Recently, I finished the first draft of my book. It’s a book I’ve resisted writing for ten years because there are parts of it that are just so darn scary, I was much more comfortable shoving those memories and ideas into a closet than bringing them into the light of day. And yet, that book just kept insisting it wanted to be written. And now that it’s written (at least the first draft), it won’t leave me alone until I share it. Pesky book.
After I finished it though, it felt like a great big boulder had been lifted off me. A boulder of fear and resistance that was keeping me from growing into the next phase of my life.
Shortly after closing the file, something told me I should go back and watch the video I created two years ago. In 2009, I chose “fearless” as my word for the year, and in honour of that choice, I created this video…
After watching it, I sat back in stunned amazement. In just over two years, I’ve done almost all of the things I committed to in that video!
– I’ve taken not just one, but THREE art classes. I have fallen in love with painting AND I’m even teaching an art journal workshop at 21 Secrets! How cool is that?!
– I wrote the book that was scaring the pants off me, rather than the book that seemed like the safe choice (and a publisher was interested in).
– I got breast reduction surgery and consequently stopped wearing ill-fitting clothing.
– I’ve dared to reach out and be vulnerable and have developed some truly amazing friendships.
– I’ve taken chances with my writing and shared a lot of personal stories on my blog. I dropped my “fumbling for words” blog because it was time to step into a more confident writer voice.
– I took up yoga and loved it. And then I took up running and loved it even more.
– I quit my job without a master plan or security blanket. I jumped into the abyss not knowing where the ground would be.
– I started Sophia Leadership and have connected with a lot of amazing people through what has emerged here.
– I started teaching a writing course at the university. I fell in love with teaching. And I dream of the next courses I want to teach.
– I released my first e-book. I took a risk and asked a lot of smart people to contribute, and they DID! Over 500 copies were downloaded in just two weeks.
– I followed my heart to a few world-changing events and met some truly amazing world-changing people.
– I put out a proposal to ALIA to do some promotional work for their Summer Institute, and they took me up on it.
As soon as I realized that I’d done all of those things I’d dreamed of having enough fearlessness to do, I knew it was time to make a new video. If one little video can have so much impact, perhaps I need to do a new one every couple of years.
tree of hope
AND this time I decided it was time to make a truly bold commitment, and paint my intentions on the wall. In the video, you’ll see the creation of the dream-filled artwork that now greets me when I walk into my little basement studio (alongside the one by my daughter Maddy).
While we were painting, Maddy joked that if all of those swirls represented my daughters (as they have in other paintings, when I’ve painted only three), I must want to have a LOT of children. I told her that this time, they represent my dreams. Her response? “If you have that many dreams, you’d better get busy and make them happen, because your life is half over!”
I can’t remember exactly when I discovered Cath Duncan online, but I do remember that I felt almost immediately drawn in by her warmth and willingness to put herself out there in a genuine way. Cath is a qualified and experienced Social Worker, Neuro-linguistic Psychology Master Practitioner and Martha Beck Life Coach who helps entrepreneurs and professionals to get more of the 4 M’s in their work and beyond; Motivation, Mastery, Meaning and Money.
This past year, I’ve felt even more drawn to Cath as she shared parts of her journey through pregnancy and then the loss of her baby girl. I had a wonderful conversation with Cath for this interview as she talks about that journey and how she’s still learning lessons about letting go of the ground. She shares deeply about both brokenness and hope. And if you occasionally see a look of pain cross my face, it’s because the conversation brought back strong memories of my own loss.
We interrupt your regular programming to bring you… a little joy. 🙂
The interviews for my “Letting go of the Ground” series have been beyond amazing. I have several more that I can’t wait to share with you. So many stories, so much wisdom, so much courage!
Today’s a mini-vacation though (the girls are on Spring Break and we’re going on little road trip), so I thought I’d take a little break from the interviews and share a little JOY!
Here are the things bringing me joy these days:
– The road trip. A girls only mini-vacation with friends who make us laugh.
– Amazing connections with really wise people. This interview series and my e-book are full of incredible wisdom and it humbles and amazes me (and baffles me somewhat) that I’ve managed to surround myself with so many smart people. Wow. Really… WOW.
– And the connections go even further. Remember ALIA? One of my favourite events of last year? Well, I’m going again in June AND in the space of time between now and then, I get to interview a number of the really smart people on the faculty for their “Change for Good” project. This is amazing stuff, people. These are world-changing, deep-thinking, knock-my-socks-off kinda people and I get to have one-on-one conversations with them. Pinch me! Here’s one example.
– Spring. Oh my – it can’t come soon enough! SO glad to have this hard long winter over!
– Running. Still loving it. This morning – seven miles in the crisp air.
– The administration in the University program I teach at saying “You’ve managed to build trust with the students. We want MORE of you.” And then having them offer me more classes to teach.
– One of my students (with a sparkle in her eyes) blaming me for exposing her to so many ideas and possibilities, that she just can’t go back to her “safe” way of thinking anymore.
– Chai latte with my friend Jo-Anne tomorrow. We have the GREATEST conversations.
– More people downloading my e-book in three weeks than I dared to dream of. So many people responding with gratitude, saying how much it means to them.
– Another upcoming opportunity to teach my “Leading with your Paint Clothes on” workshop.
– My book! I think I’ve finished the first draft! (I say “think”, because I’m going to sit with it for awhile to see if anything else needs to emerge.) And the best part is – I’m feeling really happy with it so far.
– Living this dream of writing and teaching and creating for a living and LOVING every minute of it.
p.s. If you’re reading this, and you’re in the middle of a lot of pain and ugliness right now, and you’re thinking “oh my gosh, I wish this Pollyanna would just shut up with the joy already”, just know this… it gets better. Just after writing this, I realized that a year ago, I was in a horrible place of transition and ugliness and dealing with a husband slipping into a deep dark depression. Let me tell you, I know from personal experience that it gets better.
One of the things I love about the process of doing interviews for this series is the great variety of stories that are emerging. Today’s story is quite different from the last one, and yet in each one there is great wisdom to be gleaned.
When I first started dreaming about leaving my job for self-employment, I picked up the book Making a Living Without a Job and I was hooked. It was the perfect thing to fuel my dream. I also started following its author, Barbara Winter, on Twitter and soon learned that she is one of the most warm and genuine people you could ever meet. When I finally left that job, I think Barbara was the first person to cheer me on, and she has been a consistent cheerleader and supporter since. Some day, I want to curl up on a couch with her and enjoy a cup of tea together.
In this video, Barbara shares her personal story of making the leap from “safe” employment to the relatively shaky ground of self-employment. (Once again, the longer video – full of all kinds of wisdom and advice – will be available once I release my e-course.)
When I first started down the path that lead me to Sophia Leadership, I started searching for other people online who were writing about feminine wisdom. Julie Daley is one of the first people whose writing drew me in. It didn’t just draw me in, it wrapped itself around me like a warm quilt that made me feel like I’d come home after a long and lonely voyage at sea. Julie is wise and beautiful and one of the most gracious and kind people I’ve met online. She exudes that grace on this video.
I could have talked to Julie for hours, and to tell you the truth, we’re already considering a follow-up interview. In this video, she shares a couple of heart-wrenching stories of when the ground was  swept out from under her feet. In future installations, she’ll share more about the times she’s chosen to let go of the ground.
Once again, Julie shared much more wisdom than is on this video. That will be available once my e-course emerges. For more on that (and a collection of all of the story-sharing videos in one place) visit my e-course preview.
and I was hooked. It was the perfect thing to fuel my dream. I also started following its author, 