In just 45 days, I will turn 45. It doesn’t really scare me, or depress me. In fact, I feel quite good about it. I’m enjoying my 40s. It’s a beautiful middle ground. You’re old enough to be taken seriously, but young enough to be forgiven for still making foolish mistakes.
I’m more relaxed in my skin, comfortable with who I am, and confident in my own wisdom than I ever was in my 20s or 30s. I’m no longer dealing with the stress of early parenthood or all of that self-doubt when you just can’t figure out what you want to be when you grow up. (Not that I’ve mastered either of those things, but rather that I’m more comfortable with the not-knowing).
Just before I turned 40, I wrote a post called “40 days ’til 40” (on my old blog) about the ways that I wanted to spend 40 days in preparation for my 40s intentionally seeking out more opportunities for contemplation, creativity, spirituality, and physical activity. I’m happy to say that those 40 days helped set the tone for this decade – I’ve done more of all of those things (and been more intentional about them) in my 40s than I ever did before.
After those 40 days of preparation, I did two big things to mark my 40th birthday – I got my nose pierced and I went skydiving. Those two things ushered in a more fearless decade than I’ve ever had (as you saw in the last post). Jumping out of a plane made me feel like I was capable of doing almost anything. (Incidentally, for my last birthday, I had a bra-burning party to celebrate my breast reduction surgery. I have this thing for marking major milestones.)
Now that it’s 45 days until my 45th birthday, I’m contemplating how I should mark the midway point in this decade. Once again, I want to do something that challenges my fear and teaches me new lessons in my current theme… letting go of the ground. (By the way, I hope to release my e-course by that name on my birthday!)
That’s where YOU come in.
I’m hoping to come up with 45 ways of turning 45. In other words… 45 ways of being fearless, 45 ways of letting go of the ground, or 45 ways of embracing my feminine wisdom and growing my creativity.
Can you help me? Leave your suggestions (on any of those themes, or come up with a way to combine them ALL) in the comments or email me. I’m not saying I’ll do them all, but I’ll at least do one or two that feel like a good fit.
Keep in mind that our finances are not abundant right now (as I struggle to build a new business) so if your idea is expensive, you’ll also have to come up with an idea for financing it.
Give it your best shot… how can I become a more FEARLESS 45?
p.s. one of my plans is to run my first half-marathon a few weeks after my birthday.
Yes, it’s my birthday. It is with great relief that I say good-bye to last year and usher in a new one. Last year seemed to be the year of “refining” and in my experience, refining is rarely fun. I’m ready to move on!
The beauty of turning 44 is that you’ve reached an age where you care less and less about how silly you might look. Some day I’ll probably wear a purple dress with a red hat! 🙂 Or a Mardi Gras mask to work. (Darn – I wish I’d thought of that today!)
As a way of ushering in a new year, I want to make a new commitment to myself, and I’d like you to join me! Please raise your right and repeat with me the pledge of the Sisterhood of the Burning Bra:
As an esteemed member of the Sisterhood of the Burning Bra, I hereby commit to doing my best to do the following:
- commit to the fire the old stories that serve no other purpose but to shackle me
- listen more carefully to the wisdom of my body and honour it when it sends me signals related to hunger, fullness, rest, and movement
- not listen quite as carefully to the negative voices in my head that are usually lying to me
- giggle with glee when I feel like it
- make a confession when I have wronged someone and then believe that I am forgiven
- lean on my sisters around the circle and trust that they will offer compassion, wisdom, and courage
- let myself be guided into the place of power that the Creator makes available to me
- stand up more boldly and say “NO!” when people try to shovel unnecessary guilt on my shoulders
- wiggle my toes in the sand and be moved by the sense of touch
- honour the other sisters in the circle and offer them my giftedness
- dream really crazy big dreams
- not allow fear to hold a larger space in my life than it deserves
- wear Mardi Gras masks (or silly hats or mismatched socks) once in awhile, just for fun
- gently forgive myself for the times when I fail to live up to these commitments
- hold occasional rituals where I burn symbols of the things I want to let go of
Thank you for being in my circle! (And by the way, I welcome all brothers into the circle too! Some of you are my best allies and I don’t want to leave you out!)
For a couple of related posts, check out my guest posts at Square Peg Reflections and at Blisschick. I’m delighted to have been welcomed into their spaces on this special day!
I turned 41 today.
Who knew 41 could feel so young?
Who knew I’d still know so little about the meaning of life?
Who knew I’d still have so many doubts and insecurities?
Who knew I’d still often feel like I’m just “playing house”?
Who knew I’d still get zits and blackheads like a teenager?
Who knew I’d still dream about “what I’m gonna do when I grow up”?
41 feels anticlimactic after 40. Last year there was a big party to celebrate. There was a new nose-piercing to mark the day. There was a jump out of an airplane to prove I’m still young and very much alive and haven’t lost my risk-taking abilities.
Today there is little other than an occasional “happy birthday” greeting or phone call, a supper with Marcel’s family, and an afternoon of quiet and perhaps even boredom. The weather’s unpleasant, two people in the family are sick, and there’s not much to do that can be done inside and doesn’t cost much money. I think I’ll go curl up under my blankie and read a few pages until my eyes drift shut.
Maybe I AM getting old if an afternoon nap is a suitable way to spend a birthday afternoon.
My little butterfly turned five this weekend.
Happy Birthday, Maddie Monkey.
You’re growing so quickly, it almost takes my breath away. Some day soon, you’ll stop having baths with me, and you’ll no longer beg for lie-with-me-night. Some day soon, you won’t reach your arms up for me to lift you into the air. Some day you won’t ask for “trouble” and then laugh as I toss you onto the bed. Some day you won’t tell me funny stories about the little man in your toe who wipes his tiny little bum. Some day you won’t want to play “would you rather” anymore. Some day, you won’t pull out your little Fisher Price schoolhouse and ask me to play the teacher/mother while you play the child. Some day, you’ll read your own story books and no longer care if I read them to you. Some day we won’t build high towers out of Lego. Some day, you’ll ride your own bicycle and no longer bounce around on the tag-a-long, singing and laughing. Some day I won’t push you on the swing anymore.
When that day comes, I’m sure I will cherish the new moments that come with it, but a piece of me will wish that today had lasted just a little longer.
(Yes, it’s birthday week around here!)
It fills my heart with wonder how quickly you have grown