by Heather Plett | Feb 9, 2011 | prayer, Uncategorized, writing
Sometimes, I forget how to pray. No… scratch that – not just SOMETIMES, but OFTEN. Almost every single day.
I have a lousy memory. I forget what it takes to tap into God’s power. I forget that there is something bigger than me at work in the world. I forget that I don’t have to do all of this work alone. I forget that often the most valuable use of my time is to just SHUT UP and LISTEN.
As my last post suggests, I have too often fallen victim to the cult of productivity. We value “busy” in our culture. We don’t value sitting quietly and listening to the wisdom of the God of our understanding. Even in our prayers we think we have to be DOING something all the time. Like maybe we have to fill our prayer time with a whole lot of talking, reeling off a long list of things we think God should be doing in our lives and the lives of the people around us.
It’s not that God doesn’t want to hear from us, but often I think what God wants is just for us to sit quietly, submit our will and our thoughts, and just listen.
The book I’m writing is causing me to think a lot about the day to day presence of God. I have never had such a strong sense of the presence of God in my life as I did during those three weeks in the hospital waiting for my son to arrive. Yesterday I caught myself thinking “I wonder what I could do to go back to that place – to once again sense God’s presence in that way.”
God has a sneaky way of responding when we ask questions like that. Yesterday I read two books that, ostensibly, have nothing to do with prayer, and yet the topic of prayer showed up in both of them. First I was reading Lit
, a memoir by Mary Karr that tells the story of her journey from alcoholic agnostic to sober Catholic. When she joins her first twelve step program, she has great difficulty submitting to a Higher Power. It just doesn’t make sense to her. Gradually, she learns to get down on her knees and submit. Gradually, she is transformed and she no longer has to fight the battle of addiction alone.
After finishing Lit, I picked up A World Waiting to Be Born
by one of my favourite writers, M. Scott Peck. It’s a book about civility, but lo and behold, there’s a whole chapter on prayer. Peck says that when people ask him how he manages to be so productive in his life, his answer is “I spend 2 hours every day doing nothing.” Three times a day, for 40 minutes, he sets aside all other distractions and spends dedicated time in prayer/meditation. He credits his success as a psychologist and author to the fact that he submits to his Higher Power for direction and wisdom.
Two books in one evening telling me I needed to pray more. I got the message.
This morning, after the house was empty, I climbed into the bathtub and decided that would be my prayer time. Lying there, taking deep breaths, I said “God, I open my mind to your presence.” And then I lay there, open and waiting. Well, these things don’t come naturally, and just like my running practice, I know that I have to put in the day to day effort before something becomes natural.
Here’s a little how my thought process went. “God, I open my mind to your presence. Hmmm… perhaps if I picture setting a lovely table, complete with flowers and pretty dishes, and invite God to sit with me…. oooh… I like that… wouldn’t that make a lovely blog idea? I could prepare a guided meditation for people about how to invite God’s presence…. oops… I’m slipping into meta-praying – thinking about praying instead of doing it… Okay, let’s try this again… God, I open my mind to your presence. Come sit at my table and dine with me…. Hmmm… I better make this quick. I’ve got lots of work to do. I have to prep my teaching notes and mark all those papers and…”
Yeah, you know how these things go.
But at least I’m trying. And maybe tomorrow I’ll get a few extra seconds in before my mind wanders again.
by Heather Plett | Feb 2, 2011 | Uncategorized
A few updates:
1. I’m no longer blogging at my old blog, Fumbling for Words. I decided it was time to stop fumbling and just start writing. It was a little sad letting that URL go after nearly six years, but it felt like it was time. I have, however, migrated all of my posts from there onto this blog, so you can find any of my old posts here.
2. As many of you know, a book is in the works. It’s taking top priority right now, so I’m not going to promise that I’ll be the world’s best blogger. One or two posts a week is all you can expect to find here. If you find more, it might be a good time to send me a little note that says “GET BACK TO WRITING YOUR BOOK!”
3. That being said, as crazy as it may sound, I’ve started a NEW blog. As you can tell from my last few posts, I’ve fallen in love with running. It’s starting to take over too many of my posts around here and it doesn’t totally fit with what I want to do here. Plus I’m annoying my Facebook friends because every time I run I come home on an adrenalin high and I just want to shout “I WENT RUNNING! IT WAS AMAZING!” So I decided to house my little love affair with running over at a new home called Running Practice. It’s partly about how my running practice has become my spiritual practice, my creativity booster, and so much more. I won’t promise any brilliance over there, though – some days it will just say “I went running. It was amazing!”
by Heather Plett | Feb 1, 2011 | Uncategorized
Body: It’s a running day today. Oh how I love to run! Let’s go!
Heart: Yes, that running thing is really growing on me too. I’m in!
Mind: Are you crazy?!? It’s minus 41 degrees out there!
Body: Well, we can go to the gym instead then. I want to run!
Mind: But we’d have to take the bus to the gym and… we just don’t have time for that this morning. We have to get some writing done. We can go to the gym tonight.
Body: Well then let’s at least do some yoga. I need a little movement this morning.
Heart: I was kind of looking forward to a little movement too. Movement helps me pray.
Mind: Don’t be silly. We don’t have time for movement. If we don’t get some writing done this morning, we won’t have any other chance this week.
Body: But you won’t be able to focus on writing if we don’t get to move.
Heart: I’m feeling anxious right now. Can you two get this resolved so we can all feel a little more settled about the day?
Mind: Okay, it’s settled. I’m the boss around here – time to sit your butt down in that chair and write!
Body: You can force me to sit in the chair, but you can’t force me to cooperate! If we don’t move first, you won’t be very productive and you’ll be VERY frustrated later.
Mind: Can you just shut up already? Moving is a waste of time! Writing is what we’ve been called to do, not moving. Moving is for sissies!
Body: Is not!
Mind: Is too!
Body: Is not!
Mind: Is too! Sissy!
Heart: Please! You two are behaving badly. It’s really starting to upset me.
Body: Well, Mind is being a bully and I’m tired of it! She’s been Queen of the Hill for so long – when is it my turn?
Heart: Nobody needs to be Queen of the Hill. Can’t we all just work together?
Mind: Ha! That’s a pipe dream. Neither of you can function without ME!
Body: Oh you think you’re so special. Let’s see you get your thoughts on paper without ME!
Heart: Sigh. Look – can I suggest a compromise?
Mind & Body: What?
Heart: Well, if we just spend 25 minutes on the mat, it won’t take a lot of time away from our writing, but it will help all of us feel more settled and in the end we’ll be more productive.
Body: Works for me. As long as I still get to go running tonight.
Mind: Fine. I guess I can compromise. But you can’t force me to focus on all that breathing and body stuff. I’m going on my own journey. I’ve got a thousand things to think about – like how we’re going to pay the bills, what groceries we need to buy, when we’ll find time to mark papers for Thursday’s class…
Heart: Can you at least help me out a little and try to be still for a couple of moments so I can pray?
Mind: But… you know how restless I get with stillness. It makes me nervous.
Heart: Just try it for a few seconds at a time. You might grow to like it.
Body: Okay, let’s go – the mat’s ready!
by Heather Plett | Jan 29, 2011 | Joy, Uncategorized
– Running in the fresh snow (well, okay… the real joy was in the FINISHING!)
– My iPod that keeps me entertained while I run
– The delicious chicken vindaloo curry my husband cooked the other night
– The beautiful winter wonderland outside my window
– Hoarfrost-covered trees at the legislative building that took my breath away when I stepped out of my classroom at lunch time
– Hosting our former mayoral candidate, Judy Wasylycia-Leis, as our guest speaker in class this week
– Lunch with my smart and funny friend Susan
– Lunch with a new friend, wise and warm Priscilla
– Watching the delighted children in the downtown walkway discover the purple walls and remembering that “it pisses God off when you walk past the colour purple without noticing”
– Surviving a root canal by re-listening to the Teacher’s Path podcast of the delightful Jen Louden interviewing the equally delightful Jack Ridl
– The fact that I have a kind and gentle dentist who does his best to make root canals as pleasant as they can be
– Hot baths. And the fact that I have more opportunity for them now that I don’t have to rush out the door to a downtown office every day
– This art project that is the brainchild of my former art teacher
– Dreaming up some workshop and retreat ideas and falling in love with the possibilities
– Tonight’s book club meeting that should probably be called a “wine and conversation club meeting” instead because we rarely discuss the book in question
by Heather Plett | Jan 26, 2011 | practice, running, Uncategorized
This morning, I increased my running time and programmed it accordingly into the timer on my ipod. When I run, gentle Tibetan bells ring in my ears to tell me when my running interval is over, and then (when my 2 minute walk time is over) when it’s time to kick it into gear again.
On my second ten minute running interval, it seemed to be taking forever for the bells to ring. I was getting pretty tired, and a cramp started under my rib cage.
“Oh my gosh!” I thought, “surely it shouldn’t be this hard to add just one minute to my time!” I kept running though, determined to complete the interval.
Eventually, I started to wonder about the timer. I took my ipod out of my pocket. Surprise, surprise! The bell hadn’t rung and I’d run right through my rest time and all the way to the end of the third interval! Twenty-two minutes without stopping!
Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised that I had much greater capacity than I thought I did. Apparently, I’m not running to my full potential.
When I started running back in June, I could barely survive the one minute run, two minute walk intervals. Now I can run 22 minutes and not pass out at the end! I felt great!
Lately a few people have asked “what are you training for?” – as though there’s no good reason to take up running other than training for a specific goal. Others ask about weight loss – as though it’s only about accomplishing some improvement in my body.
In answer to the first question, I have been known to say, rather sheepishly “well, I’d like to run the half marathon in June, if possible.” It seems to satisfy their goal-oriented mind-set. In answer to the second question, I have – equally sheepishly – said something about “every little bit helps”. Neither answer feels like my full truth though.
What I’d like to say is, “I’m training to be more fully alive. I’m training to be more fully myself.”
THAT’S what it’s about. When I run, I am energized, alive, and full of creative, spiritual energy. I am present in my body and my mind. I delight in the sweat and adrenalin and I feel like I am coming more fully into what it means to be me. I am connected to God and to nature and to what it means to be alive in the universe.
That’s why I like the word “practice” rather than “training”. Training is about achieving a goal. When my running becomes my practice, on the other hand, it isn’t about reaching goals, striving to be an award-winning athlete, or becoming a thinner version of myself. It’s about adopting running as one of the practices that helps me grow and learn and stretch and meditate and think and create and just be fully alive.
I love the word “practice”. I especially like it when it’s attached to the things we do – running practice, yoga practice, dance practice, writing practice, photography practice, meditation practice – even medical practice and law practice. It’s not necessarily about perfecting these things (though we do strive to get better at them), it’s about being present in them and growing more fully into the person they help us to be. It’s about doing them because we love them and know the value they bring to our lives.
Our culture (especially our masculine-driven business world) tends to be goal oriented and product oriented. We need to see evidence of success, production, completion, victory, and graduation. But most of the time, completion is the least important part of the process. Often (perhaps always?) true success is in how well we commit to the practice and how much we are committed to being life-long learners and practitioners.
Practice is a perfect Sophia word. Feminine wisdom helps us separate ourselves from the outcome and sit more comfortably with the process. It helps us be more present with God and with nature and let our practice change us and change each other.
It’s not that outcomes aren’t important – it’s just that often the process IS the greatest outcome.
by Heather Plett | Jan 26, 2011 | Uncategorized
You don’t have to be awesome.
You aren’t being asked for that.
You don’t have to be flawless.
You don’t have to hide your imperfections.
You don’t have to do a better job than anyone else.
You don’t have to solve every problem.
You don’t have to win all the time.
You don’t have to get 100% on your next test.
You don’t have to be beautiful.
You don’t have to be productive all the time.
You just have to try.
And try again.
And then rest sometimes.
And let others help you.
And leave the rest up to God.
