by Heather Plett | Mar 25, 2005 | Uncategorized
It didn’t start off well. There’s just NOTHING fun about listening to your baby cry “owie, owie, OWWIEEE!” for nearly 4 hours in the middle of the night. Maddie woke up at 2:00 a.m., complaining that she hurt – somewhere in the general vicinity of her left ear. She cried and cried, and there wasn’t much we could do about it. “Mommy, the hurt won’t go away!” I tried heating up towels, but that only offered momentary relief. I tried giving her liquid Tylenol, but she spit that all over the bed (MY side of the bed, none-the-less). Finally, at around 6:00 a.m., after I’d managed to get her to swallow enough medicine to wear off the edges of the pain, she fell asleep, and so did I – at least for a little while.
I didn’t go to work. After Marcel had gotten Nikki and Julie off to school and had headed to school himself, I took Maddie to the walk-in clinic. I thought it would be faster than going all the way downtown to our regular doctor, but BOY was I WRONG! We waited for over 2 hours. Fortunately, I’d managed to get her to ingest some more Tylenol before visiting the doctor, so she was in reasonably good spirits. After waiting that long, it took less than 2 minutes for the doctor to examine her throat and ear, determine both were infected, and write her a prescription for penicillin.
By then, the drugs had started to wear off, and she was getting cranky again. We came back home, she took more Tylenol, and before long she was sleeping again.
Somewhere along the line, as I was tucking the blanket around her, making sure she was comfortable, I realized that, in an odd way, this was just the kind of day I needed. It’s hard to explain, but after travelling and working so hard at a new job, I really needed a Mommy day. Today I was director of nothing, communicator of nothing, globetrotter nowhere – I was just Mommy. And that suited me just fine.
Sometimes I forget that I need this. That I want it. I get caught up in being who I am away from this home. And with Marcel picking up so many of the pieces while I’m away, I forget that I’m still needed around here. Once in awhile, especially after I’ve been away for a while and they’ve had a chance to bond without me (and after three weeks it’s especially noticeable), I feel a little outside the circle. I even get a little resentful when Marcel knows things about the kids that I don’t know. I snap at him when he tells me how Maddie likes her toast – he’s not supposed to know more about her than me! There’s also a tiny bit of me that gets jealous when he gets to greet them when they step off the bus, or volunteer for hot lunches at school.
Don’t get me wrong – I love the way our life is working out these days. I love that I can have a great job and not feel guilty about shirking my parenting duties because my kids are well cared for by their daddy. I love that I can travel, and come home to a content family who survived quite well without me. I love it because these roles suit both Marcel and I quite well. I love all that, but deep down, I still want to be Mommy too.
So for today, I got to be just Mommy. I got to hold her on my lap when she cried. I caressed her cheek when it hurt. I tucked the blankets around her, and never once for a moment thought about what needed to be done at the office. Next week, I’ll go back to being “corporate me”, but for today, “mommy me” was quite happy to take the reins.
by Heather Plett | Mar 24, 2005 | Uncategorized
This afternoon I played “cool mom” instead of “cruel mom”. Did a presentation in each of the girls classes this afternoon. About Africa. Now THERE’S a fun way to spend the afternoon. I made sure I inserted enough bathroom humour to keep them giggling (threw in a picture or two of a “squatty potty”), plenty of cool animals for the oohs and aahs, lots of things for them to touch, some jewellery for the girls to try on – you name it.
Nikki and Julie were positively glowing by the end of the afternoon. Gotta love it when everyone in class thinks your mom is cool! Guess this kinda makes up for yesterday’s less-than-stellar moments.
by Heather Plett | Mar 23, 2005 | Uncategorized
Reliving memories of Africa…aahhh! Yes, I wanna go back!
by Heather Plett | Mar 23, 2005 | Uncategorized
I remember when
I wanted to know her
But didn’t know how to make her acquaintance
How do you tell someone
Hey I like you, I think you’re cool – wanna be friends?
We used to know how, when we were kids
But then we grew up and forgot how
Because we made relationships too complicated
And all those things like kids and schedules and priorities
Got in the way
I wanted to know her
Because she was fascinating
And honest
And had interesting stories to tell
I wanted to know her
Because she had a great laugh
She didn’t pretend to be too cool
She made mistakes and let the flaws show
Finally, one day – I don’t remember exactly when
We started to be friends
We danced the early steps of the relationship dance
We tested the waters with occasional secrets
And opened up corners of vulnerability
We shared lattés
We talked about writing
We told more secrets
We went deeper
The waters felt safe
The truth got easier
Each realized the other wasn’t judging
We could be moms with flaws
And wives with flaws
And it was okay
It felt like home
It felt real
There is comfort in friendship
by Heather Plett | Mar 23, 2005 | Uncategorized
Do you ever get the feeling you are a profound failure as a parent? I do. Regularly. Tonight was one of those nights.
After fighting with Nikki for about an hour over her piano lessons (she’s not quite grasping the scale concept), listening to her berate herself for being dumb, listening to her scream at me for making her practice piano instead of going to the mall, I was completely spent.
And what do I get for my efforts? Her pronouncement that she was going to shop for a t-shirt that says “Moms are cruel”. Maybe I should go into a t-shirt franchise – I could make a whole whack ‘a dough off disgruntled children with t-shirts like THAT!
But…when our fight was over and the dust had settled, what did I do? Well, I made cupcakes for her Easter party at school. Now I ask you, would a cruel parent do THAT?
by Heather Plett | Mar 22, 2005 | Uncategorized
Driving to IDC last night to return the truck we’d borrowed, I was following behind in the van. Marcel was in the front with all three girls strapped in the back seat of the truck (it’s a kick-ass truck with leather seats, you name it – they were quite happy to hang out there).
As the mind does when both body and mind are tired but neither can rest yet, my meandering brain conjured up pictures of the truck in front of me losing control, crashing into a tree, or busting through the railing of the bridge over the floodway. Common sense tried to regain control and convince my non-submissive brain that no such thing was going to happen, but there was no stopping the film-strip flashing before my inner eyes. It wasn’t long before I’d almost convinced myself that it HAD happened, and that my life, in one devastating moment, had become devoid of all that I love and hold dear. Before long, as I fought back real tears brought on by the fake scenario, my mind had raced on to envision myself hunched over the bodies of my beloved ones in the ditch.
Crazy how the mind works. Before long, all were safe and sound in the van with me, and the family that did not die drove home to their beds.
