by Heather Plett | May 30, 2011 | Birthing Sophia, journey, Leadership, Passion, Sophia, Uncategorized, Wisdom
photo taken by my talented sister, at thousandwordsphotography.ca
A few posts ago, I mentioned the winding path that one must take up the side of the mountain when the ascent is too steep for the ordinary wanderer.
That metaphor has been ringing so true for me recently, especially in this self-employment journey. Each time I think I’m on the right path, I hit a curve and find myself going in a different direction entirely, never really sure that the path will get me to the top.
When I left my job and started this journey, I was quite convinced that Sophia Leadership was the right path and that feminine wisdom and leadership were the passions that would drive my business. There were so many signposts pointing me along the path – whether it was a horse named Sophia, a fortuitous statue with the word “Sophia” engraved in it, or the amazing experience I had in a circle of women gathered by the lake for our Listening Well retreat.
But then the year ended and a new one began and I found myself feeling restless, knowing something was trying to be born. As it turned out, it was a memoir stretching the walls of my figurative womb, trying to push itself into the light of day. Without totally abandoning Sophia Leadership, I stepped away from some of the passion that drove it to give space for the book to emerge. The book is about my stillborn son and the way that he has been my spiritual guide in my life as I learned and relearned many lessons of surrender.
When the book was in the birth canal, and my primary focus was the labour pains of bringing it to life, I just didn’t feel much like writing about feminine wisdom or leadership and I no longer knew whether Sophia Leadership was the space I belonged. “All I want to do is write,” I thought. “And I don’t want to be restricted by these boxes. Not everything is about Sophia or about leadership.”
So I began to contemplate switching my blog to my heatherplett.com site and making it a more general space about personal growth and transformation and stillborn babies and surrender and LIFE.
But then I hit another switchback on the path. The first draft of the book got done and I started sharing it with a few trusted readers. And as I shared it, I started to realize that it really IS about feminine wisdom AND about leadership, and I really hadn’t switched paths after all.
A few other signs showed up as well. I facilitated an in-person leadership workshop and sat in a circle of people hungry for a new paradigm for leadership, eager to make a difference in the world, and uncertain they have the right to call themselves leaders. They were leaders in search of a guide to point them to the right path.
And then I facilitated an online leadership learning circle for How to Live with your Paint Clothes on, and the same thing happened. An incredible circle of women bravely voiced their calling to leadership of some kind and admitted they were unsure of how to do it and how to work outside the old paradigms of leadership we’re all surrounded with. More leaders in search of a guide.
And then I had an amazing conversation with Bridget Pilloud, and she pushed me kind of hard when I said I was thinking of giving up Sophia Leadership and told me that there is a huge need among women in leadership (including herself in a previous career) for someone to help them see their paths clear to a place where feminine wisdom is honoured and accepted.
Last but not least, Sophia spoke to me in a bookstore. It was one of those restless days when I couldn’t find a book to settle the angst that had taken up residence in my heart. I was wrestling with my wandering tendencies, and the winding path and wondering WHY OH WHY I couldn’t just settle into an ordinary easy path like other people. There were relationship things going on as well that reminded me of my tendency to be an outsider, always on the edge of the circle when others are smack dab in the middle having all the “easy” fun.
Flipping through an art magazine, I heard Sophia whisper “you are called to the edge.” Bam. Just like that. A proclamation that answered so much of my angst and unsettled feelings. “You are CALLED to the edge. This is not an accident.” I’m not SUPPOSED to be in the centre of the circle having easy fun. I’m not SUPPOSED to be one of the people who get called to seemingly easy and straight paths. I’m meant to be out here on the edge.
I am an edge-walker. I am most myself when I am at the edge of the circle where I can serve as witness both to the things going on inside the circle and those happening outside. I am a leader whose vision of what’s ahead on the path helps direct the people at the centre who have less clarity. I help people feel safe because they have a sentry at the edge. I serve as scribe, witness, and facilitator for the people in the centre because I am less attached to the gravity and ideas that pull everyone to the centre. I watch for dangers and I help people avoid them. I follow new ideas and new paths because I know the people in the circle need them.
The particular edge I am called to live on is the edge called Sophia Leadership. I feel more and more certain of that. Bringing feminine wisdom into leadership is edgy, difficult, and not always popular work, but the people in the centre NEED this work. Everywhere I look I see more and more leaders in search of a guide/mentor.
When I walked out of the bookstore, I felt simultaneously like a great burden (of unknowing, doubt, uneasiness) had been lifted off my shoulders, while a whole new burden of responsibility and calling had been added. But the burden was not mine to carry alone – Sophia God was there carrying it for me.
The clarity has carried me through to today. The top of the mountain is becoming a little more visible as I round this latest switchback. I’m not sure how “edge-walker” would play on a business card, but I know what it means to me, and that’s what matters.
In the spirit of being an edge-walker and guide, I am offering new services and clarifying some old ones. Thanks to the roadsigns, there’s more clarity to them than anything I had on this website before. Perhaps one of them will resonate with you. If you need guidance, or if you feel a similar call to the edge, I would love to work with you and serve as your guide.
You can find the buttons for these services on the right-hand side of this blog. Or click on the one that appeals to you below.
(By the way, I am totally in love with the photo my sister took at the top of this page. On my face you can see that perfect mix of seriousness with a hint of a smile, angst with a hint of devil-may-care, and strength with a hint of softness that makes me who I am, standing out here on the edge.)
by Heather Plett | May 30, 2011 | Uncategorized
U2 playing Canad Inns Stadium in Winnipeg (photo courtesy of Winnipeg Free Press)
If you follow my Twitter or Facebook streams, you probably know by now that I went to the U2 concert last night. That would explain why I’m wandering around the house a little like a zombie this afternoon, on a bit of a U2 hangover. Too much adrenalin and not enough sleep makes Heather a dull girl.
The concert was beyond amazing. The music was amazing, the stage was amazing, the light show was amazing, the planes flying over in formation before U2 took to the stage were amazing… all-in-all, an amazing night.
Watching Bono prance around on the circular walkway and bridges extending beyond the stage, I felt a big ol’ teenage swoon coming on. That man is sexy! Wow!
I was so inspired, I came up with this list of lessons we can all learn from Bono about how to be a rock star and have a significant influence in the world.
1. Confidence is sexy! Carry yourself with confidence, believe in the words that emerge from your deepest heart, express yourself in the way that feels truest to you, and you will attract people in a big way.
2. Don’t be afraid to live fully in your body. That man knows how to fully inhabit his body! Wow! He’s never afraid to make big gestures, swing from a cable over the stage, throw his body on the floor – you name it. And people EAT. IT. UP. We are drawn to people who radiate energy from a body fully inhabited.
3. Be passionate for your causes and do not apologize. Part of my swooning had to do with the fact that I just LOVE the social justice causes Bono gives his heart to. He is FEARLESS when it comes to believing in love and justice and compassion. Not only does he sing about it, but he lives it. At the concert, we sang Happy Birthday for Amnesty International’s 50th birthday, and listened to a special broadcast of Aung San Suu Kyi, who was just released from 15 years of house arrest in Burma after daring to win an election and stand up for democracy.
4. Being yourself is much more attractive than trying to be anyone else. This one’s pretty self-explanatory. U2 got where they are today not by trying to copy anyone else’s style but by daring to live by their own.
5. Dare to be BIG. I have never been to such a big, extravagant concert. There were even jets flying by in formation before U2 came on stage. Part of my social justice brain says “isn’t that crazy for a band that preaches about climate change”, but at the same time, I know that their big-ness is what attracts people to them and gives them a global voice for justice and positive change. 50,000 people heard some pretty important messages last night, mixed in with the music, and they wouldn’t have heard those if U2 didn’t dare to be big.
6. Don’t hide your faith, but don’t flaunt it either. Bono has this remarkable capacity to write deeply spiritual lyrics that are still accessible to crowds of 50,000. He never apologizes for his faith, but he doesn’t proselytize either. Sometimes people (myself included) hide their faith so as not to be offensive to people who don’t believe the same way. It doesn’t have to be that way. We can be honest about our faith while still being respectful of others.
by Heather Plett | May 28, 2011 | Language, Leadership
Maddy and her best friend being goofy in the tunnel
I’m on a personal mission to change the culture by changing the language.
As I mentioned in How to Lead with your Paint Clothes on, most of the language we’re used to using in leadership and corporate culture (and, to be frank, even in communities, churches, etc.) is based on old paradigms. Because these cultures were formed by men in a patriarchal society, we adopted language that was comfortable for them. That language is the language of sports, warfare, and the industrial revolution. (Some of you have heard me on this soap box before, I’m sure.)
Even if our work has nothing to do with these three things, and we’d be much better off building communities than teams, we still talk about competitive advantages, officers-in-charge, high performance, and targets. I’ve worked in government and non-profits where competition and production are not important, and yet we still use the same language. Even in the softer side of leadership where we’re working on personal development, we still hire “coaches” to help us. Language gets so embedded in our culture we don’t even recognize how it shapes what we do.
Last week, the university where I teach asked if I’d want to teach a social media workshop called “Using Social Media to Gain Competitive Advantage”. Well yes, I responded, I’d be happy to teach a social media workshop, BUT I’m not interested in one with that title. If I teach it, the words “competitive advantage” won’t be part of it.
In my experience, social media is about relationships and COLLABORATION, not competition. You get an advantage not by competing with other people but by building relationships with them. That’s the only way I’d know how to teach the course.
Fortunately, I work with good administration who are open to my ideas, and so they changed the title to “Tools for Social Media Visibility”. I can live with that.
It might seem like a small thing in the grand scheme of things, but we have to start somewhere. If we want to see more feminine wisdom in our leadership, we have to walk the talk and talk the walk. Changing language CAN change culture.
by Heather Plett | May 27, 2011 | Leadership
Yesterday was my first call with the delightful tribe of people who signed up for the learning circle of How to Lead with your Paint Clothes on. What a great call it was! My only complaint is that it was much too short. AND that I didn’t get to watch people’s faces when they had their a-ha moments.
At the end of the call, when I asked the participants what nugget of learning they would take with them into the week and might find themselves journaling about a few days later, more than one of them shared that it was our conversation about the leadership of Rosa Parks.
Rosa Parks is one of my greatest models for leadership.
As I mentioned in my blurry vision post, I used to hold unrealistic models in front of me of what leadership and vision should be. Even in my teaching, I’d get people to deconstruct the leadership of people like Martin Luther King Jr. in order to learn what visionary leadership is all about.
But not any more. Only a handful of people will attain the level of leadership of MLK (or Oprah, for that matter), so I don’t suggest you try to model yourself after him. If you do, there’s a good chance you’ll fail.
Instead, model your leadership after Rosa Parks.
Rosa was a seamstress. She probably never used the word leader to define herself in her whole life. She was just a seamstress… and yet, she had a passion for justice. She had a vision for change. She knew that it was time for the world.
And so she took her seat on the bus. And she refused to get up when the bus driver told her to give it up for a white man. That action may seem insignificant, and yet it changed the world.
You don’t have to have a grand audience. You don’t have to have a hundred people looking to you for leadership. You just have to take your seat on the bus.
Taking your seat on the bus might mean that you clean up your neighbourhood. It might mean that you provide a safe space for marginalized people. It might mean that you give your whole heart to teaching yoga. It might mean that you model integrity and justice to your kids. It might mean that you say no to the bullies on the committee you volunteer for.
Like the participants on the call yesterday, many of us feel uneasy about calling ourselves leaders because the word carries so much baggage and seems like an unattainable mark. That’s because we’re trying to model ourselves off the wrong kinds of leaders.
DON’T lead like Martin Luther King Jr.
Lead like Rosa Parks. Take your seat on the bus. And don’t get up when the bullies and conformists tell you to move.
by Heather Plett | May 26, 2011 | Blessing
Receiving a Hindu blessing in India
I was running on my favourite path by the river, listening to a podcast interview with Sylvia Boorstein, when she said something that nearly stopped me dead in my tracks. As part of a guided meditation, she said “Now offer yourself a blessing.”
Offer myself a blessing? Really? I had no idea how to do that! What would I bless myself with?
I love offering blessings. I do it often for friends, writing a list of things I wish for them as they enter a new phase of their life, celebrate a birthday, go through struggles, etc. If I can’t come up with something myself, I’ll offer them one of my favourites from John O’Donohue‘s book To Bless the Space Between Us![]()
. I even offer my students a blessing at the end of almost every session or workshop I teach.
Blessing people I care about? Easy-peasy. Because I love them and want the best for them. There was a time, in fact, when I offered people Twitter blessings – a wish for your day in 140 characters or less.
I also love being blessed by others. I feel fortunate that I have received, for example, a Hindu blessing from a woman in a tiny village in India, and an Orthodox blessing from a priest in an ancient church in Ethiopia. Blessings are powerful things that can carry us a long way.
But offering a blessing for myself? Honestly – I didn’t have a clue how to do that. AND it had never occurred to me that I should. And yet… I love myself don’t I? And doesn’t the Bible teach us to “love our neighbours as ourselves”? To love them (and to bless them), I first have to love myself.
As soon as I heard Sylvia Boorstein say it though, I knew that it was something I needed to learn how to do. I need to bless myself.
I need to believe that I am worthy of being blessed just like I believe my friends and family are worthy. I need to offer myself the same compassion and kindness that I am willing to offer those I love.
Sylvia suggested the following blessing, and I’m trying to offer it to myself at least once a day. I may even print it and hang it by my bed so I see it first thing in the morning.
May I feel safe.
May I feel happy.
May I feel strong.
May I live with ease.
Just now, laying on the couch in the middle of the night because I woke up with a stress ball in my stomach, I put my hand on my heart and said it aloud. It feels kind of powerful.
