IMPORTANT UPDATE
As of April 2024, my blog has moved over to Substack where I’m co-hosting A Tender Space (together with my business partner at Centre for Holding Space). You can find my new writing plus podcast episodes there, or sign up below to get them in your inbox.
Here’s some of my earlier writing…
Unclear vision and a fragile thread
The Way It Is There’s a thread you follow. It goes among things that change. But it doesn’t change. People wonder about what you are pursuing. You have to explain about the thread. But it is hard for others to see. While you hold it you can’t get lost. Tragedies...
Hold your tongue and offer your heart instead
When my mom was dying of cancer, I occasionally got messages from well-meaning people who wanted to offer what they thought was valuable information about how mom could cure her cancer. Eat raw food, take more vitamin C, stop drinking milk - all of those suggestions...
Forgiveness and the death of my son
If it hadn’t been for doctors’ errors, I would have a sixteen-year-old son. Halfway through my third pregnancy, I could sense that something was wrong. My body didn’t feel right. “I feel like I have to re-adjust my hips every time I stand up to avoid the baby dropping...
Communicating across differences and through noise
Melancholy: a feeling of pensive sadness, typically with no obvious cause That sounds about right for my state of mind this past week. I hesitate to call it depression, because it doesn’t feel that heavy, but there is definitely “pensive sadness” going on and it has...
Centring marginalized voices and decolonizing my bookshelf
At the beginning of 2016, I made a commitment to read only books by authors who weren’t from the dominant culture. My intent was to broaden my education and stretch myself by staying away from books written by white able-bodied cisgender heterosexuals. Books have...
How to start a women’s circle
Tonight is my weekly women’s circle, and I’m looking forward to it as I always do. It’s not a perfect space (we are all human and we don’t always know how to hold space for each other), but it is beautifully imperfect. We show up - sometimes 2 women and sometimes 12 -...
Learning to listen
My three daughters are all very different in how they view the world, how they communicate and how they process emotions. One of the most challenging things I’ve had to learn as their mom is that I have to listen to them differently. One is introverted and...
Safety: My privilege, my trap, and my right
1. Safety - my privilege The atmosphere was rather festive as my daughters and I made banners for the women’s march. They’re not new to political activism, having been raised in a home where political dialogue is as common as mashed potatoes, but this was the first...
Trauma and Trump
I first noticed it while watching the first presidential debate. When Trump spent the whole time interrupting Hillary Clinton, belittling her, and standing behind her in an intimidating way while she spoke, I was so shaken up that I could barely stand it. This wasn't...
Passiveness and pacifism are not the same (or: what my Mennonite childhood taught me about holding space)
It's often said that “cleanliness is next to godliness”, but in my Mennonite upbringing, it was pacifism that held that honoured place. From early childhood, we understood that that was one of the key things that set us apart. We were the people who didn’t go to war. ...
Shawnigan Lake, B.C.
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