“How do you get to be so free?” Caterpillar asks wistfully of Butterfly.
“Surrender,” Butterfly whispers as she flutters by.
“But… I’ve read all the books, taken all the classes, and I just can’t seem to get off the ground.”
“Surrender.”
“What do you mean – surrender? Surrender to what?”
“To the Mystery. To your Creator. To your own DNA.”
“How do I do that?” Caterpillar frowns.
“Climb up in that tree, let go of the branch, and spin.”
“Spin?”
“Yes, spin.”
“But I don’t know how to spin. Do I need to take a course? Is there a manual?”
“You’ll know. Once you’re up there on the branch.”
“I’ll know? How will I know?”
“It’s written in your DNA.”
“What happens next? Do I have to spin my own wings?”
“No, silly,” Butterfly giggles. “You spin a cocoon.”
“A cocoon? I’ve never heard of that before. What do I do with it once I’ve spun it?”
“You don’t do anything. You just wait. Inside the cocoon.”
“What good does waiting do? I have too much work to do to sit around waiting in a cocoon. I have housework to do and children to feed and… well, that’s just ridiculous.” Caterpillar turns away, her eyes back on the ground.
“Well, then you’d better give up your dream of flying, because that’s the only way to get up here.” Butterfly’s wings carry her a little higher.
Caterpillar glances back at the sky. Her eyes fill with tears. “But… I really want to fly. Can you tell me a little more? Please. What comes next?”
“The hard part. The surrender.”
“So we’re back to surrender again. That doesn’t seem very helpful. And it’s kind of confusing. What am I surrendering?”
“Everything you ever knew. Every cell of your body. Every story you’ve ever told yourself.”
“I have to give up EVERYTHING?! Isn’t that asking a bit much?”
“Yes, but it’s worth it.”
“Does it hurt?”
“Oh yes. It hurts.”
“How do you handle the pain?”
“You won’t like the answer.”
“Tell me anyway.”
“Surrender. And trust. You have to surrender to the pain and trust the process. You have to give up control and let your body turn to an ugly gooey mushy substance while you wait for transformation to happen. Your friends (those who haven’t learned to spin yet) will turn away because they won’t recognize you. It will be the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do.”
“I don’t know if I can do it. I can’t handle that much pain.”
“You can.”
“But…”
“Do you want to taste the sky?”
“Oh yes. I really, really do.”
“Then you have to let go of the ground.”
*********
I’m excited to announce a new series called “Let go of the ground & taste the sky”. I’m gathering stories of people who’ve learned what it means to surrender (in big or small ways) to the Mystery. I’ll be sharing those stories here in the coming weeks. To get this off the ground, here’s one of my own stories…
p.s. If you’re learning to surrender, I’m cooking up an offering (I hesitate to call it an e-course, but it’s something like that) where we can learn and practice together. Look for details soon!
This week I’ve been working on my book, and a few other creative assignments, and so I haven’t been blogging much. In the absence of a blog post, here’s a little piece from the book I’m working on. It wasn’t originally supposed to be about feminine wisdom, but it seems to be an emerging theme nonetheless. Books have a way of making up their own minds about what they’re going to be.
It’s not that I’ve replaced my understanding of a masculine God with an entirely feminine one, it’s just that I’ve learned that there are many ways for God to be present in the world and in my life. The feminine spiritual energy that can be experienced through labyrinths or body work is different from the masculine energy of logic or ration or debate or even language.
I think that’s one of the reasons why we mostly read about God in masculine form. The feminine form is much more difficult to put into words, much more mysterious, and much harder to fit into a box. It is also harder to trust because it dances with mystery. It must be experienced in a visceral, spiral, embodied, non-linear, non-rational way, and that presents a danger that many of us would rather avoid.
One of the things I’ve learned in my self-employment journey so far, is that almost every day, often several times a day, I have to ask myself “why not me?”
“I wish someone would compile the ideas of a bunch of people who’ve given some thought to feminine wisdom. WHY NOT ME?“
“There are lots of people who could benefit from a deeply personal book about losing a stillborn baby but gaining a deeper spirituality. WHY NOT ME?“
“There’s an amazing conference coming up and they could really use a little help with their social media promotion. WHY NOT ME?“
“Somebody should teach leaders to think a little more like artists. WHY NOT ME?“
It doesn’t come naturally, this question. My default position is to think “surely someone else is more competent at it than I am. Maybe once I’ve read a few more books or taken a few more courses, or had a few more things published – THEN I’ll be ready to take on this task.”
We limit ourselves, don’t we? We assume our ideas aren’t smart enough, unique enough, or educated enough. We think we need a masters degree before we have a right to speak with authority. We think people would be better off hearing from the REAL experts – you know, those with agents and books on the best-seller list.
And then there are the fear gremlins – the voices that whisper “but if you get a book published, people will think you’re showing off” or “what if you teach a workshop about thinking more like an artist and there’s a REAL artist in the room who tells you that you don’t have a clue?” or “what if you offend someone who’s chosen a different path than yours?” or “what if your family and friends start thinking you’re too big for your britches and they reject you?”
And yet… there’s a burning deep inside that says “your wisdom is worth sharing. Your ideas have merit. You’re smart enough for this calling.” And then there are the people who take the time to say “your words make a difference. Keep it up. I need more of what you have to offer.” And you realize that whatever it is you’ve been given to share is worth sharing, even if you only share it with a handful of people. And that it’s not about you, it’s about surrendering to what the Divine asks of you.
And every day, you make a choice to look into the mirror, smile at the fear hidden behind your eyes, and say “Why not me?”
p.s. Want to get more practice in saying “why not me?” Check out Playing Big by my friend Tara Sophia Mohr. I just know it will be amazing!
Last week, I was wrestling with how to teach my public relations students about writing to impact change. I looked in the usual places for inspiration on the subject (Google & the bookstore), but found very little. Suddenly it occurred to me that I have a lot of friends who, on a daily basis, are writing to impact change. Why not ask them? And so I did. I sent out an email to a bunch of people whose writing I respect and here are the answers that came back to me:
Follow the fear. When I have something to say that I’m afraid to say because of the reaction I fear I might get, that’s when the writing has the most impact. And I just have to sit down and write it. If I overthink, the power dwindles. – Renae Cobb
Tell a personal story about an experience that impacted you in a profound way. A moment in which you knew with absolute certainty, this is the person I am meant to be. – Margaret Sanders
1. Start with: “I want to tell you that…”
You’re going to erase that little line once you’re done your piece, but I find if I start with that bit of sentence, my writing is more focused on what I really want to say, and what I really want the reader to remember.
2. Once you think your piece is polished, go back and cut 20 percent more. Most of us write too much and you would be surprised how much you can cut without losing your message. Your message will be more clear because you’ve taken out all the extraneous words. If you are really long winded, you might even need to cut 30 percent.
3. Believe what you are writing about. Bullshit doesn’t make for behavioural change. – Michele Visser-Wikkerink
Think of a time in your life when someone said something to you and it
changed everything. It may have been as simple as yelling out “Stop!” as you
were about to step into the street. It may have been hearing that someone
believed in you. Or that they didn’t. For me, it was when my boyfriend
looked at a sign for theatre auditions and said to me, “Hey, you might like
that!” It changed my life forever. What words have changed your life? – Jamie Ridler
Write from your own experience.
Don’t be afraid to share your wisdom.
Be transparent with your process, warts and all.
Invite people to consider, rather than trying to get them to change.
Share your stories, because they are the best way to make a point. – Julie Daley
Learn how to network if you really want to make an impact as a writer. It’s not a direct “writing skill,” and many writers are very introverted, so writers often don’t appreciate the importance of networking if you want to impact behavioural change with your writing. There’s so much writing out there these days that it’s hard to get your writing noticed – even if you’ve put a lot of careful thought into writing catchy headlines/ book titles! You can write amazing “impactful” stuff, but if nobody is reading it, it’s not going to effect behavioral change. The thing that’s most likely to get people to notice your writing is relationships. People who know and like you will be more likely to read your stuff – and to pass it on to others. And when they read your stuff, the people who know and like you are much more likely to read your writing with an open mind and to take action.
–Cath Duncan
Reframe, reframe, reframe….what is the inherent possibility or potential
and how can your words and perspective illuminate this? This of course
presumes potential exists and that pattern emerges from chaos. – Katharine Weinnman
Write it for the people not for yourself. – Jarda Dokoupil
Consider these questions:
Who are you talking to?
What do you want to say to them?
What are you feeling?
What qualities do you want to infuse your self and your world with?
How can you be the change you want to effect? – Hiro Boga
I think if you come to the page thinking “I have to impact positive change” you’re going to shut yourself down immediately.
I think the most important thing is to TELL THE TRUTH, because the truth speaks for itself. Open, honest, vulnerable writing will influence readers. – Susan Plett
1. Meet people where they are – make sure they feel GOTTEN – empathetic messages before emphatic messages
Understand change has stages
2. Give baby baby baby steps
3. Share specific stories, “before and after” style that help people see themselves both now and in the positive future you’re inviting them to – Michele Lisenbury Christensen
My writing advice is to be brave enough to make yourself vulnerable in your writing—while still being honest and respectful to yourself—and your words will resonate on a deeper level with others. When I write on my blog I write for myself with the intention that by sharing it–my words will touch others. I try to never write at them–but to include them in my thought process. When I sit down to write I always think “what do I want to talk about”…never “what do I want to write.” – Connie Hozvicka
Use fewer words. You may not like it that most Americans read at an 8th
grade level and have the attention span of a gnat, but that’s the reality.
If you want to communicate you have to live by it.
Create strong metaphors. If it’s wimpy, don’t use. It it’s stunning it will
stick. – Rachelle Mee-Chapman
Here is one quote I just found yesterday that I posted on my facebook.
“You write to communicate to the hearts and minds of others what’s burning inside you. And we edit to let the fire show through the smoke.” ~Arthur Polotnik
As I am editing my draft memoir I am finding it very important to be clear and to use truthful words. Sometimes I find it extremely difficult to find the words to put together a sentence that will make an impact, but then I sit down to the page and take a deep breath and trust the process, I trust that I am using the right words to make the impact that is intended. To tell the story and hopefully it will be remembered.
I find it helpful for me to read out loud what I have written, to see if it makes sense, are the words I am using, choosing the right fit for the intention? I like this process. – Marion Ann Berry
I thing the one most important thing new writers need to learn is how to tell a good story – in order to impact behavioural change, as a writer, I need to create emotional impact. To create emotional impact I need to create the opportunity for emotional resonance and, although there are other ways, a well-constructed story is one of the most effective ways to do that. Ultimately I’m interested in behavioural change that results from us becoming more connected – more connected to our true selves, other people and everything that lives and grows in our natural environment. In my experience that kind of connection can be enhanced through good story-telling. Examples could range from a well-told story about where the trash that we throw out actually goes and whose lives it effects, through to a woman sharing her birthing story. – Marriane Elliot
TELL THE TRUTH! Write in vulnerable ways. Write from your soul. Write from your own experience – or even lack thereof. Just acknowledge to us that your words are grounded in your own passions, doubts, strengths, weaknesses, questions, hopes, fears, etc.
Of course, this has to be appropriate to audience, but I think somehow, no matter the subject or the context, the best writing comes from the heart. When I read that kind of writing, I am changed. Over and over again. – Ronna Detrick
And here are some that I added:
1.Write for the intellect AND the emotions. If you convince both, you can impact change. If you convince only one, the other may put up roadblocks.
2. Show don’t tell. Show me why the change will benefit my life. Don’t just try to convince me with impressive stats.
3. Focus on possibilities. Show me someone just like me who’s made the change and is happy about it. Make it seem attainable.
In the past few years, my art journal has become an important part of my self-discovery and my way of processing the world. There are pages in it that represent some pretty significant highs and lows in my life.
Because it holds such a special place in my life, I am thrilled that my dear friend Connie Hozvicka (a contributor to my e-book) has invited me to participate in 21 Secrets: an art journal playground. I have already produced the video in which my secret is revealed, and it is one of the most tender, vulnerable pieces of work I have ever produced. I know that it will resonate for a lot of you.
If you sign up for 21 Secrets, you’ll learn art journal secrets from an impressive circle of people. Here’s a little video that will give you a small taste of what you can expect from my workshop.
My friend (and one of the contributors to my e-book) Tara Sophia Mohr is teaching an intensive leadership and development workshop for women who want to let go of fear and learn to play big. I know that it will be an awesome experience and I hope that you will consider being part of it. Tara is full of wisdom and strength and I know that she will introduce you to some amazing ideas and will help you unearth some possibilities you may not have even dared to dream about.
I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s worth mentioning again. Six months ago, I signed up for Teach Now by Jennifer Louden and Michele Lisenbury Christensen (another contributor to my e-book) and it changed my life. I was just about to start teaching my first writing course at university, and this workshop had a huge impact on the kind of teacher I became. Teach Now is about offering your authentic self in your teaching and creating a safe container for learning to happen for your students AND for yourself. It had such a significant impact on me that I still listen to the podcasts & interviews on my iPod. Their free call is on March 24th and you really should sign up if you do any kind of teaching, or ever dream of doing it. (If you can’t make it, they’re very good at recording calls and sharing them later.)
My Newsletter
I’ve just prepared my very first newsletter and it will be going out on Monday. If you haven’t signed up for it yet (and gotten your free copy of “Sophia Rises: changing the world through feminine wisdom“), be sure to add your email to the box on the right. In this newsletter, I’m talking about whether it is helpful to differentiate between feminine wisdom and masculine wisdom. To illustrate my point, I’ve shared a few stories, including one about how a black man from Africa (my friend ‘Segun) helped this white woman from Canada birth an e-book about feminine wisdom, and one about how we were rescued recently when our van got stuck trying to navigate a huge snowdrift (yes, it’s still winter around here).
