IMPORTANT UPDATE
As of April 2024, my blog has moved over to Substack where I’m co-hosting A Tender Space (together with my business partner at Centre for Holding Space). You can find my new writing plus podcast episodes there, or sign up below to get them in your inbox.
Here’s some of my earlier writing…
Confidence: not enough, too much, or just the right amount
At the Winnipeg Folk Festival, where you can find me in attendance every year, there’s a lovely tradition where multiple artists share a stage and take turns performing songs that are loosely connected to a predetermined theme. (Rarely have these artists met...
How to hold space (some new tips, four years after the viral blog post)
In the long shadows of early morning, on a recent trip to the Netherlands, I stood at the edge of a pond watching the light and breeze play with the surface of the water. Near where I stood, tall, straight reeds were reflected on the rippling water. It occurred to me,...
The humanity behind the harm: Extending grace to ourselves and others
I am a good person. At least that’s what I tell myself on a regular basis. I make a few mistakes now and then, but on the whole, I’m a good person. I pay my taxes, I never litter, I’m polite to baristas and sales clerks, I don’t yell at my children, and I...
The beauty of having space held for you
Listen to this post... I have a confession to make. I’m not very good at letting people hold space for me. It’s true. I’ve built my work around what it means to hold space, and I understand how valuable it is, and yet… I often bump up against resistance around...
What if I’m not a “nice girl” anymore?
I have been well trained to be a nice girl. So well trained, in fact, that, decades after that training took place, my body still goes into spasms whenever I even slightly deviate from the “nice girl” rule book. Let me tell you… when you’re...
Daring to peer into the shadows: What to do when your own darkness is revealed
Listen to a recording of this post: There’s a labyrinth on Whidbey Island that is encircled by tall trees that cast shadows across the path. As you walk the labyrinth, you step from light into shadow and back again. It's a great metaphor for life. A few weeks...
This is toxic masculinity. And we are tired of absorbing it.
I was on my way to the dentist, feeling anxious because I had a broken tooth and was sure the repair would be expensive and painful and that it must somehow be my fault and I’d be shamed for not flossing, eating hard candy, or clenching my teeth when I sleep. I was...
What if there is no happy ending?
“Of all the losses experienced in personal relationships, ambiguous loss is the most devastating because it remains unclear, indeterminate.” - Pauline Boss When I teach about holding space, I almost always start by teaching about liminal space. It helps participants...
Reflections from a place of joy (my thoughts as 2018 draws to a close)
I can’t remember if I picked a word at the beginning of 2018. I used to choose one faithfully, but that practice hasn’t had as much of a draw for me in the last two years as it once did. In the early years (starting with the year I chose fearless), my word helped pull...
Sometimes, it’s okay to let them see you sweat (a reflection on vulnerability and camel shit)
Sometimes it's okay to "let them see you sweat." I sweat. A LOT. And my face turns beet red when I exert myself, so if you’re ever present when I exercise (which, sadly, isn’t often enough) you won’t be able to miss the evidence of my efforts. But this post isn’t...
Shawnigan Lake, B.C.
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