by Heather Plett | May 12, 2010 | Creativity, dreaming, journey, savour, Uncategorized
It’s been an emotionally heavy month in an emotionally heavy year. Some days, it feels like my heart doesn’t know where to land anymore. I have been torn apart by some pretty significant work challenges, relationship challenges, leadership challenges, parenting challenges, marriage challenges, and any number of ordinary day-to-day life challenges.
It hasn’t all been bad, but sometimes it feels like I would do almost anything for just a bit of good news for a change, or just a few weeks of carefree, easy living.
With that in mind, when Jamie asked “what do you wish to experience” for this week’s Wishcasting Wednesday, I thought “oh my – it’s Spring, with Summer just around the corner – and I want to experience SO much of what is good and easy and light-hearted and beautiful in the world.”
I don’t need blow-your-mind big moments, I just need a good long series of simple, good things. So here are some of those things I wish to experience:
- A retreat. A few days of delicious, non-guilt-inducing, non-heavy-thinking, simple, refreshing retreat.
- A few dozen long, luxurious, wind-at-your-back bike rides, with or without companions.
- Some photo walks, where I get lost behind the lens, staring at bees landing on flowers, broken glass on the sidewalk, or the way the setting sun sets the leaves aglow.
- Campfires. A drink in hand, the ingredients for s’mores nearby, the crackling fire, and some of the easy people in my life relaxing in lawnchairs around the circle.
- Spontaneous beach days with my daughters. Sand between the toes, ice cream treats, sunshine.
- Quiet moments with a paintbrush and an idea, hiding in my studio/sanctuary.
- A road trip. Laughing in the car, stopping for snacks and pee-breaks, hours and hours of staring out the window.
- Time to write this idea that keeps burning in my brain.
- Lovely little Folk Festival moments – listening to music, hanging out with my sister, watching the dragonflies flutter past.
- Positive changes. Something shifting in the areas of my life that feel stuck. Emerging from this tunnel into the Summer sunshine.
- Connections. A few deep and honest conversations with safe people who wake me up to new truths.
- Rest. (Can we get back to that retreat? Oh how I long for it!)
- Mostly I just want to experience an easy stretch on this “journey” I’m on this year. A straight stretch of road, with lovely scenery where nothing jumps out on the road ahead of me and no storm clouds blur the view.
That’s enough for now. It doesn’t seem like too tall an order, does it?
by Heather Plett | May 10, 2010 | fearless, Leadership, Uncategorized
About 10 years ago, I picked up my first Margaret Wheatley book and knew fairly quickly that there was something unique about the wisdom I held in my hands. She wasn’t just spewing out old ideas about leadership and organizational structure – she was daring to paint a different picture.
This past weekend, I finished reading A Simpler Way, and can I just say – Wow. I don’t know if there’s a single page that doesn’t have something underlined on it and/or notes in the margins.
If you haven’t spent years of your life working in various organizational structures that have the ability to drive you up the wall with their bureaucracy, short-sightedness and lack of beauty, you might not find this book particularly interesting. But if you’re stuck in a system that regularly makes you think “isn’t there a better way?”, then this may be the book for you.
Meg Wheatley and her co-author believe that there IS a better way – a simpler way. She believes that if we look at the scientific order of things, we can see that nature draws us toward organization and structure BUT it does not draw us toward the kind of organization most of us are stuck in. It draws us toward organization that is mutually beneficial, creative, organic, messy, and beautiful.
Wheatley believes that much of the way we organize is based on a flawed view of evolution. If we base our world view on “survival of the fittest”, then much of the way we structure our organizations (and our lives) is bounded by fear. Build an organization (or a life) based on fear, and you need to put rules, policies, procedures, and strategic plans into place to keep people in line. Spend most of your time keeping people in line, and you’ll lose their creativity and passion.
If, on the other hand, we recognize that nature’s true way of evolving leads species to co-exist peaceably (and often in mutually beneficial ways), we begin to realize that our own innate desires and movement is toward positive growth for us and our organizations. We begin to fear less and create more.
In the book, the authors share a story of some scientists who made some new discoveries on Galapagos Islands that didn’t fit with Darwin’s theory on survival of the fittest. When there was a limited food supply for a few different species of finches, the finches evolved so that some with longer beaks learned to source food that was deeper in the cacti that they all fed on. Instead of fighting for the same food source, they worked it out so that they could co-exist in the same space.
That thought was revolutionary for me. We are MEANT to work together, to create together, to evolve together. It just makes so much sense! We are not meant to feed off each other’s failure or to compete for limited resources.
This morning, while the ideas of the book were still fresh in my mind, I got an email from our HR manager, reminding the managers that we need to submit “annual performance appraisals” for all of our staff. I have always chafed at this responsibility, and after reading the book, I started to understand why. It is based on a negative framework. Rather than starting from something positive, we put boxes around our staff and tell them they have to meet these standards of performance.
I replied to the email suggesting perhaps we could re-name them “annual growth reviews”. (Any better ideas?) Sure, it’s just a simple word change, but it will help me change my perspective. (After all, I work in a non-profit organization that’s all about helping people get access to food – seems like we should forge a different path than most organizations!)
It’s time to kick fear to the curb and see what we are cabable of creating together.
by Heather Plett | May 7, 2010 | gratitude, Uncategorized
A few weeks ago, during the dark time, I had a sudden out-of-the-blue memory that I’d signed up for The Happy Book Mail-around. The thought that followed was “Oh dear God – don’t let it arrive on my doorstep right now! If it does, I may not be able to stop myself from tearing it into shreds and burying the pieces soaked with my bitter tears in the back yard.”
Yeah, you could say I was having a hard time being happy. The world looked pretty dark and despite my efforts to be cheerful and stable for the sake of my husband and kids, I wasn’t doing much to push the clouds back from my own mind. I spent many hours crying in my van or in bed at night. I wanted to be happy, but I just couldn’t see the point.
Thankfully, the book did not arrive during that time. I’m also very relieved to say that “happy” seems so much more possible these days. Marcel is doing much better, and we’re all learning some valuable life lessons in all of this.
Today, in my efforts to reclaim happy, I give you this gratitude list:
- Spring! How can I not be at least a little bit happy with all this cheery green surrounding me?
- A refreshing visit to my brother and sister-in-love’s home in Calgary last weekend. They offered just the kind of uncomplicated love we all needed.
- Soccer. I know at least one person who thinks I’m crazy, but I actually LIKE sitting on the sidelines watching my daughters play soccer.
- Amazing employees. I had one-on-one meetings with my in-house staff yesterday and was reminded of what incredible, capable, and gifted people they all are.
- Suppers that appear on the table without my effort. Marcel is home and he’s been cooking and hey – what’s not to like about that?!
- My little studio/sanctuary in the basement. I’ve been finding little snippets of time to hide in it this week and OH how refreshing that is!
- Friendship. It’s true, when things get rough, true friends show up, and WOW can I just say – I have some incredible friends! Both in-person and online!
- One specific friend who offered to throw me a birthday/bra-burning party in a couple of weeks. How sweet is that?! (Yes, it’s my birthday on May 20! I’m giving you lots of advance warning in case you want to lavish me with gifts. Teehee.)
- Books. I’ve read some great ones lately and they lend me so much comfort, sanctuary, wisdom, and strength.
- Yoga. I’ve managed to drag myself out of bed and do yoga almost every morning this week!
- My daughters. They have been demonstrating such incredible strength and resilience lately and I am so proud of them. Plus they’re funny to boot.
- My husband. After all that he’s been through, he’s starting to worry about me and he sends me out of the house for bookstore dates with myself or to my studio for dates with my paintbrush. And OH MY GOSH he gives good hugs.
- Bengal spice tea. Mmmm.
- Some funky red shoes I bought at Value Village for $7!
- Oh… and one more late-breaking addition to my list. As I was going through my expense account for my Chicago trip, I discovered that I’d been in Walgreens, getting served by JESUS and I didn’t even know it!
Well, that was definitely a good exercise, because I’m feeling happier already! You? What’s on your gratitude list?
by Heather Plett | May 5, 2010 | body
The last couple of months – what with the surgery, the near loss of my beloved, and the trip to a wisdom-filled conference in Chicago stuck in the middle – have included some deep spiritual growth that surprised me and that I’m just now finding the time to process. Most of it has taken me on a different journey than I would have expected.
It’s a journey into my own body.
It’s a journey that includes learning to listen to the secrets my body wants to tell me.
Last night, in my art journal, I painted a picture of my body along with the words “my body is my temple where I meet God”. I’m learning, bit by bit, what those words mean.
Whenever you embark on a spiritual journey, it seems that the wisdom you need for that journey shows up just when you need it.
A few weeks ago, I found a book that must have been in my suitcase for several months but I have no memory of putting it there. Writing begins with the Breath, by Laraine Herring. I started reading it when Marcel was in the hospital, thinking it would be a diversion that would help me plunge into much needed sleep when my mind was busy taking me down roads I didn’t want to go. It was a diversion, but it was also much more closely linked to what I was going through than I expected. The wisdom in it, in fact, helped me share, with tender vulnerability, the story in this post.
There is so much in that book that spoke to me, but the passage that drew me in the most was where the author talks about her own personal story of “leaving her body behind and living in her brain”. That was an “a-ha” moment for me, because it speaks so clearly to my own history. I have always lent more credence to my brain than my body and rarely have I treated my body as anything more than a neglected vehicle to get my brain where it needs to be.
Like every other woman I know, there’s a lot of baggage that I carry around when it comes to my body. I hadn’t really recognized, though (until I read Laraine’s story) how much I was missing in my spiritual journey and my art, writing, and living by not listening to, trusting, and loving my body more.
After that book was done, I picked up Women, Food and God – mostly on a whim on a trip to Costco, never imagining that it was the perfect follow-up book to Writing Begins with the Breath. Wow. Talk about wisdom about the body and the way we interact with it! Reading the book, I felt like Geneen Roth was holding my hand, looking deep into my eyes, and saying “you know this body you’ve been gifted with? Stop treating it like an encumbrance. Start loving it and listening to it like you would a trusted friend. Start believing in it.”
It was like a kick in the pants and a gentle invitation, all at the same time.
Last week, just before we went on our mini-vacation, I started internalizing some of the wisdom those books offered. I am developing new “body practices” that are slowly teaching me what it means to listen to the secrets my body wants to tell me. One of them involves speaking gently to my body – treating it like I would a wise and trusted friend – and saying each morning “dear body – what can I do for you today? What movement do you want? What food do you need to replenish you?” And then before each meal, I say “please, dear body, tell me what you need and when you’ve had enough.”
It’s amazing what your body tells you when you take the time to listen! I’m re-learning how to hear the cues of “hunger” and “fullness” and not simply eat when it’s time to eat or when the food looks good. I’m remarkably satisfied when I’ve eaten what I need.
Geneen Roth talks about how the mind lies to you but the body never does. I’m learning the truth of that statement. My mind tells me silly lies like “if you don’t eat that piece of cake, you’ll never taste sweetness again” or “you really need to finish that plate of food because an empty plate is next to godliness”. My body, on the other hand, tells me “that’s just enough food to give me energy to get through the day. You can stop now.” I’m practicing shutting down the brain and letting the body speak.
Wouldn’t you know it – a third book showed up to carry me one step further. One wouldn’t expect a book called Life’s Companion – Journal Writing as a Spiritual Practice to have anything to do with the body, but… surprise, surprise… it has a whole chapter called “The Guidance of the Body”!
Which brings me back to what I put in my art journal last night – my body as my temple. “You cannot revere the body as a temple at the same time that you despise it. You cannot divide the body between extremes of asceticism or indulgence and expect to understand its role as a spiritual vessel. In this conflicted atmosphere we learn to live in our minds or our bodies, but not to live in the body/mind.” (Christina Baldwin)
What lessons have I learned so far?
- This temple needs a little TLC to make it a more welcoming place for the Spirit to reside.
- When I listen closely, my body tells me what it needs.
- Treating my body with respect is spiritual, not hedonistic.
- Some of the voices in my brain are not worth listening to. Careful discernment tells me which ones those are.
- My body is much more content and filled with more energy when I listen to the cues of “hungry”, “full”, “move”, and “rest”.
- When my body is healthy, I am more able to offer up my giftedness in acts of service.
After painting in my art journal last night, I took it one step further and painted a henna on my stomache. It was truly lovely moment – honouring my body in the presence of its Creator.
by Heather Plett | May 4, 2010 | growth, hope, journey
“When you come to the edge of all that you know, you must believe one of two things: there will be earth to stand on, or you will be given wings to fly.” – Author unknown
Today is my first day back at work after three weeks of spending time with my beloved as we search for healing following his suicide attempt. It’s good to be transitioning back into some form of “normal”, but I have to admit, the ground still feels a little shaky under our feet. Healing doesn’t happen overnight.
I feel a little like what I imagine earthquake survivors must experience – you can’t quite trust the ground anymore. Who knows when the aftershocks will come?
At the same time, though, there is something strangely invigorating about re-building when the metaphorical earthquake has left your foundation unrecognizable. You don’t assume the same things are rock solid anymore, so you factor in more flexibility. You realize you have to re-think old patterns, so you look for better materials on which to build.
Gradually you learn to trust the earth once more, and when it shifts again, you’re more ready to move with it. You enter the dance of change more readily when you’ve learned to bend at the knees.
Though he doesn’t know it, and wouldn’t admit it if you pointed it out to him, Marcel has been my teacher these last few weeks. He is spending a lot of time re-thinking old patterns and habits. He’s reading, he’s learning, he’s talking to wise teachers, and he’s practicing what he learns. He’s trying to find new foundations and new ways of thinking and being that don’t result in the same tragic results. He asks honest questions, and he doesn’t get angry when he doesn’t like the answer. I’ve seen an openness and vulnerability in him in the last few weeks that is remarkable and awe-inspiring. In a family that has never been given to much sharing of emotions, he’s learning to say “I love you” to his siblings. With a personal history of never being able to accept a compliment without turning it into a joke, he’s practicing saying “thank you” and trying hard to believe it. He’s even learning to set aside pride, shame, and stubbornness to say “I need help”. Those are all lessons I can learn from.
We are growing as a family. Our daughters are watching him and they are learning new habits through what they see modeled. They’re watching both of us, and through it all, I believe they’re learning what it takes to build relationships, trust people, grow, adapt, and be strong while still admitting to weakness.
Slowly but surely, beauty is emerging from the ashes.
