by Heather Plett | Apr 28, 2011 | birth, childhood, journey, Leadership, Nikki, Uncategorized, Wisdom
photo courtesy of OnTask, Flickr
Last night was my daughter’s first rugby game, and let me tell you, she was FIERCE! She threw herself into the game just the way I knew she would – with her whole heart and body. She dug her feet in and pushed with all her might against the opposing team in the scrum (what you see in the photo – but that’s a borrowed photo and not her team). She pummelled any opponent who dared to run by her carrying the ball. She dashed across the field whenever the ball was tossed to her… and she SCORED! In the last seconds of the game, she made it across the line to score her very first “try” (like a touchdown in football) in her very first game.
I thought I would be scared to watch her (this is the girl who tore a ligament in her knee and had to have surgery because of a soccer injury – partly because she is such an intense player), but the truth is I LOVED IT!
I LOVED the energy on the field. I LOVED the way that those young girls get to live out their fierceness in such a healthy and fun way. I LOVED the way Nikki would not back down from even the biggest opponent.
I’m a little ashamed to admit this, but I used to be afraid of her fierceness. I used to think it was my job as her mom to help her cage it in some way. I used to cringe when I’d watch her get fouled out in basketball or get penalties in soccer. It was hard to watch that fierce look in her eyes when she’d throw her passion into a sport, because I was afraid she’d get hurt or that she’d hurt someone else. I’d tell her, when she’d come off the field, “can you be a little less vicious? Tone it down a little.”
But now? I am thrilled for her that she has found a sport that honours that fierceness in her. I told her last night, “Honey, don’t ever lose that fierceness. Find healthy ways of using it, but don’t ever let people tell you it’s wrong.”
Because I realized something last night as I watched her. Somewhere along the line, I let my fierceness be caged. I let the expectations that I be a “nice girl”, a “well-behaved girl”, a “quiet girl” put me inside a cage and it is taking me years to break out of that cage. Even now I still fight those bars, trying to break out into freedom. Even now I keep silent when I should be shouting, I make choices that limit me because I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings, I tell little white lies because I hate offending people with the truth, and I bottle anger inside because it scares me.
After the rugby game last night, I read Ronna Detrick’s magnificent post about the vision, the roar, and the muse and I knew what I needed to do. I need to ROAR! I need quit trying to bottle the fierceness inside me. I need to quit letting myself believe I have to be polite and nice and never hurt anyone’s feelings. I need to challenge those people who dare to bottle my truth just because it scares them. I need to let my inner warrior CHARGE forward with courage and strength.
This morning, as I ran, I had a flashback to the birth of my second daughter. In the depths of labour, after I’d let out a fierce, primal scream, a nurse told me, with a measure of impatience, “if you keep screaming like that, you’ll have no voice tomorrow.” Instantly, I went to that place I go when I’ve dared to step out of the role of “nice, respectful, quiet” girl and someone calls me on it – I went to shame. I bottled the next scream deep inside because I didn’t want to cause anyone annoyance, I didn’t want to embarrass myself, and I didn’t want to risk tomorrow’s voice.
But you know what? Later, after I held my daughter in my arms, I thought, “BULLSHIT! WHY would you tell a birthing woman to keep silent? If you can’t scream in childbirth, when CAN you scream? And what kind of nonsense is not screaming today because it might hurt your voice tomorrow? If today needs a scream, well then, dammit, SCREAM!”
I can’t go back to that moment and let out that next scream I bottled, but I can choose to not let anyone bottle the next scream that needs to erupt from that primal place in me.
I will not be silent anymore.
I will not let my fierceness be caged.
I will challenge old paradigms of leadership and write books about new and scary ideas, if that is the scream that needs to emerge.
And I will sit on the sidelines and CHEER as my fierce daughter charges headlong into a sport that may very well hurt her. Because DAMMIT if she can’t relish her fierceness now, then some day she will be lying in a hospital bed and letting a nurse silence her primal scream.
by Heather Plett | Apr 27, 2011 | Uncategorized
There’s been a longing in my heart for 14 years now. It’s a longing that has often left me feeling incomplete, lonely, lost, and perhaps even flawed in some way.
I have been longing for some book or workshop that would validate ME as a leader (in all my messy, creative, intuitive, contemplative, chaotic beauty), not try to make me conform to a leadership box that didn’t fit. I wanted someone to say “You’re okay. Your intuitive sense of what it takes to be a leader is not wrong. In fact, it’s very, very RIGHT.”
I wanted that, but I never found it. Not completely. Oh, I found whispers of it, in books by David Irvine, David Whyte, Michael Jones, Christina Baldwin, and others. And I found heaps of it at ALIA, but there was still something lacking. Something that spoke the truths I knew in my heart but had learned to doubt because they had been so overshadowed by other paradigms – more established and more acceptable ways of doing leadership.
In recent months, though, there has been a growing realization in my heart.
The answer to my own longing could be found in the deep places in my own heart.
The book I longed for, the workshop I dreamed of participating in – those were the gifts that were meant for ME to offer the world. I didn’t have to wait for them any longer. I simply had to open the door to them and let the words flow from the places in my heart where the wisdom, ideas, stories, and inspiration have been gathered.
I am releasing my VERY FIRST product for sale on this website and it comes straight from those deep places in my heart. It comes straight from years of longing, years of gathering stories, years of listening to the wisdom all around me and in my own soul, and years of a growing realization that the old paradigms don’t work anymore.
It is this… a workbook called How to Lead with your Paint Clothes on.
It is the wisdom I sought those many years ago when I began to doubt my own leadership because it didn’t fit the existing paradigms.
It is the wisdom I offer you, if you too feel like you’ve been swimming in the wrong tank for too long.
It is the wisdom of art brought into the world of leadership. It is the wisdom of creativity, chaos, courage, authenticity, curiosity, contemplation, and doodling.
It is for leaders, dreamers, parents, entrepreneurs, innovators, artists, dancers, and world-changers of all kinds.
It is for anyone who longs to use their artistic gifts to make a difference in the world.
There’s a workbook available, but there’s more. If you’ve felt like I did so many times in the last 14 years, I don’t want you to have to walk this journey alone. I’m also offering a learning circle and the opportunity to have one-on-one mentorship with me.
Go here to find out more. You can download the first 8 pages free.
This is not an expensive product. I’ve made it affordable (only $30 for the workbook, and more if you want to be part of the learning circle or be mentored) so that it can be accessible to all kinds of leaders, including those who are just beginning to trust that intuitive voice inside themselves.
Please share this with your friends. Because I KNOW that I’m not the only one who’s tired of trying to fit into the old paradigms.
by Heather Plett | Apr 19, 2011 | Uncategorized
When I began teaching “Writing for Public Relations” back in November, I was determined that my students would learn not just about the proper techniques for writing press releases or communication strategies, but they would learn first and foremost what it takes to be a creative communicator who communicates with integrity and authenticity. (No spin doctors in this class!) I have hired a lot of PR professionals and I know that knowledge of techniques is secondary in value to creativity and integrity.
I was also determined that I would leave my students with more than just stronger writing capacity. I wanted to leave them with a sense of possibility, new trust in their own ability, a deeper desire to learn about the world, and a challenge to find some way to make the world a better place.
It may not have been what some expected to get from a Writing for PR class (and some days I felt like I was battling up-stream because most other teachers in the program taught differently), but I think it was a deeper and more meaningful experience this way.
Yesterday, before the final class of the session ended, I left them with this blessing:
May you find some place where you can do good work – the kind of work that calls you, energizes you, and gives you a reason to wake up in the morning.
May you always remember that whatever you do – even if it is sweeping hospital floors – is good and important work if you give your heart to it.
May you find your joy people – the kind of people who love and care for you, but also challenge you to do your best work.
May you trust yourself enough to follow the path that you delight in, whether or not others think it’s wise.
May you follow your passions and not simply settle for “good enough”.
May you find courage when the path feels too treacherous to pass.
May you find comfort when you face disappointment and discouragement.
May you find strength when the world feels like it is trying to weaken you.
May you find people to celebrate with you when you succeed.
May you always take delight in creativity and innovation and remember that “the way things have always been done” isn’t always the best way.
May you always remember to follow the rules that matter, and challenge the ones that only serve to get in the way of growth and creativity.
May you find happiness.
May you always live with authenticity and integrity.
And may you know love and contentment.
by Heather Plett | Apr 18, 2011 | Uncategorized
This morning, while everyone else was still sleeping, Maddy and I decided that we needed to get out of the house and find something green and alive (after a few dismal days of cold after a tease of Spring). So we went to the conservatory, let the moisture in the air soak into our post-winter-dry skin, took some pictures, and sat and wrote in our journals for awhile. It was just what we both needed.
That is all for today. No profound words, no searching questions, no emerging wisdom. Just a few photos to remind you that things will grow again, that children are beautiful, and that there is value in grabbing your journal and sitting next to a flower for awhile.
by Heather Plett | Apr 5, 2011 | birthday, fearless, Uncategorized
In just 45 days, I will turn 45. It doesn’t really scare me, or depress me. In fact, I feel quite good about it. I’m enjoying my 40s. It’s a beautiful middle ground. You’re old enough to be taken seriously, but young enough to be forgiven for still making foolish mistakes.
I’m more relaxed in my skin, comfortable with who I am, and confident in my own wisdom than I ever was in my 20s or 30s. I’m no longer dealing with the stress of early parenthood or all of that self-doubt when you just can’t figure out what you want to be when you grow up. (Not that I’ve mastered either of those things, but rather that I’m more comfortable with the not-knowing).
Just before I turned 40, I wrote a post called “40 days ’til 40” (on my old blog) about the ways that I wanted to spend 40 days in preparation for my 40s intentionally seeking out more opportunities for contemplation, creativity, spirituality, and physical activity. I’m happy to say that those 40 days helped set the tone for this decade – I’ve done more of all of those things (and been more intentional about them) in my 40s than I ever did before.
After those 40 days of preparation, I did two big things to mark my 40th birthday – I got my nose pierced and I went skydiving. Those two things ushered in a more fearless decade than I’ve ever had (as you saw in the last post). Jumping out of a plane made me feel like I was capable of doing almost anything. (Incidentally, for my last birthday, I had a bra-burning party to celebrate my breast reduction surgery. I have this thing for marking major milestones.)
Now that it’s 45 days until my 45th birthday, I’m contemplating how I should mark the midway point in this decade. Once again, I want to do something that challenges my fear and teaches me new lessons in my current theme… letting go of the ground. (By the way, I hope to release my e-course by that name on my birthday!)
That’s where YOU come in.
I’m hoping to come up with 45 ways of turning 45. In other words… 45 ways of being fearless, 45 ways of letting go of the ground, or 45 ways of embracing my feminine wisdom and growing my creativity.
Can you help me? Leave your suggestions (on any of those themes, or come up with a way to combine them ALL) in the comments or email me. I’m not saying I’ll do them all, but I’ll at least do one or two that feel like a good fit.
Keep in mind that our finances are not abundant right now (as I struggle to build a new business) so if your idea is expensive, you’ll also have to come up with an idea for financing it.
Give it your best shot… how can I become a more FEARLESS 45?
p.s. one of my plans is to run my first half-marathon a few weeks after my birthday.
by Heather Plett | Mar 30, 2011 | Uncategorized
We interrupt your regular programming to bring you… a little joy. 🙂
The interviews for my “Letting go of the Ground” series have been beyond amazing. I have several more that I can’t wait to share with you. So many stories, so much wisdom, so much courage!
Today’s a mini-vacation though (the girls are on Spring Break and we’re going on little road trip), so I thought I’d take a little break from the interviews and share a little JOY!
Here are the things bringing me joy these days:
– The road trip. A girls only mini-vacation with friends who make us laugh.
– Amazing connections with really wise people. This interview series and my e-book are full of incredible wisdom and it humbles and amazes me (and baffles me somewhat) that I’ve managed to surround myself with so many smart people. Wow. Really… WOW.
– And the connections go even further. Remember ALIA? One of my favourite events of last year? Well, I’m going again in June AND in the space of time between now and then, I get to interview a number of the really smart people on the faculty for their “Change for Good” project. This is amazing stuff, people. These are world-changing, deep-thinking, knock-my-socks-off kinda people and I get to have one-on-one conversations with them. Pinch me! Here’s one example.
– Spring. Oh my – it can’t come soon enough! SO glad to have this hard long winter over!
– Running. Still loving it. This morning – seven miles in the crisp air.
– The administration in the University program I teach at saying “You’ve managed to build trust with the students. We want MORE of you.” And then having them offer me more classes to teach.
– One of my students (with a sparkle in her eyes) blaming me for exposing her to so many ideas and possibilities, that she just can’t go back to her “safe” way of thinking anymore.
– Chai latte with my friend Jo-Anne tomorrow. We have the GREATEST conversations.
– More people downloading my e-book in three weeks than I dared to dream of. So many people responding with gratitude, saying how much it means to them.
– Another upcoming opportunity to teach my “Leading with your Paint Clothes on” workshop.
– My book! I think I’ve finished the first draft! (I say “think”, because I’m going to sit with it for awhile to see if anything else needs to emerge.) And the best part is – I’m feeling really happy with it so far.
– Living this dream of writing and teaching and creating for a living and LOVING every minute of it.
p.s. If you’re reading this, and you’re in the middle of a lot of pain and ugliness right now, and you’re thinking “oh my gosh, I wish this Pollyanna would just shut up with the joy already”, just know this… it gets better. Just after writing this, I realized that a year ago, I was in a horrible place of transition and ugliness and dealing with a husband slipping into a deep dark depression. Let me tell you, I know from personal experience that it gets better.
