15 responses to “An unresolved story that I don’t know how to tell”

  1. Kimberley

    I hear you. I see you open tender heart. Sending much love.

  2. Deanna

    Heather, you are simultaneously telling your own story — the part that you are living — and telling our universal human story. Thank you. Deanna

  3. Laurie

    This resonates. I am at the space you and your husband were 5 years ago. I’m awakening and having a clearer vision of myself and our world…which is very different from where he is. I can see us looking at one another sometimes, after just spoken our truths, wondering who the hell this person is sitting across from the other. I sit in circles in which the right answer for others has been leaving – but I don’t think I’m there yet. The dis-ease in being uncomfortable is a good thing, in a way, I guess. It makes us take notice and re-evaluate. I don’t know what our future holds, but I’m thankful for the times inbetween that we DO connect, laugh, and have fun.

  4. Lissa

    So appreciate & applaud the respectful sovereignty from which you’ve shared this – at once both student & teacher – while offering us the chance to witness & join you as companion student/teachers. Messy made beautiful without denying a thing. Thank you.

  5. Esther

    Thanks so much for your openness and honesty. We are all a work in progress. I feel for you and pray you both be blessed and guided for your highest good. I know how much grief is involved when a marriage ends, it is very tough. Endings and new beginnings, new identities. A hard road but a worthwhile one, bringing up raw feelings at times.

  6. Kimberly Schneider

    This is so beautiful. Thank you for your authenticity, and for putting this out there in a way that will bring awareness and healing to so many. It’s a vulnerable thing to do, and our world needs more brave people who are willing to be that vulnerable. May you be encircled with loving people who hold the space for you as I’ve no doubt you do for many. Sending peace your way & to your family too, and taking in the gentleness and wisdom you’ve offered into my own heart.

  7. What it means to "hold space" for people, plus eight tips on how to do it well - Heather Plett

    […] Follow-up pieces about holding space: How to hold space for yourself first Sometimes holding space feels like doing nothing Sometimes you have to write on the walls: Some thoughts on holding space for other people’s personal growth On holding space when there is an imbalance of power and privilege Leave space for others to fill your needs What the circle holds An unresolved story that I don’t know how to tell […]

  8. Janet

    After 40 years, I find myself in a very similar space, feeling frightened and alone.
    Thank you so much for sharing your truth. Your willingness to do so is a kindness.
    I am learning.

  9. Nancy

    Thank you for your honesty and invitation to hold space for myself in those spaces of uncertainty and times of unknowing and blundering around waiting for clarity to take shape. it gives me hope.

  10. Marianne

    Oh, how did i click on this article today? My marriage of 22 years is coming to an end, I am looking for a place to stay, i am hiding from the world and the physical symptoms of my grief are overwhelming. I’d do almost anything to reach a happy place now. And then i read about the childish desire for the world to be clean and orderly, safe, happy. And i recognise that i have people who are holding space for me. Ok, yes, i’ll try to be patient with the pain and the questions and the uncertainty.

  11. Michelle Elena

    So sorry for your loss. I have been divorced for nine years–and I don’t wish it on anyone. Holding space, as I understand from your article, is like letting be… Love and prayers…

  12. Martha Redd

    I have unresolved stories. I set out to resolve one; a person became involved telling me the wildest story. Enough to say my Daddy wasn’t my Daddy. I was going through cognitive therapy for PTSD childhood related at age 63. Eye Movement Desentizaion; Reprocessing. EMDR.
    I was disturbed; angry. The person’s story had no credibility; her references she gave backed out. Finally found one of ladies my Mama had roomed with as young lady; single. She is kin to the person who told me the wild story. I called her; we had a good talk. She is Mama’s age. My Mama is in Heaven. I decided it is “well with my soul”. Then began to wonder more about people in my family, what was their life like, made them the way they are or were. Compassion; empathy set in. My Aunt that I had confided in about all this; who had encouraged me died suddenly. (Am I writing my novel here;-).
    Anyway, is it unresolved…..many other life stories….look forward to your emails.
    My best friends daughter wants to write about her life story. Wth no respect to others involved.
    This will be helpful to me. Thank you.

  13. Dee Joyce

    Wonderful article! Now I can honestly say that I can hold space for someone because I truly get it! I so value when a person can open up and share honestly… I just wish more people could do it! It always leaves me feeling so connected to that person! Thank you so much for sharing this article!

  14. Jean McVay

    Congratulations. Great advice too. Thanks

  15. Sylvia Gayle

    Your Words not a Hard Back Novel with all the Frills/Juices, nor a Paper Back Novel nor a ‘Story’ with a happy ending in a Magazine…Ms. Plett.

    Your words came out of the my computer having ‘a Body’, ‘an assortment of Emotions’, ‘Deep Rooted Understanding of much’…I commend your Method in which you presented REALITY without Shame/Guilt, without Reason/Finger Pointing, with a solid Earthly Pedestal to stand on, no Cure/Fix until One has traveled that Journey of one’s Life…and Hopefully Grown.

    You have a Beautiful Gift, Bless you


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