Turning rage into art

Yesterday, I was angry. So angry, in fact, that I used the words “PISSED OFF” in my Facebook status. That’s rare for this careful communicator and polite Canadian.

I was angry because very few people are paying attention to the women who were gunned down at a peaceful protest in Ivory Coast. The media gave it only a cursory notice, and there has been no public outcry.

WHERE IS THE PUBLIC OUTCRY?!

I wanted women protesting in the streets. I wanted outraged media commentators taking a stand. I wanted public figures taking this on as their cause. (I later learned that Hillary Clinton spoke out against it.)

I wanted to see the public outrage, and yet I didn’t know where to start to be a catalyst for it. I made a feeble attempt (I expressed my rage to some public media figures, imploring them to talk about it), but I really didn’t know how to raise my voice for the cause.

Steeped in that rage and frustration, I went to my art class. (Yes, I know how bourgeois that sounds – the privileged white North American woman goes to art class while less privileged black women die in the streets trying to impact change. The irony is not lost on me.)

I went to art class with those women in my heart and I knew I needed to at least do something to honour them, even if I couldn’t spread my rage around the world like a wild fire.

And so I painted. A mandala is what emerged. Six trees for six women (I later found out there were seven). Six trees growing from entangled roots. Growing up through their blood. Growing and providing hope and shelter. Growing into something new and fertile and good. Growing the way I hope their stories grow – into positive forces for change.

I don’t entirely know what the mandala means, but I let the art emerge that needed to emerge.

mandala for the women of Ivory Coast

a mandala for the women of Ivory Coast

This afternoon, I walked past the neighbours’ house to find that they had cut down two big, beautiful (and old) trees. It rattled me. Deeply. I wanted to sit on the stumps and cry.

I don’t know how the two things are related, but it feels like they are. Both made my rage flare up. Life was cut short and I feel powerless. After seeing the raw tree stumps I read this in an article about the murdered women:

Mariam Bamba, 32, picked up a tree branch next to one of the blood stains on the pavement where the women were felled by gunfire.

“This leaf is all that they were carrying when they were killed,” she said.

I’d already painted my mandala when I read that. I was struck with the poignancy of it – I was moved to paint trees, and the hopeful women who lost their lives trying to impact change were carrying tree branches.

This rage is not over, though it has settled some. I will look for other ways to remember and honour the women who died. Those women are our sisters, our mothers, and our daughters. Their death matters to us all.

What ideas do you have to honour them and help their stories grow into strong trees?

It’s about surrender

Last weekend, I was in a horrible place. Old demons and old stories were playing havoc with my mind. I was worried about money, craving the attention of people who seemed to be ignoring me, telling myself I was failing in the self-employment journey, wishing my writing had more influence, and just all-in-all not having too many pleasant thoughts wandering around the ol’ grey matter. On top of that, I was having horrible, ugly, death-filled dreams that clung to me long after I’d woken.

In the most vivid of the dreams, I was gradually killing myself. Each day I was consuming small amounts of some substance that I knew would eventually kill me, but I was never quite sure which day it would work. Eventually my roommate, a dark figure dressed in dominatrix attire, decided to speed up the process and rammed a truck into a pillar supporting the balcony I was standing on. I plunged to a bloody death. I woke from the dream not sure whether the sobbing was real or part of the dream.

Trying to shake the ugliness, I went for a walk to the bookstore. Once again, the demons whispered in my ear “You’re not good enough. You’re failing.”

Halfway to the bookstore, the voice of Sophia God finally broke through the din. “It’s not about you,” She said. “Stop taking everything so personally and just let me do the work I need to do through you.” The words shook me out of that self-absorbed place.

On Tuesday, I woke up early, excited about launching my e-book. Even before I launched the post about it, there were several subscribers who’d shown up after I’d posted the sign-up box the night before. After the post was launched, a steady stream of people started showing and downloading the book. Not just a stream – a rushing river. Before long, I had to increase my email database subscription beyond the 250 I got with the free trial period.

It was truly remarkable how many people showed up hungry for what the e-book has to offer. Not only were they downloading it, but they were tweeting about it, blogging about it, and sending me the most tender and beautiful e-mails. The response that touched me the most was from Qualla, a young woman I’d met at ALIA (and whose 19th birthday I helped celebrate on a dock after kayaking in the Atlantic Ocean), who wrote her very first blog post in response to the e-book. (It’s beautiful – you really should read it.) I was ecstatic. Something I’d created was meaningful to people!

But then the voice came again. “It’s not about you,” She said. “Stop taking everything so personally and just let me do the work I need to do through you.”

Right. It’s not about me. Just like I can’t get too personally attached to the negative stuff, I can’t get too personally attached to the positive stuff. This is the work God wants to do through me and I just have to be a willing conduit. Letting my head get too bloated won’t serve the work.

In the end, it’s about surrender. It’s what the dream was about – surrendering the old self that doesn’t serve me anymore. Surrendering to the Mystery. The Divine. The God of my understanding.

I have to keep surrendering day after day – whether I’m flying high or dragging my feet. It’s not about me.

Just like the butterfly, I can’t grow wings without the surrender, without the chrysalis. I can’t soar to the heights unless I’m willing to let go of the ground.

Free E-book! “Sophia Rises: Changing the World through Feminine Wisdom”

Sophia Rises: Changing the world through feminine wisdom

I am SO excited to announce the launch of my free e-book – “Sophia Rises: Changing the world through feminine wisdom”

All you have to do to get the e-book is to go over to that box on the right hand side of your screen and add your email address to my list. (Don’t worry – I have no intention of inundating you with emails. I’ll just be sending out periodic updates about what’s going on around here.)

This is no ordinary e-book. And it’s not just a collection of my thoughts. It’s so much MORE!

It is a beautiful collaboration of 21 amazing people who are all thinking about how they can make the world a better place through writing, dance, yoga, international development, art, leadership workshops, conversations, music, circle council, and a whole lot more.

It’s a global effort – contributors hail from Zimbabwe, Nigeria, Sri Lanka, the Czech Republic, and all over Canada and the U.S.

On top of all that, it’s absolutely BEAUTIFUL! Thanks to art from some of the contributors and the amazing design work of my friend Segun Olude, its beauty will inspire you even if you never read the words (but you really should).

The painting on the front was done by me, inspired by a painting I saw at a local retreat centre, painted by Mary Southard.

Here’s a sneak peak – a piece that I contributed…

an open letter to my daughters

an open letter to my daughters

Sophia Leadership was never meant to be a solo journey. Right from the beginning, when I began to dream it up around a table with two other women, one man, some coloured markers and a collaborative doodle art piece, I envisioned it being a place where wisdom of every kind is welcomed and we all dream of a different world together.

With that dream in the back of my mind, I started putting out the call to people who had inspired me in recent years – people I’d met in my travels, people I’ve worked with on design projects, people I’d had delightful conversations with at various learning events, and people whose books and blogs had inspired me. Twenty of those people responded and their wisdom BLOWS ME AWAY!

You really need to read this.

You really need to let these ideas soak into your heart.

It will change you and inspire you.

It will help you dream bigger dreams about how feminine wisdom (in ALL of us – women AND men) can change the world.

Today is the 100th anniversary of International Women’s Day and I can’t think of a better day to launch this project!

Here are the contributors: (I am SO honoured to be in the company of such an amazing circle of people!)

L to R:

1. Connie Hozvicka, Chris Zydel, Tara Sophia Mohr, Michele Visser-Wikkerink, Dara McKinley, Segun Olude,

2. Mihirini de Zoysa, Ronna Detrick, Tom Ryan, Diane Jung, Vurayayi Pugeni, Katharine Weinmann, Christine Claire Reed,

3. Rachelle Mee-Chapman, Jarda Dokoupil, Michele Lisenbury-Christensen, Julie Daley, Heather Plett (me), Desiree Adaway, Michael Jones

AND here are some other people writing related posts. If this has inspired you, please add your post below so that these ideas can spread even further!



100 Years :: 100 People :: 100 Changes

Help me come up with ONE HUNDRED ways we can make the world a better place!

Tuesday, March 8th, is the hundredth anniversary of International Women’s Day. I’m very excited to announce that on that day, I will be launching my first e-book! Yay! (The above image is a sneak preview of the cover art. Yes – in case you’re wondering – I painted it.)

In the book, twenty wise people are sharing their thoughts around how feminine wisdom can change the world. I can hardly wait to share it with you!

But first, I want you to help me out with something. I’m so jazzed about what is in my e-book that  I want to create a whirlwind of energy around the power and possibilities of feminine wisdom.

Here’s what I’m asking for:

I would like 100 people (women AND men) to come up with 100 ideas (in honour of 100 years of International Women’s Day) that reflect their thoughts around the following question:

How can women change the world and how can we change the world for women?

If that sounds like too big a question, then remember this – it is the small things, all added together, that create big change. Your idea might be as simple as “change the rules at my local community centre to allow more girls into sports” or “pay for the education of one young girl in Africa who might not otherwise get to go to school” or “teach my daughter about her female lineage”.

They might be small, or they might be BIG, like “grow awareness around women’s issues at the UN“.

Let’s get that whirlwind blowing, shall we?

A little added incentive for participating: I will hold a draw of all those who participate and the winner will get a print of the above image.

Here are some ways you can contribute to 100 Years :: 100 People :: 100 Changes:

1. Share your ideas in the comments.

2. Write a blog post between now and Tuesday highlighting your ideas around the question. Add your name and link to the widget below so that we can all visit and be inspired by each others ideas.

3. Share your idea on Twitter with the hashtag #100changes (with a link back to this post)

4. Add your idea to the Sophia Leadership Facebook page. (And be sure to “like” the page while you’re there so that you’ll get updates.)

6. Let me know you’re participating by commenting on this post.

7. Share this with all of your friends so that the whirlwind grows and at least 100 people are participating by Tuesday!

p.s. More than 100 is even better, so keep spreading the word!



Speaking a new language into the corporate world

The language of business and government is largely the language of men. It’s language that’s been shaped by sports and warfare – masculine arenas.

Think about it for a moment – strategic planning, performance reviews, bite the bullet, fast track, jump the gun, keep your eye on the prize, rally the troops, ball park figures – they’ve all been influenced by sports or warfare. Even coaching, though it has developed softer edges, is still a word that comes out of sports, where performance is everything.

Language is not only shaped by the culture in which it is formed, it also helps shape the culture. When you enter a new workplace, you learn to speak in the local lingo. Before you know it, you’re not just talking in those terms, you’re thinking in them too.

Case in point: Not long ago, in my Writing for Public Relations course, we were talking about communications strategies, and I was telling the students how important it is to evaluate after the work is complete. “Even if you don’t have time for a full-fledged evaluation,” I said, “at least do a post mortem with your planning team.”

The students wanted to know what a post mortem was, and I explained that it’s a meeting held after work has been completed to discuss what went well and what needed to be improved next time. I was so used to using the word, I didn’t even think about what I was saying, until a student raised his hand and called me on it.

“Remember how you were saying that language in the world of business is too often based on sports and warfare?” asked the student who’d spent time in the army. “Well, ‘post mortem’ is an excellent example. Interestingly enough, the army no longer uses that term. They now refer to it as ‘after action review’.”

Needless to say, I was sufficiently humbled by my student who’d caught something I didn’t even recognize in my own language. That’s how language is – it becomes so embedded in our psyche, we don’t even recognize how it influences us anymore.

I’m on a personal mission not only to change my own language, but to influence the language of the corporate world. I think it’s time for more feminine language – the language of art and intuition added to the language of sports and warfare.

This morning I delivered a speech to a local business club. I spoke on “How to Lead with your Paint Clothes On.” I talked to them about how to think more like artists, how to incorporate creativity and pauses and white spaces and practice in their business planning. I encouraged them to allow for mistakes, open themselves to possibilities, and trust their intuition. I handed out markers and doodle pages and told them to doodle while I talked. I encouraged them to hold art parties with their staff.

I don’t think the business club (mostly men) knew exactly what to make of my talk. A few of them offered stories of how creativity had shaped what they did, but most of them simply thanked me politely and then left.

It’s a new language for many people – not one that’s particularly comfortable in a business world. Speaking a new language into an old culture can be intimidating and downright scary. But change doesn’t come without a bit of risk. If we want things to shift, sometimes we have to be willing to be the oddball in the room.

Here’s the handout I used this morning. On the back of the page it said “Go ahead and DOODLE!”

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