IMPORTANT UPDATE
As of April 2024, my blog has moved over to Substack where I’m co-hosting A Tender Space (together with my business partner at Centre for Holding Space). You can find my new writing plus podcast episodes there, or sign up below to get them in your inbox.
Here’s some of my earlier writing…
Pandemic: This nebulous landscape
Listen to me read: Nebulous [ neb-yuh-luhs ] adjective hazy, vague, indistinct, or confusedcloudy or cloudlikeof or resembling a nebula or nebulae in deep space; nebular When the lockdown is over, I will go back to the float spa. When I climb into that white pod,...
The self-help industry needs to grow up
image credit: Andy Holmes, Unsplash On New Year’s Eve, I was contacted by a local radio station to do an interview on how to prepare for the new year. I didn’t get back to them soon enough, so they found someone else. Later that day, on my way to the grocery store, I...
There are many ways of knowing (and science is just one of them)
photo credit: Greg Rakozy, Unsplash “Is there empirical evidence that backs up your holding space concepts?” I’ve heard some version of this question a few times in recent months. Sometimes it comes from people who are simply curious, sometimes they want to include my...
When we search for meaning, sometimes there’s a shadow lurking underneath
"Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose." – Viktor E. Frankl Before my trip to Ethiopia in 2007, my friend and colleague Sam (who lived there and was traveling with us into some of the poorest parts of the country)...
On trauma, abuse, and the justification that helps us cope with cognitive dissonance
image credit: Jonatan Pie, Unsplash I was driving home this morning (bringing home donuts, if you really must know), when a half-ton truck pulled up within inches of my rear bumper, impatient to pass me and trying to find an opening in the next lane to speed by me. I...
Watching the train derail when you can’t get out of the way
photo credit: JP Valery, Unsplash The workday was finished and I had just picked up my two daughters – one a toddler and one an infant at the time – from daycare and we were on our way home in the family minivan. I was tired and knew that I still had to find enough...
What if we show the mess?
photo credit: Andy Holmes, Unsplash I didn’t rake the leaves off the lawn this Fall. My climate activist daughter regularly sends me articles about how the dead leaves create biodiversity in the backyard, serving as places for insects (including pollinators) to...
The trauma memories my shoulder holds (and the alchemy of rewriting the narrative)
photo credit: vladimir kozhevnikov, unsplash listen to me read this post... A few weeks ago, my shoulder started to ache. My right shoulder has become a bit of a barometer for my emotional state. Specifically, it tends to ache when there are trauma memories being...
Holding Space is Not About Willful Blindness or Complacency in the Face of Injustice
Not long after my first attempt at defining holding space, I changed some of my original language and I added a few important nuances. Specifically: I stopped talking about “non-judgement” and replaced it with “selective non-judgement”; I started talking about...
Contraction and expansion: Sometimes you have to get smaller before you get bigger
So… I’m launching a book. From my bedroom. Sigh. I had high hopes for what this season of my life would be. Back in late 2019, when I settled on September 29th as the date my book would be launched into the world, I was imagining myself heading out on an extensive...
Shawnigan Lake, B.C.
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