by Heather Plett | Oct 11, 2010 | Uncategorized
“Hello, my name is Heather Plett and I am an accomplishment-aholic.” Cringe.
It’s true. I’m addicted to accomplishments. I NEED to see results or I start to get twitchy.
Even though I’ve been determined to not be too driven this month and to spend some time in sabbatical letting ideas percolate, there’s a piece of me that is TOTALLY STRESSING OUT about it all.
This morning, I started feeling that familiar ball of anxiety in my belly, reminding me that I’ve already been off work for a week and I have so little to show for it.
As always, my well developed Mennonite work ethic was whispering in my ear “Thou shalt not fritter away the day!”
And then there were all the other voices that chimed in… “if you’re so determined NOT to build your business too quickly and instead spend time in the neutral zone between the old and the new letting creative ideas take shape, well then shouldn’t you at least be keeping the house clean? Or shouldn’t you be making amazing delicious meals for your family to enjoy? Or shouldn’t you have at least painted something, or redecorated the house, or read a dozen books, or… SOMETHING?”
I know what you’re thinking… I’ve been known to write about and teach people that “you have to give the creative muse space to breathe” and “transitions shouldn’t be rushed” and “sometimes when it seems like nothing’s happening, the most important things are brewing under the surface”. I KNOW THOSE THINGS! But sometimes they’re easier said than done.
This morning, after a healthy dialogue, I told those pesky voices to shut up for awhile, grabbed my iPod and my running shoes, and went outside to enjoy this glorious Fall morning. After all, isn’t that what you’re SUPPOSED to do on Thanksgiving – just hang out being thankful?
I wish I could tell you that I stepped into the sunshine and that ball of anxiety just magically vanished. But it didn’t. It came with me – stubborn, annoying thing that it is.
Feeling a little bored with my surroundings and not fully enjoying myself because of that ugly ball, I wandered into a different part of my neighbourhood than I usually do. There’s a large undisturbed stand of trees that I’d been meaning to explore. I crunched my way down leaf-covered trails and found a log to sit on. There I sat, trying to let the trees and the birds and the squirrels ease the mood I was in.
I closed my eyes and tried to examine just what that ball felt like and in which part of my body it sat. It was large, resting in the pit of my stomach, but pushing up into my lungs so that a deep breath was difficult.
I whispered a little prayer, “God/Goddess, take this ball and make it into something beautiful.”
And then I pictured Sophia (the feminine wisdom of God/Goddess) reaching inside me taking hold of this large clay ball, pulling it toward herself, and shaping it lovingly in her hands. It was beautiful watching her, the sunlight dancing in her hair. But she’s too slow for my accomplishment-aholic mind, and I got impatient when I couldn’t see the results. “What is it going to BE?!” I demanded, but she just smiled and winked. And kept shaping.
Not totally satisfied and too restless to sit, I got up and walked away. Sophia frustrates me sometimes.
I wandered further into the woods where there were no paths. The smell of rotting leaves reached my nose. “See how I create these woods?” Sophia whispered. “It takes years and years and many cycles of the seasons – birth, death, rot, rest, re-birth – to grow them into this lovely place where you can wander. The winter ahead is a long one, but the trees will wait through it. Have patience my child.”
Patience, schmatience! I’m not a tree – I have to make a living after all!
And then I spotted them – purple leaves! In just one tiny section of the woods, vines were drooping from the trees and all of their leaves were the most lovely shade of purple. Few other leaves were left on the other trees or plants in the same area, so the sun shone through, illuminating just the purple leaves in an enchanted corner of the woods. It looked like a special little place where fairies would gather to dance in the twilight, wrapping garlands of purple leaves around their necks as they giggled and danced.
I don’t know why, but those purple leaves finally shifted my mood. Maybe it was the knowledge that these vines that I’d never noticed before grow in this one little corner of the woods completely un-noticed and un-appreciated by anyone all summer long. But when it comes their time to shine – when all the other plants have released their leaves – they burst forth in magical purple, oblivious to whether or not anyone is paying attention.
I want to be a purple-leafed vine.
- I want to shine in all my uniqueness, even when few people notice.
- I want to offer the magic that somebody stumbles upon the moment she most needs it.
- I want to be prepared to give up those purple leaves at the end of the season when it’s time for rest and rejuvenation.
- I want to offer up what the world needs – even if it means surrender and (gulp) death – for growth and re-birth.
- I want to be ready for my own new growth when that season has arrived.
How’s that for a business plan?
(I didn’t have my camera with me in the woods, but I brought a few leaves home with me.)
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? – Matthew 6:28-30
by Heather Plett | Oct 10, 2010 | Uncategorized
crunchy leaves underfoot
conversations that comfort and challenge
epiphanies in coffee shops
my new macbook
my husband, who sold his boat to buy me a macbook
the new ipod touch that came free with the macbook
the amazing wisdom from teachnow that is soaking into my heart
fall weather so beautiful it’s difficult to stay inside
sophia and all that she is birthing in me
birthday breakfast with my mother-in-law who looks finally at peace
potatoes baking in the oven for tonight’s thanksgiving meal
extended family that I’ll share tonight’s meal with
daughters treating each other with respect (at least at this moment)
wandering in the sunshine on a Friday afternoon
new business cards, on order, complete with my own photography
upcoming inspiration
these words, shaping me… “I am a teacher”
these other words, long alive in me… “I am a writer”
running past a bird-song-filled pond while a hot air balloon is rising with the sun
comfortable running shoes
a new water bottle & ipod holster that makes the running even more pleasant
three new books waiting to be savoured
watching my oldest daughter play volleyball passionately after a difficult year of no sports
my camera
the peace of knowing I’ve taken the right step
by Heather Plett | Oct 8, 2010 | Uncategorized
It’s official – I have become one of those obnoxious people who rave about the joys of running while chatting with friends at cocktail parties. I know – I usually want to shoot those people when I see them, so I understand your sentiments. (Please don’t shoot me.)
Bear with me for awhile… (or run off to another blog and come back when I’m talking about things that don’t annoy you).
On Wednesday, just after I’d finished a vigorous 7 kilometre run and came home sweaty and red-faced like you see in the picture below, I opened my friend Desiree’s post, and she had done her Wednesday Wisdom video about the power and impact of sweat. She quoted Rev. Jesse Jackson… “Both tears and sweat are salty, but they render a different result. While tears will get you sympathy, sweat will get you change.” I burst out laughing at her impeccable timing. Little did she know I was at that moment leaning my head away from the computer so I didn’t drip all over the keyboard. I sweat A LOT. Just ask my children, who like to laugh at me after I run.
Seriously though, it feels SO GOOD to sweat. If you don’t have a regular activity that brings out the sweat in you, maybe it’s time.
Here are a few of the benefits of my morning running routine (and almost any sweat-inducing exercise regime.)
- Energy. I rarely get that mid-afternoon energy slump when I’ve been running.
- Change. My body is changing – for the better. No, I haven’t lost much weight, but it feels healthy and strong and my posture is better (which is also partly due to my breast reduction surgery).
- Epiphanies! My brain does wonderful things when I run, and often my best ideas show up during this time.
- Alone time. When you’ve got as many people making demands on your time as I do, you certainly appreciate 45 blessed minutes when not one expectation is waiting to be met and not one person is interrupting your thoughts.
- Community. Although I love to run alone, it’s quite lovely meeting other runners and doing the smile and nod that says “hey – we’re in this together!”
- Music. I don’t often spend 45 minutes of uninterrupted time listening to good music, but when I run I do.
- Neighbourhood. You get to see more of your neighbourhood streets and notice more of the interesting details than you ever do in a car.
- Meditation. The repetitive movement of your footsteps on pavement really does magical meditative things to your mind.
- Sunrise. And mist on the river. And early birds getting the worms. And all that is beautiful in the early hours when the world is waking up.
- Something to talk about at cocktail parties. Ha!
Have I convinced you yet? Or do you still want to shoot me?
p.s. I just discovered that my friend Julie Daley wrote a great post about the joy and pride of being “women who sweat“.
by Heather Plett | Oct 7, 2010 | Uncategorized
There’s something BIG bubbling on the internet. Can you feel it?
It’s bubbling in the comments of my last post. It’s bubbling over at Jen’s site and Tara’s site and Rachelle’s site, and in conversations with wise people like Lianne and Desiree.
It’s not just me feeling the nudges of Sophia to get out there and DO SOMETHING. Lots of women are stepping up and saying “Hey! That’s enough! We are tired of seeing youth commit suicide because of discrimination. We’ve had enough of young girls getting taken into sex slavery or being forced to marry at the age of twelve. We are FED UP with the number of women getting raped in conflict situations.”
Those of us coming of age in the post-feminist era have spent a couple of decades figuring out just how to be fully alive, spiritually awakened, and in love with ourselves. We’ve been to the spiritual retreats, we’ve spent hours on yoga mats and meditation cushions… and that’s all good stuff. (Sophia loves it when we retreat and get groovy with her.) But now it’s time to get OFF THE MAT and shake this world up with a real live revolution!
I don’t mean we should leave our spirituality and self-discovery behind – I mean that we should take it with us and PUT IT TO USE! (This is not your father’s revolution, after all.)
This much I know… Sophia is a major pest and she won’t let us live with ourselves until we live what we preach.
So here’s what I’m going to do for starters…
I pledge to trust my feminine wisdom to help me make a difference in the world for the young women on this list (pictured below) who have been taken into slavery and are actively being searched for by a wonderful, home-grown organization I spent time with in India. (Read more about that here.)
I’m working on some plans to give a portion of the proceeds of whatever money comes in from Sophia Leadership to this organization. When I visited two years ago, they were building a new facility where the young women who they’d rescued could live and be rehabilitated and trained for some occupation (we met women who were learning to sew, for example). I don’t know if the building is complete, but I’m going to get in touch with them and find out what kind of project we can help them support.
It’s time, people. Time to start imagining what can change if ALL of us (women AND men) learn to trust our feminine wisdom, learn to act out of compassion instead of just the bottom line, learn to honour the beauty in everyone, learn to trust the spiritual core in each of us that longs to reach out to the spiritual core in others, learn to use our yoga, our meditation, our writing, our voices, our wisdom, and all of the things we’ve been gifted with to CHANGE THE WORLD!
Are you ready for a revolution?
If my post hasn’t managed to fire you up, maybe this video will. (Thanks to Kind Over Matter for the link.)
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e8xgF0JtVg&feature=player_embedded]
by Heather Plett | Oct 5, 2010 | Uncategorized
Here’s the thing… Sophia won’t leave me alone.
She’s like a kid who won’t stop begging and pleading and stomping her foot until she gets a big red lollipop. But she’s not just an annoying neighbourhood kid who goes home at the end of the day – OH NO – that would be too easy. SHE HAS MOVED IN AND IS TAKING OVER MY LIFE! She doesn’t just want lollipops, she wants everything I’ve got to give!
No, I haven’t mysteriously given birth to a fourth daughter named Sophia, and yet it sure FEELS like this is something that is being birthed in me.
A few months ago, I shared an epiphany about how I felt called into a new space, a new vocation… something I tentatively called “Sophia Leadership”. It was based on a pretty strong sense that what the world desperately needs right now is a whole lot of people (women and men) who will step forward in courage and trust their feminine, spiritual wisdom. I believe that this wisdom can shift the course of leadership and help the world move in a direction toward light and hope instead of darkness and despair.
I believe all of these things, but… a whole lot of doubt and fear keeps drawing me away from that beautiful epiphany. Even though I finally took a BIG step and moved away from my full time job with the intention of more fully committing myself to writing, teaching, and consulting, there was still a huge piece of me that thought “I have to be practical. I have to pay the bills. I don’t have enough skills for this work yet. I won’t find work in Sophia Leadership – at least not right away – so I have to market my other skills in communications, public relations, blah, blah, blah.”
But here’s where things get interesting… You see, every time I let myself follow fear into that tunnel called “practicality and paying the bills”, Sophia finds me and lures me back.
First, there was the horse.
The day after I’d told my boss I was quitting my job (in July), I went on my annual pilgrimage to the Folk Festival. As I often do at some point when the crowds have begun to overwhelm me and I need some quiet, meditative time, I wandered to the edge of the fenced-in area where there’s a labyrinth, some outdoor art, and very few people. As I wandered, I wrestled with just what I was going to birth once I’d walked away from my job. The argument was there in full force… “I’m pretty sure I’m being called to do this Sophia work.” “But that would be foolish! Nobody will get it and you won’t make any money and your family will hate you and… blah, blah, blah.”
Standing by the fence, I watched two horses and riders approach. It was a mother and daughter out for an evening ride. They stopped near me, and we began a conversation. I grew up with horses and have always felt a strong pull toward them. This moment was no exception.
“What are the horses’ names?” I asked. Well… you’ve probably figured out by now… the bigger of the two, the most magnificent horse I’ve seen in a long time, was named Sophia.
“Why did you call her Sophia?” I asked the woman, trying not to let on that this was hugely significant for me. I saw the woman’s eyes light up. “Well, I named her that because I’ve been reading about how Sophia means wisdom and how there were knights in King Arthur’s court who used to worship the goddess Sophia.”
As if that wasn’t enough, the next thing she said sealed the deal. “It’s a good thing my husband isn’t around,” she said with a blush and a sideways glance over her shoulder as if she expected him to vapourize out of thin air. “He hates it when I talk about this stuff and doesn’t want me to talk about it in front of other people. He thinks this goddess stuff and feminine wisdom is a bunch of horse shit.”
And then it came to me, like a lightening bolt… “It is for women like this – women who have been taught not to trust their feminine wisdom – that you are being called into Sophia Leadership.” Gulp.
I wish I could tell you that was the end of the internal arguments, but that would be a lie. Apparently I’m a slow learner, because even after that encounter, I spent the rest of the summer wrestling with what to call my business, whether to be a generalist or a specialist, what kinds of contracts I should look for, etc., etc.
The truth is, I need to pay the bills, and that keeps weighing heavily on my shoulders. I created a generic website. I started accepting contracts that I knew I could do quite easily, but that weren’t really on the path Sophia was leading me down. But then, once again, it seemed Sophia had different ideas.
I was supposed to be working this week, but the contract got taken away. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I breathed a sigh of relief, and began to focus on taking October as my sabbatical/thinking/learning/growing month before jumping into any kind of work.
Which leads me to yesterday, my first day of self-employment. I decided it was time for my annual pilgrimage to my dad’s grave in the town where I grew up (two hours from where I live now). I enjoyed a lovely drive out into the prairies, wandered around the almost-ghost-town where I once lived, spent a little time talking to my dad, and then headed to Neepawa, the nearby town where I’d gone to high school, to find a place to eat lunch.
For reasons I can’t explain, I felt an inexplicable desire to visit the Stone Angel (a monument in the cemetery that was made famous when Margaret Lawrence named a novel after it). I’ve never been a huge Lawrence fan, so the Stone Angel never held much significance to me. I don’t think I’ve visited since high school. But this time the thought wouldn’t leave me alone. I had to visit.
I drove into the cemetery, and before I even realized that I’d reached the monument, my eyes fell to the base of it. Guess what name was there? Sophia. She was the wife of the founding father of Neepawa in whose honour the monument was erected.
I stopped my vehicle, stood in front of the monument, and started to cry. There was Sophia, in beautiful weathered stone, looking down at me and nudging me once again.
As a bit of a postscript to all this serendipity… today, things got even more freaky.
I got a note from my friend Desiree telling me someone she knew online thought she should connect with me because we have a lot in common. She chuckled when she told her we already knew each other. Then I got a note from my friend Lianne, inviting me to join a blog party. One of the other women she had invited turned out to be the same woman who’d told Desiree she should meet me. She said she’d never heard of me before, but had been inexplicably drawn to my blog today (through a link on Jamie’s blog) and then found out both Desiree and Lianne are connected to me.
Her name? Tara SOPHIA Mohr! One of her deepest passions? Convincing women that they should be trusting their wisdom and changing the world. Oh my! Goosebumps!!
For some reason that I don’t fully understand, Sophia chose me for this work and she is NOTHING if not persistent.
I GET IT Sophia! Here’s that big red lollipop, and here’s ME!
So… guess what I’ll be doing for the rest of the month? Hanging out with Sophia and letting her guide me down this path.
by Heather Plett | Oct 4, 2010 | Uncategorized
In her increasingly shaky hand, my grandmother used to paint it on cushions and wall hangings with her beloved liquid embroidery. “Today is the first day of the rest of your life.”
Of course it is, Grandma, I used to think, but why is such an obvious statement worth painting on a cushion?
Now that I’m over 40, I get it. Today is a beginning. Every day is a beginning. A new chance to get it right, to learn from your mistakes, to show grace, to share beauty.
And this day, for me, marks an even more significant “first day” because it’s the beginning of a long held dream. I am self-employed. I answer to nobody but myself. I get to make myself up as I go along.
I’m practising saying these words. “I am a writer.” “I am a teacher.” “I am a leadership consultant.” “I am a communications consultant.” “I am an entrepreneur.”
I’m not sure yet which will be my favourite elevator pitch. For today, I’ve decided that I don’t have to know for certain. I get to practice for awhile and see what fits.
In a rather fortuitous turn of events, the first contract that fell into my lap was just as quickly taken out of my lap, and I couldn’t be happier. It would have required of me that I jump into work right away this week and not have time to catch my breath. Plus it was old work that I’ve already done, so it would have been mostly about making money and not about the new path I want to forge. So I breathed a sigh of relief and let it go.
Because it has always been my intention to turn the month of October into a sabbatical. I need rest and replenishment. I need time to be in the “neutral space”. I need to be able to wander and think and learn and explore without feeling the pressure to be doing something more productive.
At the same time, though, I don’t want to wake up a couple of weeks from now and realize I’ve wasted all of my time on the internet, so I’m setting some intentions for every day. For today, I started by getting up with the sun and going for a 7 kilometre (4 mile) run. And now I’m going on a pilgrimage to some special places in search of some of the wisdom I often find there. I’ll tell you more about those places when I have returned.
On my way…
