of waiting, and then later when my baby died, a lot of people showed up and sat with me. I don’t remember much of what they said, but I remember that they were there. Just sitting. And listening. And sharing pieces of themselves with me. One in particular (my friend Stephanie) showed up for at least a brief visit nearly every day. When I had to go through the most excruciating experience of my life – birthing my dead son – she (together with my Mom & Marcel) sat with me and held my hand while I cried. I never needed her advice, but I sure did need her presence.
So often I forget that simple fact – that the best gift I can give people is often as simple as giving my presence and my time. We want to fix their problems, give them valuable advice, buy them memorable gifts, be a hero in some way… and yet, what they really value is the easiest (and the hardest) gift to give – ourselves.
This afternoon, think about who it is in your life that needs your presence. Just for today, withhold your advice and your solutions for their problems, and just show up. And believe that what you have to give them with that offering is worth more than you will ever know.
